Billy Joel And Pork Rind Sculpting: Your Week Is Hereby Planned

Minor Enterprise has a way of pleasin', I don't know why it is, but there doesn't have to be a reason. Anyway ...

If you can attend only one Brooklyn Cyclones game over the next few days, I pity you; because it's going to be nearly impossible to choose between the two blockbuster promotions depicted above. Tribute to Billy Joel, or Salute to the Pork Rind? Wiser men than me have considered this dilemma and failed. So I suggest skipping that bar exam and attending both. Just consider the potential rewards.

• Tribute to Billy Joel: Saturday, July 12. Not only does this serve as a warmup for the Piano Man's gala Last Play at Shea on July 16 and 18, but it's also the 30th anniversary of Joel's breakout album The Stranger. The first 2,500 fans at KeySpan Park will receive commemorative baseballs depicting our automobile driving-challenged hero (pictured below), and there'll be a chance to win two tickets to the Shea concert, which are getting rather pricey. Did you know that after next Wednesday, Joel will be the only major artist to have played both Shea and Yankee Stadiums?

There will also be Billy Joel-themed trivia contests and sing-a-longs of his most popular tunes (there's nothing like a rousing chorus of Scenes From an Italian Restaurant during the seventh-inning stretch). Giveaways will also include prize packs featuring The Stranger Deluxe Box Set, a limited edition poster and a vinyl copy of the original The Stranger album.

• Salute to the Pork Rind. Monday, July 14. Just when the excitement of Saturday is beginning to settle, here comes the greatest of all snack-related promotions. The feature attraction will of course be the pork rind sculpture contest, where the winner will receive "an all-expense paid trip to Hanover, PA to tour the Utz factory and Headquarters — bus fare, hotel, spending money included." One of the between-inning contests will also feature two fans diving into a pool of pork rinds for a hidden treasure, and another will see contestants toss pork rinds at a target. Just when you thought your trip to Euro Disney couldn't be topped ...

Anyone interested in entering the pork rind sculpture contest should contact Ricky Viola at 718-37-BKLYN, or [email protected]

Other upcoming promotions:

• Dave Rozema Karate Kick Bobbleleg. Tonight, West Michigan Whitecaps (Class A Midwest League). Anyone attending this is hereby deputized to give us a full report. Godspeed.

• Bret "The Hitman" Hart Appearance. Thursday, July 10, Vancouver Canadians (Class A Northwest League). Ask him about The Montreal Screwjob.

• Allen Iverson Celebrity Softball Classic. Monday, July 14, Bowie Baysox (Class AA Eastern League). I generally never pass up an opportunity to see Wanda Sykes and Carmello Anthony at the same event, so this is a must-attend. Also playing will be Anwan Glover of The Wire, DeAngelo Hall, Vivica A. Fox, Luke Perry and Nate Burleson, among a host of others. The only way this could be more entertaining is if they played on donkeys. They're not though, right?

We want your minor league tips! Send all game reports, photos and old Billy Joel albums to [email protected]. Thanks!