premier-league Page 33 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

David Moyes Remains The Saddest Man In Sports
Poor David Moyes. A few short years after leaving his post as longtime Everton manager, Moyes has since flailed in his lone year as Sir Alex Ferguson’s successor at Manchester United, stuck for an even shorter duration at Real Sociedad, and has finally washed ashore at Sunderland. His squad currentl...

West Brom Fans Celebrate Their Team's Demolishment With Brilliant Chant
Poor-and-not-very-good West Brom hosted rich-and-extremely-talented Manchester City this weekend, and the game played out just as the two clubs’ payrolls might’ve indicated. But rather than stew in anger during the 4-0 beatdown, West Brom’s fans had a grand old time, as this great chant commemoratin...

A Horse Walks Into A Bar
Oh, you put a jersey on your dog to celebrate your sports team winning a game? Real cute. This Burnley fan and his cool horse are very impressed....

Xherdan Shaqiri's Left Foot Had A Hell Of A Game
It seems almost quaint now to remember that last summer, the fallen wonderkid Xherdan Shaqiri at first rejected, before accepting, the bejeweled life raft Stoke City tossed him in order to rescue him from Inter’s bench and the career obsolescence that loomed dangerously close. Stoke are a mainstay i...

The Premier League Has Never Been Better
Coming into this rich and talented and historically well-coached Premier League season, no one had any real idea about who was good and who was bad and who would win (probably Manchester City). Then the season started and everyone kind of sucked but in a fun way. Two months in, the teams have starte...

Chelsea Need Just 30 Seconds To Take Lead On Manchester United
Pedro made mincemeat of Man United defense en route to giving Chelsea a 1-0 lead just 30 seconds into their match today at Stamford Bridge. Let’s give Marcos Alonso a hand for the assist, too....

Pep Guardiola Very Politely Sons British Journalist
British journalist: “Pep, do you think your failure to beat the best team in the world a couple months into you tenure at a brand new club means you might consider throwing away the tactical philosophy that has made you arguably the greatest, most successful coach of your generation?”...

If Mesut Özil Keeps Scoring Like This, The World Better Watch Out
In Arsenal’s blowout win against Ludogorets yesterday, Mesut Özil scored three goals in the second half. I repeat: Mesut “I Live To Pass And I Never, Ever Shoot So Don’t Ask Me To” Özil scored a hat trick yesterday in the Champions League, increasing his season tally to six goals in 10 games. This i...

Swansea Lose 3-2 To Arsenal In Bob Bradley's First Game In Charge
Swansea lost 3-2 to Arsenal this morning in Bob Bradley’s first game in charge, twice coming back from a two-goal deficit but ultimately failing to win any points. In that respect, it was a quite similar to Franceso Guidolin’s final two games in charge of the Swans, when he presided over a 3-1 defea...

Everton's Oumar Niasse Is The Saddest Man In The Premier League
Oumar Niasse thought all his dreams had come true. After spending the first half of the 2015-16 season crushing it in Russia (12 goals and eight assists in 21 domestic league and European games), the Senegalese striker earned a lucrative move to the land of the TV money and the home of the enormous ...

Bob Bradley Named Swansea City's New Manager
Bob Bradley has been appointed Swansea City’s manager, becoming the first American to helm a Premier League club. He replaces Francesco Guidolin....

Arsenal Win With Offside Handball On Match's Final Play
An offside Laurent Koscielny knocked the ball into goal with his arms in the match’s final seconds to give Arsenal a 1-0 win at Burnley today in a heroic and successful attempt to keep the Gunners in third place in the Premiership. ...

Liverpool Are Finally Back
Liverpool haven’t won the league title since before the Premier League even existed, and for the last seven years or so they’ve barely even competed for the top four. The club was one day away from bankruptcy before being saved, a Steven Gerrard slip from winning the title, had one of the five best ...

Arsenal Looked Like The Best Team In England This Weekend, But They'll Fuck It Up Somehow
Meet “Troopz,” aka The Arsenal Trooper, aka (as his Twitter bio puts it) “Mr Blud/Fam,” aka the loudest, demandingest, angriest, most exuberant, all-around best Arsenal fan. He is, for once, very happy with his station in life as a Gunner today. He has good reason to be....

Premier League Player Suspended Four Games For Homophobic Tweets From Four Years Ago
The F.A. has concluded its investigation into controversial tweets made by Burnley striker Andre Gray in 2012, and has imposed upon him a four-match suspension. The tweets in question ranged from sexist to homophobic, with the most inflammatory including his apparent wish that gays would “burn” and ...

Manchester United Have A Wayne Rooney Problem
Despite what you may have heard, Wayne Rooney does not in fact suck. He remains a really good Premier League player who is very smart and boasts a unique skill set that can be quite valuable to the right team. However, he was really bad in Manchester United’s 3-1 loss to Watford, and it’s becoming i...

Thankfully, The Manchester Derby Wasn't All About José Mourinho And Pep Guardiola
It’s more than a little understandable that the narrative buildup coming into this weekend’s Manchester Derby was centered on the game as a managerial showdown. Yes, the two iconic managers of this generation—José Mourinho and Pep Guardiola, two legitimate soccer geniuses who famously and furiously ...

Payet Rabona Assist!
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Arsenal Draw Even On Laurent Koscielny Golazo<em></em>
Arsenal fell behind Southampton early thanks to a Petr Čech own goal, but Laurent Koscielny erased the deficit with an overhead kick off a series of headers from a corner delivery. ¡Golazo!...

Christian Benteke Probably Made Crystal Palace Sign His Little Brother, Who Sucks
It’s often difficult for small teams to convince players at big clubs making big bucks to forgo the glory and riches of the game’s destination clubs in favor of being the star at the little team, even when said player has found himself latched to the big team’s bench. Thus small clubs must pull out ...