Premier League Page 34 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Aston Villa Decide They're Too Terrible To Hand Out Awards
Aston Villa are bad. Really bad. Really, really bad....
Jamie Vardy's Bulldozing Goal Is A Metaphor For Leicester City's Season
Watch this latest Jamie Vardy goal, his 21st of the season. Watch him pick up the ball at the halfway line, cooly assess the situation, and decide on the brute-force move of “kick it past the motherfucker and run.” Watch him bulldoze Patrick Van Aanholt, slip past Vito Mannone, and secure a 2-0 win ...
What On Earth Is Going On With José Mourinho's Manchester United Pre-Contract?
We can all agree that the big takeaway from the pre-contract José Mourinho has reportedly signed with Manchester United is the simple fact that, after a few months on the sidelines, no doubt stewing over the calamity that was his final season at Chelsea, our man Mourinho will almost certainly be bac...
Aleksandar Mitrovic Celebrates With Idiot On The Field After Scoring A Late Equalizer
Newcastle tied up Sunderland late to secure a 1-1 draw. Aleksandar Mitrovic scored the equalizer, and was understandably pumped since it came in the 83rd minute against a rival. Mitrovic ran away from all his buddies to celebrate with this jeans-wearing Geordie....
Report: It's Mourinho Time, Baby!
The best parts of the first half of this very weird Premier League season were most certainly Chelsea melting down and playing like dogpiss and also all the wacky hijinks José Mourinho got himself into. Now, according to El Pais (Sp.), our hero has signed a “pre-contract agreement” with Manchester U...
Tottenham Fans, Rejoice! Your Team Got Beat Down Today!
Even the most fervent Tottenham fan had to admit that it looked shaky out there for a bit. By the end, though, supporters could be proud of the scoreline their boys had earned. To further their hopes at ending the season with the trophy they so covet, Spurs’ players had one objective in today’s Euro...
Arsenal Still Alive In FA Cup, But Probably Dead Everywhere Else
The good news: Arsenal beat Hull in their FA Cup replay today, scoring some pretty goals and looking pretty good doing so, earning their way into the quarterfinals of the competition they’ve won two years running now....
Sunderland CEO Resigns In Midst Of Adam Johnson Child Sex Scandal
While former Sunderland winger Adam Johnson has already been cut from his team and convicted of multiple criminal charges in lieu of his sexual relationship with a 15-year-old girl, the fallout of the entire ordeal is still settling. The latest result of the case is today’s announced resignation of ...
God, If You're Really There, Please Let Leicester Win The Premier League Title
We’ve come so close these last few years to witnessing something truly spectacular, a season-long performance of such improbable greatness that it sows hope in the hearts of fans and neutrals alike, proving that there can be something more to success and failure in the Premier League than the mere a...
The North London Derby Was Great For Leicester City
After losing Francis Coquelin to a red card and down 2-1, Arsenal looked more fraught than they’d ever been during their long, slow settling from Premier League favorites to title outsiders. Three weeks ago, they were two points behind Leicester, with ambitions to upset Barcelona in the Champions Le...
How To Beat Leicester
Leicester City’s demolition job of the Premier League’s traditional caste system, an assault they’ve kept up long past the point where anyone could still consider them a fluke, offers a few insights into which cracks in this cash-rules-everything-around-me league’s foundation can be exploited by a s...
The Premier League Title Race Is Impossibly Close And So Much Fun
The enduring memory of this weekend’s Premier League action—from Leicester flirting with disaster against Norwich before pulling it out late on Saturday, to Tottenham and Arsenal struggling to keep their own title hopes alive against Swansea and Manchester United, respectively—is just how stupidly f...
Marcus Rashford Cannot Be Stopped, Scores Twice On Arsenal In The First Half
Seriously, how did some random kid in Manchester, called up to the United first team purely because of an almost comical, unending stream of injuries, turn into something like the best striker in England in less than a week?...
The Manchester United Backroom Power Struggle Theory We Desperately Hope Is True
There’s simply never enough intrigue and entertainment to be had from Manchester United to fully sate our appetite. Either they’re crushing all opponents at home and abroad, as they did during Alex Ferguson’s tenure, or they’re shitting all over themselves, the way they have in the few years since S...
Manchester United Are Toast
With a third of the Premier League season left, Manchester United find themselves in fifth place, six points behind Manchester City and the all-important fourth Champions League spot. It’s not impossible for United to pass City, but given their inconsistency this season it’s unlikely....
Arsenal Just Took A Sledgehammer To Leicester’s Glass Slippers
You’d be hard-pressed to find a purer distillation of why Arsenal beat Leicester City yesterday 2-1, and of why the Gunners were always likely to eventually run down for the league title the greatest story in sports, than that final fateful sequence....
Relive Dele Alli's Wondergoal In Hand-Drawn Animated Form
It’s hard to imagine another goal in this season’s Premier League topping that marvelous juggling number Tottenham’s Dele Alli scored a few weeks ago, so it’s only right that this work of art be recreated in another work of art—this time done in crayon. It’s so good both ways....
Sunderland Player Released After Pleading Guilty To Sexual Activity With A Child
A day after Sunderland winger Adam Johnson pleaded guilty to two charges stemming from a sexual relationship with a 15-year-old girl, the club has reportedly terminated Johnson’s contract:...
Liverpool Fan Cannot Fookin' Believe The Club's New Ticket Prices
You could spend hours reading various takes about why Liverpool’s board has seen fit to increase their stadium ticket prices, why fans are upset about this, and the relative merits of both sides. Or you could listen to this guy’s hilarious rant which distills the whole controversy to its very essenc...