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Every Episode Of <i>Game Of Thrones</i>, Ranked
Game of Thrones is, finally, coming to an end, with the show’s eighth and final season set to premiere on Sunday night after a nearly 18-month hiatus. The meme generator masquerading as a prestige television program has been on the air since 2011 and, in the eight years since, has ridden the dragons...

A Reasoned And Correct Ranking Of NBA Teams, By Their Suitability For Zion Williamson
Zion Williamson is going to be the first overall pick of the 2019 NBA Draft. What follows is a reasoned and near-scientific ranking of all NBA teams in order of how cool it would be if they had Williamson as a rookie. Only 14 teams are actually in the running to win the draft lottery for the right t...

<i>A Christmas Story</i> Subplots, Ranked
Christmas feels incomplete without at least four-to-six partial viewings of A Christmas Story, Bob Clark’s 1983 movie based on Jean Shepherd’s semi-autobiographical stories. By now, if you have a heart, you’ve seen each segment and running subplot dozens of times. But which are the best? And which a...

Grinch Burns, Ranked
1. Your soul is an appalling dump heap, overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable, mangled up in tangled-up knots....

Hypothetical Grievances Presented By An Australian Newspaper To Defend Its Big-Lipped Serena Williams Cartoon, Ranked<em></em>
To riff on Serena Williams’s spat with umpire Carlos Ramos in the U.S. Open final, the Melbourne Herald Sun published an illustration of the tennis player, drawn by editorial cartoonist Mark Knight, which has since been met with international disgust. Today, like any normal newspaper, the Herald Sun...

The Five Best Conor McGregor Fights
After a two-year absence spent looking at boats, pretending to box, and destroying a bus with a metal barricade, Irish puncher Conor McGregor’s return to the UFC octagon is finally nigh. On Oct. 6 in Las Vegas, McGregor will meet terrifying Russian pressure wrestler Khabib Nurmagomedov for the UFC l...

Looney Tunes Characters, Ranked
Who would do this? And why? Drew Magary would, was the thing, and was gonna, and I’d rather die than let his rankings speak for the site and wind up with history recording that the place where I work said “R&B/Soul” was the second-best Looney Tunes character of all time. So we turned it into a scien...

Announcing Cliches In Soccer, Ranked
The World Cup didn’t quite feel the same without Ian Darke to call it, but at least there was another month of (mostly) British announcers populating our soccer broadcasts. Here’s a celebration of the phrases only heard when watching the beautiful game....

A Soccer Oaf's List Of The Best Soccer Things
Because it’s the most popular sport in the world and because the entire world is currently losing its collective shit about it, there is something forbidding about approaching soccer from the outside. There are many millions of people around the world who are so passionate about club teams that they...

Times Of Day For Fireworks, Ranked
Some folks outside my apartment were shooting off fireworks around noon today. Why would you waste them like that? I’m not sure, but this is when you should set off fireworks....