Hypothetical Grievances Presented By An Australian Newspaper To Defend Its Big-Lipped Serena Williams Cartoon, Ranked

To riff on Serena Williams’s spat with umpire Carlos Ramos in the U.S. Open final, the Melbourne Herald Sun published an illustration of the tennis player, drawn by editorial cartoonist Mark Knight, which has since been met with international disgust. Today, like any normal newspaper, the Herald Sun opted to dig in its heels and bemoan the PC World that promises to make life “very dull indeed.” The strategy was to place this Serena caricature alongside other caricatures that would be absurd to suppress. How silly everyone will look then, thought the newspaper editors while affixing a large pink ass to the cover of their newspaper.

After ransacking the thesaurus entry for SILENCED!!!!, they decked out the front page with a series of extremely legitimate and highly relatable grievances, which have been ranked below:

When your work is outlawed for “Randy ram resemblance”

When your work is rejected for “Silly glasses, huge crack”

When your work is forbidden for “Cane toad-likeness, bulgy eyes”

When your work is blocked for “Belly fat, Asian stereotype”

When your work is barred for “Oversized forehead, buck teeth.”

When your work is banned for “Big ears, cannibal mask”

When your work is deemed off-limits for “Muppet portrayal”

When your work is suppressed for “Stupid hair, nasty eyes, mouth and chins”

As we can all agree, these are the injustices of our time.