rb Page 370 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Watch A "One-Punch Fight" In The Stands At Today's Pirates Game
With Pittsburgh's 3-1 loss to the Reds today, a Milwaukee win over Arizona tonight would put the Brewers in first place. The fear of dreams being dashed was probably what started all this static near Bob and Eileen who just wanted to talk some Ozzy and cheer the Pirates onto a victory that would n...
Packers DB Sam Shields Gets Giant, Painful-Looking Super Bowl Ring Tattooed On His Neck
Super Bowl winners receive championship rings—expensive, garish things—but they're tangible. You can hang on to your triumph through karats....
Upcoming Reality Show Will Follow Sheriff's Deputy Butterbean Around
Step aside, Steven Seagal: Lawman. There's a new novelty cop in town, and, well, it's former heavyweight fighter Butterbean....
Kentucky Demolition Derby Winner Charged With DUI After Winning Demolition Derby
Bad hoodoo from the Jessamine County Fair. Dark times. A champion laid low. On Wednesday, David L. Warner Jr., of Nicholasville, Ky., drove a beaut of a derby in the ultra-competitive small car class. Warner demolished many things on his way to the title. But instead of getting to enjoy his victory,...
Aaron Rodgers Does Not Think You Should Drive Drunk Or Uninformed About Car Insurance
Super Bowl XLV MVP Aaron Rodgers has spent a portion of his locked-out off-season in the company of David Gruber, a personal-injury attorney whose office number includes the word "HURT." Together, they've filmed a pair of commercials, the first of which urges Wisconsinites to enjoy "fun, festivals...
Mets Reliever Taylor Buchholz, On DL For Depression, Says He Felt Bad Crying To Another Man
Taylor Buchholz—who was actually decent in 26 relief innings for the Mets this year—is on the DL with depression. This is not altogether unusual: note Khalil Greene and Dontrelle Willis. What's unusual is the way Buchholz described his condition and the way AOL Patch explained his condition further....
Ryan Howard's RBI Total Does Not Make Him The Greatest Baseball Player In The Universe, Bill Conlin
Bill Conlin wrote something dumb today. In other news, the sun rose in the east. But we're not going to go after Bill Conlin, because it's been done. Instead we're going to try and put in the simplest terms possible why he and anyone else rejecting advanced statistics out of hand are being willfully...
Now Photographers Working The Home Run Derby Are Planking Too
We've tried to stay on top of this planking thing for you guys, because it's confusing and new and stressful. Last we dropped in on sports-based planking, some wealthy—but now unemployed—NBA stars got prone on ostentatious objects (Beamers, Benzes, or Bentleys, we cannot remember which)....
A Half-Assed Statistical Analysis Of The Half-Assed Home Run Derby's Half-Assed Announcing
Chris Berman said the word "BACK" 78 times last night, 66 of which were in reference to home runs. That's about .62 "BACK"s per homer, a figure we assume is much lower than in previous years. Here's a breakdown of each player's traditional and Berman statistics (distance data from MLB.com):...
Weak Grounder To Second Starts Nutso Minor League Brawl
Your gladiators: the Spokane Indians and Vancouver Canadian, Class A affiliates of the Rangers and Blue Jays respectively. Your catalyst: I dunno, probably someone saying something about someone's momma....
The Derby Featured A Diving Catch Into A Pool, And Not A Single Drop Of Beer Was Wasted
Our esteemed announcers preferred an earlier catch to this gentleman's play, but they fail to notice that on his dive, he manages to save his entire pint. This great nation will go to great lengths to ensure that we never waste a drop of an overpriced lager....
Your Home Run Derby Open Thread/Chris Berman Liveblog
Here's your Home Run Derby open thread. I will be live-blogging Chris Berman. And give us your best Berman nickname for a prize....
Bad Beats: Adrian Gonzalez Will Win Tonight's Home Run Derby
Hello, folks. Welcome back to Bad Beats, the column you visit for betting advice and sad tales of gambling woe. Read past Bad Beats here. Got any stories for us? Email us at [email protected]. Subject: Bad Beats....
Here's A Picture Of A Boob Getting Grabbed At Fenway
This photo comes from tipster Matthew M. who notes, "Jerry Remy and his broadcast partner lost their shit after the couples they were talking about got a little randy....
Oh Look, There Was Another Brawl At The D.C. Caribbean Carnival (Somewhat NSFW)
As opposed to the video posted, like, an hour ago, this brawl does not involve calls for titties. Rather, this "cArabian festival" footage drives home the point that, "If you're not on Howard University right now, you're not doing nothing." Fair enough....
Drunk Ohio Teacher Resists Arrest, Sprays Cops With Her Breastmilk
We're not sure we know the precise meaning of the term "hot mess," but this just has to be the perfect application. Meet Stephanie Robinette, 30, a lactating charter-school teacher from Westerville, Ohio (a Columbus suburb), who got drunk, disorderly, and weird over the weekend....
American Patriot Tim Howard Thinks Soccer Ceremonies In America Should Be Conducted In American English
Your morning roundup for June 26, a day after a man who lost his arm to a rocket in Afghanistan caught a foul ball....
Tennis Player Simona Halep Was Unhappy With Her Breasts
Serena Williams won her second round match against Simona Halep 3-6, 6-2, 6-1 yesterday. Afterward, the 19-year-old Halep spoke about her breasts, namely the decision to have them reduced....
Tennis Rallies Look Awesome When They're Made Of Racket String
We're a bit late on Richard Swarbrick's latest animation: This one, unlike the other work we've seen from him, is appropriately Wimbledon-themed. But it's still worth sharing: he took a single point from a single Wimbledon match and recreated it using racket strings. Of course he did! Swarbrick's ...