redskins Page 33 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

We Are All Dave McKenna CLXXXIX
Blame me, the fucking new guy, but this should have been in this morning's Wake Up Deadspin feature, as it has been pretty much every other day. Anyway, here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting every day until Snyder's du...

Noted Chubby Quarterback Makes Widely Derided Prediction
Rex Grossman is the No.1 quarterback on the Redskins' depth chart. I know that means close to absolute zero in the long term, but c'mon: read that first sentence again....

Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part VI: Robot Surrogates And The Abyss
Consider this your daily link to Dave McKenna's "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," but here it is again for good measure. We'll post this mother until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is frozen in amber so humans of the future can study the behavior of assholes in the 21st century. (For tho...

Dan Snyder Is Now Campaigning Against The Rights Of D.C. Residents To Govern Themselves
Dan Snyder's lawyers yesterday filed a brief in D.C. Superior Court as part of Snyder's dumbass legal jihad against the Washington City Paper. Snyder's lawsuit looks for all the world like a "strategic lawsuit against public participation." Even the ACLU thinks so. Such "SLAPP" suits are deployed by...

A Poem For Albert Haynesworth, Composed Solely Of Media Descriptions
Awful Albert, Abysmal Albert: Attitude-afflicted wash-up. Massive and huge and fat and lazy and difficult....

Brian Orakpo Is A Company Man, Although He Probably Shouldn't Be
Brian Orakpo can't quite find the words he's looking for. But the words he did give us help explain why the players didn't get more in the just-ended labor standoff....

Trent Williams Will Soon Be Wearing A $150,000 Silverback Gorilla Chain In The Club
One of Dan Steinberg's readers directed him to a video (see below) in which a jeweler shows off one of the more absurdly blingy items a professional athlete has ever commissioned. It's a black-and-white diamond encrusted silverback gorilla chain for Redskins tackle Trent "Silverback" Williams. Supp...

Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part V: Return To River Bend
We already posted your daily link to Dave McKenna's "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," but here it is again for good measure. We'll post this mother until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is nailed to a cross while dogs gnaw off its toes. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All...

Here's The Harry Potter-Referencing Legal Brief The ACLU Filed In The Dumbass Dan Snyder Libel Suit
The ACLU filed a brief yesterday in D.C. Superior Court slamming Dan Snyder for his dumbass libel lawsuit against the Washington City Paper and asking the court to toss out the case. D.C. councilmember Mary Cheh joined the brief, along with a raft of influential news organizations such as The Americ...

The First Casualty Of Dan Snyder's Dumbass Libel Suit Might Be Dan Snyder's Dumbass Lawyer
Failed journalist and wretched lawyer Dave Donovan announced today that he's leaving his job as Chief Operating Officer of the Redskins to return to the law firm whence he came (and where, ostensibly, lawyers can actually convince clients not to file dumbass lawsuits). Donovan attributes his decisio...

Redskins Force Kenny Chesney Upon Season Ticket Holders
A few months ago, the Redskins marketing department began the annual, Sisyphean task of convincing people to pay money to watch their team play football eight times. Realizing that this would be a tough sell, especially to those it had tricked before, it threw in a perk: people who renewed their pla...

Dan Snyder Subpoenas Washington Post Blogger For Linking To Washington City Paper Story
Oops, we almost forgot to post our daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be linking to until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit takes a Ceti Eel in the ear....

We Are All Dave McKenna CXI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit runs out of ways to die in this space....

Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part IV: Cooke And Bligle Jim Escape To The Potomac
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit chokes on a crab puff at a cocktail party. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All Dave McKenna CX.")...

We Are All Dave McKenna CIX
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit finds its way into the wood chipper....

We Are All Dave McKenna CVIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit self-immolates in shame....

We Are All Dave McKenna CVII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit succumbs to the evils of which Ray Lewis has foretold....

We Are All Dave McKenna CVI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit is forced to publicly apologize to every last person it has wronged in the name of ego gloryholeification....

Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part III: The Fetid Breath Of The Bligle
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit chokes on a crab puff at a cocktail party. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All Dave McKenna CV.")...

We Are All Dave McKenna CIV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel goes up in smoke....