ronaldlol Page 1 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Paulo Dybala Learns What It's Like To Play With Cristiano Ronaldo
Here is what would’ve been Paulo Dybala’s equalizing wondergoal in the last seconds of Juventus’s 2-1 loss to Young Boys in the Champions League yesterday, if only the referee hadn’t ruled it out for Cristiano Ronaldo’s offside interference, which maybe/probably wouldn’t have been called had Ronaldo...
Cristiano Ronaldo Is Glad He No Longer Plays With Selfish Assholes Like Cristiano Ronaldo
Cristiano Ronaldo obviously loves himself some Cristiano Ronaldo. But you know who Cristiano Ronaldo doesn’t love? Teammates who act like Cristiano Ronaldo....
Cristiano Ronaldo's New Goal Celebration Makes Him Look Like A Big Dweeb
Cristiano Ronaldo is not “cool.” It’s a little strange because he has many of the traits commonly associated with coolness—he’s famous, successful, cocky, handsome, has a body that looks like it was carved out of marble, has dated a number of the most gorgeous women in the world, etc.—and yet the ov...
Cristiano Ronaldo On Rejection Of Ban Appeal: "Injustices Will Never Bring Me Down"
Cristiano Ronaldo seems to think that everything bad that happens to Cristiano Ronaldo is proof of a vast worldwide conspiracy to besmirch the reputation of Cristiano Ronaldo. This explains why he would describe the Spanish tax authorities seeking to collect on some €15 million they believe he may h...
Cristiano Ronaldo's Hissy Fit Is Reportedly Almost Over
It hasn’t even been a full week since Cristiano Ronaldo’s camp began leaking to anyone who’d listen that he was done with Spain and had resolved to leave Real Madrid, a supposedly “irreversible” decision borne of his deep feelings of persecution because the Spanish government has taken issue with hi...
Sculptor Of Cristiano Ronaldo Bust: I, Like Jesus, Can't Please Everyone<em></em>
If art is supposed to be provocative, to generate questions and discussion and interest, then the bust of Cristiano Ronaldo unveiled outside the airport now named after him was a rousing success, even if it completely failed as an accurate representation of what Ronaldo actually looks like. You know...
Cristiano Ronaldo Honored With Hideous Bust That May Be Imbued With Dark Magic
The eyes! For the love of god, do not look into the eyes!...
Man, Cristiano Ronaldo Really Blew This One
Okay, okay, this isn’t quite a gimme goal here that Cristiano Ronaldo just missed. The angle was tough, and he had a lot to focus on with the keeper and defender right on top of him. Still, it was an open net, it would’ve been a hugely important goal in this second leg of Real Madrid’s Champions Lea...
Ex-Player Fears James Rodríguez Has Become A Whiny Little Brat By Hanging Around Ronaldo
Cristiano Ronaldo is exalted for a great many reasons. He’s also reviled and/or ridiculed for a few others, like his arrogance, his lack of sportsmanship, and his self-centeredness. One retired Colombian player is worried that a compatriot of his, James Rodríguez, has picked up a few too many of Ron...
Cristiano Ronaldo Played Like Shit Yesterday
The most shocking scoreline of yesterday’s round of Champions League matches was definitely the 3-3 draw between reigning European champions Real Madrid and Polish giants (but European minnows) Legia Warsaw. How could a team of Gareth Bale, Karim Benzema, and—above all—Cristiano Ronaldo fail to beat...
Ronaldo On His Biggest Influence (Himself), His Biggest Inspiration (Himself), And How He Craves The Hate
Man, Cristiano Ronaldo sure does love him some Cristiano Ronaldo. From representations of his well-chiseled body to his facially-imprecise but amply-bedicked statue, to a glorified home movie disguised as a feature film, and even to his own, apparently delicious crotch, it’s long been evident that R...
Salty-Ass Cristiano Ronaldo Flips Out After Teammate Laughs At Him
Regular human beings Danilo and Marcelo shared a laugh during Real Madrid training yesterday after the former did that funny little thing that sometimes happens during piggy-in-the-middle games and passed the ball between Cristiano Ronaldo’s legs. The cyborg Ronaldo must not have had his emotional c...
Hey, Cristiano Ronaldo Scored A Pretty Cool Goal!
Well, well, would you look at this. Global icon, all-time soccer great, and technological marvel (seriously, how did they make this android so convincingly human that it takes a solid 10 minutes or so of listening to him before you realize he was “born” in an evil scientist’s underground bunker?) Cr...
Brilliant Shithead Cristiano Ronaldo Had A Brilliant, Shitheaded Game Yesterday
As everyone knows, Cristiano Ronaldo is one of the greatest soccer players of all time. He’s also an obnoxious, petulant brat prone to sneaky acts of outright violence when he feels aggrieved. All sides of CR7 were on display during yesterday’s Real Madrid-Borussia Dortmund match....
Cristiano Ronaldo Named Best Player In Europe, Wins Creepy-Ass Trophy
Cristiano Ronaldo, the greatest soccer-playing cyborg ever made/animated, had a year to remember. First, he dragged Real Madrid to Champions League glory (pulling them through the least daunting field maybe ever, but hey, winning’s winning) in May. For his next feat, he stood on the sidelines with w...
The Newest Front In The Barcelona-Real Madrid Rivalry Is Photoshopping Ronaldo's Abs
For the motivated and inspired, there is a nearly unending list of things you can criticize and/or laugh at Cristiano Ronaldo about. One of the few things not on that list is disputing the chiseled nature of every inch of the man’s body. And yet a Catalan TV station tried exactly that when they snuc...
Ronaldo's Performance During Euro Final Was Like Christ's Victory Over Sin And Death, Says His Sister
Cristiano Ronaldo didn’t turn water into wine or rise from the dead or even play the vast majority of the Euro 2016 final Portugal won last weekend. But he did hurt his knee and cry, which was apparently enough for his sister to compare him to Christ on the cross....
Fed-Up Ronaldo Responds To Reporter's Question By Chucking Microphone Into Lake
So ... does this mean Cristiano Ronaldo is in fact ready for today’s big game?...
Cristiano Ronaldo Is Not Mad. This Is Actually Funny To Him.
Underwear mogul/ab demon Cristiano Ronaldo and his Portuguese teammates opened their Euro 2016 campaign against Iceland today. It was the tiny island’s first European Championship game ever, and they managed to come from behind and tie Portugal, 1-1. Portugal had 27 shots, 10 on goal, and 66 percent...
Cristiano Ronaldo's Son Trolled Him Again
It’s official now: Cristiano Ronaldo’s son already has the natural impulses of a seasoned troll, at only five years old. We knew about his huge fandom of Ronaldo’s biggest rival, Lionel Messi, we’ve seen him tweak his grandma along those same lines, and we’re pretty confident Junior knew what he was...