ronaldlol Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cristiano Ronaldo Deftly Controls His Balls
Cristiano Ronaldo, cover boy of the latest edition of GQ, can be seen in the video above simultaneously engaging in all of his great loves in life: playing with a soccer ball, wearing as little clothing as possible, shilling for a product, and having all of it recorded by the loving eye of the camer...
Cristiano Ronaldo's Sister Wants To Exile The People Who Vandalized Her Brother's Statue To Syria
The enormous, bronze, big-dicked statue that stands in honor of Cristiano Ronaldo in his home town was vandalized Monday, as some rascals painted Lionel Messi’s name on its back. Ronaldo’s sister had some very, very, very strong words for the culprits....
Cristiano Ronaldo's Movie Premiere Was Perfectly Sad
Early on in his review of the new movie/vanity project documenting a year in the life of Cristiano Ronaldo, Daniel Taylor noted “it is difficult not to come away with the feeling that Ronaldo must shout his own name during sex.”...
Report: Martin Scorsese Drops Cristiano Ronaldo From New Movie
Last month, Martin Scorsese reportedly cast Cristiano Ronaldo in his upcoming movie, The Manipulator, which is apparently about mega-rich Italian real estate agent Alessandro Proto. The Italian has claimed that he is, in fact, the inspiration for the titular Christian Grey of “Fifty Shades Of Grey.”...
Cristiano Ronaldo's Son Trolls His Grandma With Questions About Messi
Noted Lionel Messi superfan Cristiano Ronaldo Jr. got in some good digs on his superstar dad’s mom recently. While attending daddy Ronaldo’s award ceremony for his fourth Golden Boot, the little kid had some timely questions about Messi’s Balon d’Or collection. Granny was none too interested....
Cristiano Ronaldo Has A Great Time Getting Felt Up On Japanese TV
They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Apparently the aphorism applies a little differently to cyborgs. New evidence shows that a finger or five on Cristiano Ronaldo’s laser-cut abs turns him into a giggling schoolborg who will love you forever....
Ronaldo Shills Bullshit Workout Contraption In Ridiculous Commercial
I’m not saying Cristiano Ronaldo is a cyborg, and if he is he’s probably a benevolent one, but if this wild commercial for some weird, obviously scammy Japanese “exercise gear” isn’t really a behind-the-scenes look at Ronaldo’s morning boot-up process, I’ll buy this stuff and have a six pack in no t...
Cristiano Ronaldo Scoffs At Championship, Exults In His Own Ronaldoness
For pretty much everyone involved or invested in La Liga, the biggest opportunity on offer during yesterday’s penultimate match day of the season was, seemingly, for Barcelona to wrap up the league title by beating Atlético. Cristiano Ronaldo, though, had his eyes on a larger prize. While Barcelona ...
Cristiano Ronaldo And His Teammates Were Really, Really Sad About Losing
We all know how great Cristiano Ronaldo and his Real Madrid teammates are. But acknowledging that doesn’t preclude us from cackling maniacally when they lose, and especially at the distraught looks on their faces when it happens, like today against Juventus. So here are a bunch of pictures of just t...
Cristiano Ronaldo Shills Underwear With His Dong
Fresh off a couple great performances for Real Madrid, Cristiano Ronaldo posted a new picture of himself stumping for his underwear line, prominently featuring his favorite teammate. Here’s the full photo of his crotch in all its glory:...
Cristiano Ronaldo Reminds Us Why He's So Likable
In a weekend that saw Lionel Messi overtake Cristiano Ronaldo as the Spanish league's top scorer this season, Ronaldo can rest easy knowing his Argentine rival isn't likely to catch up to another one of his records: that of world's most-liked Facebook page. What makes him so beloved? Well, besides t...
Cristiano Ronaldo Sings, Drops It Like It's Hot At Birthday Party
Real Madrid’s crushing defeat at the hands of rivals Atlético almost put a damper on that night’s previously scheduled party in celebration of Cristiano Ronaldo turning 30. Almost. Instead of feeling too down, Cristiano decided to sing and boogie the night away. Here’s a GIF of his best move from th...
Cristiano Ronaldo Statue Features A Big Ol' Bulging Dick
Cristiano Ronaldo is, quite deservedly, an icon in his hometown of Funchal, Madeira, Portugal—so much so that he has a museum dedicated in his honor. This weekend, Ronaldo was on hand to witness the unveiling of a new statue made in his image. What can we say? The statue is sporting a huge erection....
Cristiano Ronaldo Gets Seriously Mad At Losing Meaningless Competition
Judging by Cristiano Ronaldo's legitimately pissed off response to his team losing what was supposed to be a friendly little contest at a sponsored event, we can add his name to the ranks of Michael Jordan, and other athletes who hate losing even something as small as a coin flip with a fervency u...
Book: Ronaldo Refers To Messi As "Motherfucker" Behind His Back
According to Cristiano Ronaldo, the constant comparisons to and ranking of him and Lionel Messi are slightly annoying but ultimately disregardable facts of life. According to a new book, though, Ronaldo takes the rivalry much more seriously and has a whole behind-the-scenes protocol for how he and h...
Cristiano Ronaldo Enjoys His Own Crotch, In Cake Form
Ah yes. We've reached the first anniversary of walking brand Cristiano Ronaldo's underwear line—which you may remember from our previous coverage. In celebration, Ronaldo's team has memorialized the occasion by baking him a cake. Of his bulging crotch....
Ronaldo's Facial Fitness Commercial Is Inexplicable, Perfect
Have you been looking for a way to achieve maximum facial tone that doesn't make you feel so bored and tired? Isn't it time you had a way to be happy with your facial fitness without all the hassle? There have probably been dozens of scientists with degrees in science-related fields who have long ar...
This Ronaldo GIF Is Stupefying, Perfect
There is surely an explanation, but just watch this for one moment, unadulterated by context, and enjoy it. It's wonderful. The inexplicable behavior from the host and Ronaldo's 1,000-yard stare momentarily interrupted by a blink that says what the actual fuck? Amazing....
Cristiano Ronaldo's Crying Face, In Extreme Slow Motion
We waited four years for important moments like this, so we're extending it as long as possible....