sad Page 10 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How Did Jorge Posada Become A First-Ballot Hall Of Fame Washout?
Amid the arguing over this year’s Hall of Fame, one of the weirder potential results involves no argument at all. Unless there’s a dramatic and unexpected late break in the voting, Jorge Posada—who as of this afternoon appeared on 10 of 239 known ballots in the ballot tracker—is going to miss the fi...
Why Does Triathlon Have Such A Clean Image?
It is almost impossible to believe that cycling, track and field, and swimming aren’t rife with doping. A large swath of top cyclists have tested positive for PEDs or admitted doping; track and field had state-sponsored doping programs in Eastern Germany, China, and Russia, along with hundreds of ot...
Nike Joins The Quest For A Sub Two-Hour Marathon
In a brilliant height-of-the-Christmas-sales-season marketing move, Nike announced via two breathless press releases, in Runner’s World and Wired, that they are entering the sub two-hour marathon game. ...
It's Always Nice To Get Another Peek At LeBron James's Genius
The “LeBron as cyborg” trope may get old with repetition, but it’s also just ... true? It is true. We’ve been presented with more evidence that he is a post-human basketball genius than otherwise. And while it’s hard to add anything truly novel to the conversation about James, it does happen occasio...
Browns Charge Job-Seekers Up To $105 To Enter Useless "Career Fair"<em></em>
The Cleveland Browns hosted a career fair last weekend that, in keeping with the Browns’ reputation, did not actually offer many jobs, and left multiple paid attendees feeling cheated....
<i>Thursday Night Football</i> Commercial: Folks, Remember The Freakin' Dress?!?
The NFL has been dealing with low television ratings all season, and people have all sorts of theories about why that is. One theory that the NFL itself seems to buy into is that the league isn’t doing enough to appeal to meme enthusiasts, because I can’t imagine why else this commercial was created...
Dipshits Who Allegedly Burglarized DeMarcus Ware's House Caught On Security Camera
Broncos linebacker DeMarcus Ware returned home from Monday night’s game against the Houston Texans to discover that his house had been burglarized. Ware was understandably upset, but was also comforted by the fact that his house was equipped with hidden cameras....
The Cleveland Browns Are A Sick Joke
In the process of getting whooped by the Patriots today, the Browns cycled through three quarterbacks. It feels like every week, you hear that the Browns have hit a new low, and again, this week, the Browns hit a new low....
Tiger Woods Is Now Golf's Washed-Up Uncle
Tiger Woods is still too old and fucked up to play golf, but he is capable of serving as a vice captain for the United States’ Ryder Cup team. Somebody forgot to tell Tiger that vice captains aren’t allowed to be in the team photo:...
Giannis Antetokounmpo Is Not So Great At Jokes
Giannis Antetokounmpo is a 21-year-old who just signed a $100 million contract, so you can imagine why he might have been feeling a little giddy heading into NBA media day. He was feeling so good, in fact, that he began his session with reporters by firing off a joke that would have made even the la...
I Respect <i>American Ninja Warrior's</i> Complete Lack Of Mercy
I don’t watch American Ninja Warrior all that often, but every time I do I find myself enjoying it far more than I expected. Last night, NBC aired Week 1 of the National Finals, and it was a rad time. Bunches of seasoned competitors were undone by a particularly difficult course, and Jessie Graff be...
Is This Tristan Thompson's Dick Or What?
This afternoon, Tristan Thompson posted a photo on Twitter posing with the Larry O’Brien trophy at a Tim Hortons. But you may notice another large object....
Defending Gold Medalist Diver Scores A Perfect Zero
Ilia Zakharov won the gold medal in the 3m springboard event at the 2012 Olympics. He made it all the way to the semi-finals at this year’s games, and that’s where his quest to win back-to-back golds went very wrong....
Nick Diaz Argues With Drug Tester, Invites Her To Smoke Weed With Him
Exemplar of human possibility Nick Diaz hasn’t been back from his 18-month suspension long, but he’s already reprised his role as UFC shit-stirrer supreme. ESPN had him on right after his suspension was lifted, and he immediately disparaged any and all of his welterweight and middleweight competitor...
Accept Your Mediocrity (I'm Fine!)<em></em>
There comes a time in your life when you realize that you are a fairly mediocre human being. You can try to rectify some aspects of the situation—exercise or whatever—but there is little you can actually do to outrun your own unremarkableness. (You can’t outrun it because you’re out of shape.)...
Prince Fielder's Retirement Press Conference Was Sad As Hell
Rangers slugger Prince Fielder has been forced to retire from baseball at age 32. Fielder, who has been struggling at the plate this year, recently underwent his second spinal fusion surgery in the last three years, and doctors have told him that he is no longer physically capable of playing basebal...
Two Punters Dead In Wisconsin Car Accident
Nebraska punter Sam Foltz and former Michigan State punter Mike Sadler are dead after an an auto accident this weekend in Wisconsin, where the pair were attending a weekend kicking camp....
Brock Lesnar Flagged For Anti-Doping Violation
Brock Lesnar has been flagged by USADA for a doping violation related to a sample taken June 28, less than two weeks before the UFC and WWE star defeated Mark Hunt at UFC 200....
Wimbledon Line Judge Goes For Fist Bumps, Is Rudely Denied
It’s Wimbledon, man. Everyone’s excited. I’m excited, you’re excited, and so is this line judge who wants to get the pre-match juices flowing with a few well-struck fist bumps:...
The Agony
Have something you think we should know? Email us at [email protected], or contact our writers directly, or use our SecureDrop system. You can also follow us on Twitter, like us on Facebook, and sign up for our newsletter!...