sad Page 29 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
You, Dim PR Person, Are Dumb And Should Be Fired, Part 5: Salisbury Edition
PR people are dumb. Not all of them, just some of them. Like this thoughtful individual repping "Voice America Radio" who forwarded us (and many, many sports-affiliated sites) this update on their new client — Sean Salisbury. Sigh....
This Sorority Gal Did Not Take South Carolina's Loss Well
Bad to worse: first the Gamecocks lost to Kentucky last month. Then she gets a camera shoved in her crying face. Now she's (Internet) famous for it....
Raiders Still Making The Youth Of America Cry
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Andy Reid Plans To Start Some Sort Of Super Quarterback This Weekend
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: walrus doppelganger and Eagles coach Andy Reid....
Will Someone Please Help Jose Canseco Get His Decorative Light Fixtures Back?
There is so much compressed sadness in this one tweet that I think we can now upgrade Jose Canseco from professional sad sack to existential hero. I mean, at this point would you be at all surprised if his next tweet were, "woke up from uneazy dreams now ima bug ,help"?...
"ITS 2 AM, SO I WILL END WITH DISGUST FOR YOUR AWFUL BEHAVIOR," And Other Emails About The U.S. Open
Well, our little rant about the festival of ineptitude that was the television coverage of the U.S. Open men's final seemed to touch a nerve....
Do You Believe In Owning A Sad, Bedridden Ex-Hockey Player's Cherished Keepsake? Yes!
A gold medal that once belonged to Mark Wells, the last player selected for the 1980 "Miracle on Ice" hockey team, now laid low by a genetic disease of the spinal cord, is going up for auction. [Puck Daddy]...
Florida Man Has Scarred Elderly Couple For Life Because He Keeps Fucking Their Horses
Best line from this fascinating news report via WCTV comes courtesy of Priscilla McDearmid: "I don't even like to have the dog out at night lately because we don't know if that man is standing over there in the corner somewhere watching."...
Jayhawks AD Spreads His Wings With Style
In Lew Perkins' defense, he does look like big smooth bird who just gets what Orville and Wilbur were going for....
Is Jorge Posada a Stone-Cold Killer?
Here's slo-mo footage of the Yankees catcher's home-run yesterday at whatever field the Kansas City Royals "play" on....
Help This Desperate Man Choose The Worst Karaoke Song Ever
Greetings, cretins. We have an email request from a reader who's going through a rough patch. He wants off this hellish treadmill immediately. He will achieve this by...singing awful karaoke in a bar in Huron, Ohio. Guide him....
Lovable Psychic Octopus To Be Exploited Further
Paul the Octopus—prognosticating scamp and cephalopod—won our hearts during the World Cup. His ability to pick mussels has landed him a print advertising campaign for a supermarket chain. The ad, pictured, roughly translates to "Where they buy today? Good decision."...
What Would Happen If You Drank 13 Beers While Running The San Francisco Half-Marathon?
Everything you'd expect, really: puking, dizziness, drunk-plus-runner's-high euphoria, disgusted stares from onlookers. But this young man did it. Why? BECAUSE HE THOUGHT HE COULD. [Exercising While Intoxicated]...
David Robinson Spotted In His Natural Habitat: Comic-Con
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
This Is Not Pete Rose's Corked Bat
MLB's all-time hits leader, who's not allowed to step foot into Cooperstown because he's an awful human being, keeps popping up places with his girlfriend — "the Pamela Anderson of Korea" — to show her off to people. [MyFoxNY]...
Zab Judah Meets The Polish Posse: Everybody Needs An Entourage
NEWARK — Upon arriving at the Prudential Center here last Friday night for a boxing match, I was greeted by an unboxinglike sight: dozens of fans clad in identical t-shirts and matching red and white scarves, pouring off a white chartered bus....
Fan-Burning-LeBron-Jersey Videos Are The New Fan-Screaming-In-Front-Of-TV Videos
Cleveland is having its very own Guy Fawkes Day right now. If you see any more of these out there, do let us know. [via @TreyKerby]...
Cleveland Fans React With Usual Grace And Tact
The message boards at CavFanatic, the largest Cavaliers fansite, are currently an apocalyptic wasteland, where not even hope will sprout through the salted earth. Here are some of the best comments, helpfully sorted into three categories:...
Young Fan's Interference Leads To Mariners Loss, Priceless Expressions Of Wounded Innocence
In the eighth inning last night, Russell Branyan hit a chopper down the line that rolled into foul territory and was picked up by a teenager—preventing Ichiro from tying the game. Watch the young man's excitement turn to horror. [MLB.com]...
Relive The Ghanian PK Miss Over And Over Again
During stoppage time — in overtime, no less — Uruguay's Luis Suarez was left with no choice but to commit a handball violation. Asamoah Gyan, who had made two PKs during the World Cup already, took it. He missed....