sam Page 90 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Man With Rotting, Cancerous Penis Claims Surgeon Removed Rotting, Cancerous Penis Without Permission
"[Phillip, penis-less man]Seaton's lawyer, Kevin George, told the jury during opening arguments that his client doesn't feel like a man. He showed the jury four photographs of Seaton's groin saying, "You can see there's nothing there." Four photographs seems excessive. [Jackson Sun]...
Don't Worry, Carlos Zambrano: Ozzie Guillen And White Sammy Sosa Have Your Back
CSN Chicago reports that Zambrano—whom the Cubs suspended for 30 days, due to a big ol' meltdown—received text messages of support from Guillen and Sosa....
Monday Morning NASCAR Is The Best NASCAR
This is how we like our Sprint Cup: on a road course, and at a time we're supposed to be working....
Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: The Annihilation Of The Self Into A Greater Cosmos
Veteran pitcher Bartolo Colon resumed his philosophical explorations yesterday afternoon, facing the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Angels! Emissaries of the divine! But Colon met the Halos with yet another stolid performance: 6.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 3 K. One more no-decision, in one more eventual Yankees...
It Sure Looks As If One Mexican Soccer Player Had Some Bowel Issues Tonight
Tonight's big winner in the US/Mexico friendly in Philadelphia? Well, nobody. The match ended in a draw. Tonight's big loser? No. 9 on the Mexican side, who is probably wishing that they'd gone with the white shirt/green shorts kit....
Here's Video Of Oribe Peralta's Goal That Has Mexico Leading The US At Halftime
In the 17th minute, with the son of the former USMNT coach marking him, Mexico forward Oribe Peralta capitalized on a cross from Andres Guardado. Pretty goal. The U.S. has yet to score its new coach. Second half about to begin....
Your Jurgen Klinsmann USMNT Debut Open Thread
Tonight marks the official Ascension of Jurgen Klinsmann to the helm of a U.S. Men's National Team struggling to find itself....
Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: Hard Work Is Rewarded
Bartolo Colon, the Yankees' veteran pitcher and repository of ultimate philosophical truths, battled once more against entropy and meaninglessness on Saturday. Also against the Baltimore Orioles. A hit batsman and an error behind him put Colon on the ropes in the first inning, but he struck out Mark...
Samaki Walker Got Pulled Over With Weed And Steroids, So He Tried To Eat The Weed
The Mavs took Samaki Walker ninth overall in 1996, between Kerry Kittles and Erick Dampier, four picks before Kobe Bryant, and six before Steve Nash. Walker hasn't seen any NBA game action since December 2005, so you don't need Jay Bilas to point out that he's a bust. He's played in Russia, Syria, C...
Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: Wonders Are Still Unceasing
Yesterday, the New York Yankees' veteran salvage-heap starter — and barometer of existential significance — took the mound against the Oakland Athletics. How did he (and by extension, all humankind) fare? 7.0 IP, 8 H, 2 R, 4 K. Joy reigns once more, till the next time....
Kim Kardashian Files $20M Lawsuit Over Ad Featuring Ex-Boyfriend Reggie Bush's Kardashian-Lookalike Current Girlfriend
Yesterday, a woman who built a "reality star" career from a sex tape that turned her ass into a household name filed suit against a clothing store for featuring a woman who built an "Old Navy commercial star" career from looking like the woman with the sex-tape ass. Fun fact: reality star is New O...
What Does Bartolo Colon Mean Today?
Life is a small sample. So what are the metaphysical implications of the most recent game pitched by the Yankees' 38-year-old fourth starter? After July 14 (0.2 IP, 8 H, 6 R, 0 K), "Defeat had simply taken wonder's place." Last night? 6.1 IP, 5 H, 3 R, 9 K. Wonder is back!...
Packers DB Sam Shields Gets Giant, Painful-Looking Super Bowl Ring Tattooed On His Neck
Super Bowl winners receive championship rings—expensive, garish things—but they're tangible. You can hang on to your triumph through karats....
Alas, Mardy Fish: American Tennis Rots From The Head Down
There was a single American remaining in the quarterfinals at Wimbledon this year, and his name was Mardy Fish. His is never a name that inspires confidence or even optimism in tennis fans in the United States, most of whom are still lamenting the retirement of Pete Sampras a decade ago. Fish lost t...
Here's Video Of Giovani Dos Santos's Gold Cup Goal That Finished The Americans Off
With remarkable placement and touch, young Giovani Dos Santos scored the final goal of the Gold Cup tournament. It gave Mexico a 4-2 lead that they would keep until the final whistle. Here's a link to video of Pablo Edson Barrera's goal that gave Mexico a 3-2 lead....
Your Gold Cup Finals Open Thread
At stake in tonight's Gold Cup final between the soccer teams of the United States of America and Mexico is a berth in the 2013 Confederation Cup. And bragging rights. And all that. Granted, the USA pretty much dominates El Tri in the land of the free, but Mexico's got itself a worthy side. Then a...
A Thrashers Fan Surrounded By Winnipeg Jets Fans At The Draft Tries To Mask His Pain With Smiles, Beers
Your morning roundup for June 25, the day Wade Boggs introduces you to Deputy Stanley, a dimwitted yokel who does battle with Swamp Shark....
Now Detroit Also Wants To Hire Isiah Thomas
Yes, the story's from Chris Broussard, so we should take it with a Dead Sea's worth of salt, but it looks like things might get a whole lot worse for the poor folks of Detroit....
Marlins President Talks About His Penis Pump, Porn, Being Careful About What You Say On Twitter
Logan Morrison is one of baseball's most prolific tweeters, and some of his vaguely salacious tweets have landed him in vaguely hot water with management. David Samson, Marlins President, had this to say:...
Ronaldinho's Website Subjected To Only Known Bin Laden/Jar Jar Binks-Themed Hack Ever
On Friday, Ronaldinho's agent realized that the Flamengo star's personal website had been hacked, and that probably all eight visitors to the site that day had seen the offensive adjustments: Ronaldinho, paired with photos of Jar Jar Binks and Osama bin Laden. The hacker, "TeRoRisTe_Mc," is apparent...