screamer Page 105 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Chaco Giménez Shoots From Goddamn Jupiter, Scores
If Alessandro Florenzi’s wondergoal in September came from Mars, Chaco Giménez’s strike from even further out can only be described as originating from the next planet back....
![Former British Olympian And Diehard Arsenal Fan Did Not React Well To Yesterday's Loss [Update: This Didn't Happen]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/mw6anxnnu0dvkfwaz6cl.jpg)
Former British Olympian And Diehard Arsenal Fan Did Not React Well To Yesterday's Loss [Update: This Didn't Happen]
Update [11:01 a.m.]: Turns out, the tweeted picture showing the remote in the TV was a joke and not actually a picture of Sotherton’s TV. Sorry for the error. The original post is below....
Clint Dempsey Bends Long-Range Free Kick Perfectly Into The Top Corner
Clint Dempsey opened the scoring in Tuesday’s CONCACAF Champions League quarterfinal between the Seattle Sounders and Mexico’s Club América with this prodigious free kick:...
Barcelona Beat Arsenal Because They Have Lionel Messi
Okay, so it wasn’t just because Barcelona had Lionel Messi and Arsenal didn’t that the reigning Champions League title holders beat Arsenal today, even if the Argentine did account for both goals in the likely tie-deciding 2-0 scoreline. Unlike some of his most transcendent performances—like, say, h...
Stupid Little Piece Of Metal Bounces Valencia Youth Team From Tournament
Valencia and Chelsea met today in the UEFA Youth League, which is basically the Kiddie Champions League. The Round of 16 match came down to penalties, and Chelsea were declared winners after scoring all five of their spot kicks. Problem is, Valencia never actually missed any of their penalties, eith...
Carlos Tévez Breaks Goalkeeper's Jaw With A Flying Knee To The Face
Now this isn’t as bad as the last time we saw Carlos Tévez breaking bones on a soccer pitch, seeing as that shin-snapper was on account of a horrible and late tackle while this jaw-smasher looks like a complete accident, but this is a streak Tévez probably doesn’t want to extend. Here’s the video:...
The FIFA Election Is Already Very Silly
FIFA will hold its presidential election to replace Sepp Blatter on Friday. Well, Friday unless candidate Prince Ali Bin al-Hussein gets his way. Prince Ali has gone to the international Court of Arbitration for Sport in an attempt to postpone the election because he wants transparency. And transpar...
The Manchester United Backroom Power Struggle Theory We Desperately Hope Is True
There’s simply never enough intrigue and entertainment to be had from Manchester United to fully sate our appetite. Either they’re crushing all opponents at home and abroad, as they did during Alex Ferguson’s tenure, or they’re shitting all over themselves, the way they have in the few years since S...
Dimitri Payet Is Still An Animal
This isn’t even a dedicated Dimitri Payet individual highlight video and yet it’s still composed almost entirely of West Ham’s superstud going all best mode all over Blackburn in the FA Cup this weekend. And that’s because any time the Hammers do something cool, you can bet Payet will be at the cent...
Sorry, Edin Džeko, But The Post Can't Explain How You Missed That Wide-Open Net
“Post, baby, how are you gonna do me like that?” Roma’s Edin Džeko appears to whisper to the goal’s woodwork after his horrendous miss. “You know I love you, Edin,” the post probably responded, “but that’s all on you.”...
Can A Referee Get Sent Off By A Red Card? One Player Investigates
Trabzonspor defender Salih Dursun is a man of principle. Entirely dissatisfied with the quality of refereeing on display in a match against Galatasaray, he decided to take action....
Fifth-Division English Team Orchestrates Ornate Free-Kick Routine That Goes Exactly Nowhere
It’s not surprising that, deep down in England’s fifth division and without a David Beckham-like free kick specialist to whip one into the top corner, a team like Cheltenham Town would resort to trickeration to fool the goalkeeper on this set play. It’s just as unsurprising, then, what ultimately ca...
Shut Up, We Can Do This
Last night was the draw for the Copa America Centenario, this summer’s tournament bringing together the best of North and South America, and as hosts, the U.S. had reason to hope for a favorable draw. It really could not have gone much worse. ...
Silvio Berlusconi, Who Somehow Still Owns A.C. Milan, Said Some Racist Shit About Mario Balotelli
Silvio Berlusconi, bunga bunga party alumnus and the only crustacean to serve as prime minister of Italy, has been convicted of paying for sex with an underaged prostitute and tax fraud, and he’s been accused of a truly expansive list of other crimes. Berlusconi was buddies with Muammar Gaddafi, is ...
Volkswagen-Sponsored Wolfsburg Fine Nicklas Bendtner For Posting A Photo Of Himself With A Benz
Nicklas Bendtner has always been, let’s say, a vibrant character. A few years ago, he whipped his dick out and tried to hump a taxi, UEFA fined for wearing the wrong underwear, and he’s been arrested for trying to kick down a door in his own apartment building because he wanted to go swimming. Bendt...
Thomas Müller Scored Himself A Clean Little Half-Bicycle Kick Goal
Thomas Müller has, apparently, been reading the pamphlets and watching the tapes. The move in 2016, it seems, is knocking the ball down to yourself and spinning about while scoring. Christine Sinclair did it. Dele Alli did it. And it wasn’t as pretty as the Canadian or the Englishman, but Thomas Mül...
PSV Defender Promises To Eat Atlético Madrid Like His Soup, Which He Then Burns His Mouth On
PSV will play host to Atlético Madrid and the best defense in Europe next week, but new PSV defender Nicolas Isimat-Marin ain’t scared. He declared in a video interview with the team’s YouTube page that he was going to eat Los Rojiblancos like soup....
Hot Damn, Check Out This Christine Sinclair Golazo
Canada and Costa Rica are playing each other in Olympic Qualifiers right now, and Christine Sinclair put Canada up 2-0 with this beauty. This ain’t quite Christen Press’s once-in-a-lifetime first touch, but it’s awful damn good. Poor Costa Rica just keeps getting golazo’d on....
Manchester United Are Toast
With a third of the Premier League season left, Manchester United find themselves in fifth place, six points behind Manchester City and the all-important fourth Champions League spot. It’s not impossible for United to pass City, but given their inconsistency this season it’s unlikely....
Aritz Aduriz Thumps The Bejesus Out Of Ball, Scores From Way Too Far Out
If you ever wanted to know how hard one could kick a soccer ball and yet still maintain the necessary control to steer it goalwards, this volleyed goal Athletic Club’s Aritz Aduriz just scored is a good case study:...