screamer Page 130 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
USWNT Reach Their Potential, Beat Germany 2-0
It took six games, but against Germany, the number one ranked team in the world, the USWNT finally showed how well they can play. They got a very big break from a blown call for their first goal, but the Americans played better throughout the match and deserved their victory....
An Ode to Sydney Leroux's Eyelashes
Everywhere I go, people are talking trash about Sydney Leroux’s fake eyelashes. To be fair, I’ve been in Canada, where she’s particularly reviled. I get it, she turned her back on you, Canada. You’re hurt. But through the pain, I beg you, do not bring her eyelashes into this. Because let’s be real: ...
How The USWNT Can Beat Germany
So here we are, at the semifinals of the 2015 FIFA Women’s World Cup. There have been upsets, trash talk, and general FIFA-inflicted incompetence. After Germany escaped France last weekend, and the United States of America triumphed over China, this match between the world’s two top-ranked teams pro...
Inept FIFA Forces Women's World Cup Opponents To Share Hotel
Numerous times during the preparation for and staging of the 2015 Women’s World Cup, FIFA has made it clear that they don’t really give a shit about the women or teams involved. Here is another example. ...
"An Absolute Glitterbomb": Chile Takes Lead On Long-Distance <i>Golazo</i>
Chile launched Estadio Nacional into ecstasy when Edu Vargas landed an unreal screamer to put the host side up 2-1 on Peru just minutes after Gary Medel had equalized for the Peruvians in the Copa America semifinal. As you might expect, it sent beIN announcer Ray Hudson into orgasmic screams....
Spain Files Legal Appeal Against Qatar's Winter World Cup
Before Swiss agents rolled up on Zurich’s Baur au Lac hotel, snatched a handful of top FIFA execs, and put in motion the series of events that would culminate in their president’s resignation, soccer’s governing body seemed pretty much omnipotent. That day has changed, thankfully, and people are mak...
FIFA Screwed France Out Of The Tournament, And It's Bullshit
Immediately following France’s loss to Germany in the Women’s World Cup quarterfinal, a rightfully frustrated Camille Abily lashed out at FIFA’s seeding protocols. As anyone who bothered to look ahead could see, those teams—probably the two best in the world—were always on a collision course at that...
Paraguayan Soccer Player Wins Game On PK, Uncle Dies Of Heart Attack
Paraguay put down Brazil in the Copa America last night, winning on penalties after Derlis Gonzalez equalized on a penalty in the second half and converted the deciding goal in the shootout. Reportedly, in the excitement of watching the winning shot, his 44-year-old uncle died of a heart attack. ...
Japan Score Scruffy Goal From A Corner, Progress To World Cup Semifinal
Look, they won’t all be wondrous moves drenched with class, genius, and magic pixie dust. But a winner is a winner, and Japan finally got theirs near the very end of their quarterfinal matchup against Australia....
Arda Turan Wants To Leave Atlético Because The Coach Makes Him Run A Lot
“To earn more for doing less,” Marca’s report on Atlético Madrid’s unsettled Turkish star begins. “It is many people’s dream and among them, apparently, is Arda Turan.” And while the reality of his discontent isn’t quite that tidy, it’s basically accurate....
French Player Slams FIFA: "They Have To Stop Taking Us For Idiots"
As undeniably awesome as last night’s France-Germany match was, it was complete and utter bullshit that these two teams were forced to meet in the quarterfinals. Far from being an unforeseen, unlucky occurrence, this is exactly as FIFA planned it. And France’s Camille Abily, for one, is none too hap...
France Built The World's Best Women's Soccer Team And Still Lost
Not even a minute into last night’s highly-anticipated, criminally-premature title fight that was France vs. Germany, Les Bleues were off on one of their typical jaunts towards goal, one that exemplified everything that makes them such a special team....
Spain's Women's Team Is A Catastrophe, And It Doesn't Need To Be
In the week since the players for the Spanish women’s national team released their open letter requesting the firing of manager Ignacio Quereda, more and more has come to light about just how officious and reprehensible his leadership has been over the entirety of his 27 years in charge....
Sepp Blatter Out Here Like "Hold Up. Who Said Anything About <i>Resigning</i>?"
Is Sepp Blatter just insane or what? That’s about the only question that comes to mind when you hear that, yes, as reports hinted at a couple weeks ago, ol’ Sepp doesn’t actually plan on relinquishing his grasp of the FIFA presidency any time soon—this time coming from the man himself....
Evil Soccer Man Sticks His Fingers Up Opponent's Butthole
What part of “you can’t use your hands” don’t you get, Gonzalo Jara? And Cavani was the one who got sent off? There’s no justice in this world....
Liverpool Don't Deserve Raheem Sterling
Here’s our daily exercise in keeping competing thoughts in our heads at the same time. European soccer has become player ruled. Particularly in the post-Chelsea, post-Manchester City era, there’s more money sloshing around in the top league than many entire nations. There’s no loyalty to club and no...
Japan Scored The Best WWC Goal I've Ever Seen With My Own Two Eyes
This is just, wow....