screamer Page 131 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Landon Donovan's Goal Was The Start Of Something Great
As we wait with increasingly dwindling patience for the U.S. women to get their shit together, I thought we could all do with some happy America fuzzy-memory time. June 23, 2010, five years ago today, Landon Donovan’s World Cup stoppage-time goal saved the USMNT from elimination, won them the group,...
Abby Wambach Wonders If The Ref Was Out To Get The USWNT
Midfielders Lauren Holiday and Megan Rapinoe racked up yellow cards in the first half of the U.S.’s 2-0 win over Colombia, and that’s bad news: because each was already sitting on a yellow from earlier in the World Cup, they’ll miss Friday’s quarterfinal match against China. They were the only two p...
Wambach Blows PK After Colombian Keeper Sent Off; U.S. Score Anyway
Abby Wambach botched a penalty kick awarded after Colombian keeper Catalina Pérez earned a red card for bringing Alex Morgan down on the inside edge of the box, and a lackluster performance by the U.S. seemed to have its lacklustiest moment until a lucky break when Morgan snuck one past replacement ...
England Fight Back Against Norway, Advance With Late Thunderbastard Goal
If you’re going to send a country home, this is how you send them on their way....
FIFA's Savior Has Thrown His Hat Into The Ring, And His Name Is Maradona
With all the turmoil surrounding FIFA in recent months and the power vacuum soon to be created once Sepp Blatter finally relinquishes the reins on his Empire, soccer will need a smooth, steady, experienced set of hands to guide the sport out from the pits of controversy and back into the light. And ...
France Score Super Sweet Goal, Are Jumping All Over South Korea
They—dumb people—say that 2-0 is the most dangerous lead in soccer. This is wrong, and it is even wronger when the team leading 2-0 is styling on the other. In the first half of their World Cup round-of-16 match, right now, France are styling on South Korea....
Australia Shock Brazil, Knock Them Out Of The World Cup With Late Goal
Holy shit. Holy shit! Brazil are out of the World Cup! Australia are through to the quarterfinals!...
Germany Kill Off Sweden With Sliding Circus Shot Goal
And thus the German machine charges on. Germany dominated Sweden for nearly the entire 90 minutes in the Round of 16, save a brief spell late on when, leading 3-0, Sweden threatened to make a game of it by scoring once and spurning a golden 1 v. 1 with the keeper. Nevertheless, Germany came right ba...
Spain Players Call Out Poor WWC Preparation, Request Manager's Firing
There’s no better proof of Spain’s lack of respect for women’s soccer than the continued employment of head coach Ignacio Quereda. Despite never qualifying for the Olympics, never qualifying for the World Cup prior to this one, and only even making it to the Euro Championship finals twice in 27 year...
Colombia's Star Player Is Ramping Up The Shit Talk Ahead Of USWNT Game
Colombia aren’t afraid of anybody. They weren’t afraid of France (who they beat in the group stage), they weren’t afraid of England (who they lost to while still looking pretty damn good), and after making it to the Round of 16 and drawing one of the tournament’s favorites, they aren’t afraid of the...
A Goalie Goal For The Portland Thorns!
Even with most of the league’s star players busy with that little event in Canada right now, the NWSL has continued unabated. In German keeper Nadine Angerer’s absence, Michelle Betos has stepped up for the Portland Thorns, saving goals and even scoring the tying one herself deep into stoppage time ...
Neymar Suspended For The Rest Of Copa América
Yesterday, we lamented the preliminary two-match suspension handed down to Neymar because of his actions at the end of the Brazil-Colombia game. We now know for (almost) certain that we have seen the last of Brazil’s stud for the Copa América, as his suspension has been increased to four games....
What's Up With The Big Six At The Women's World Cup?
Colombia toppled France. Norway drew Germany. Cameroon, well, Camerooned. This year’s Women’s World Cup group stage was undoubtedly the most thrilling of the modern era. There were upsets and Cinderella stories, agony and ecstasy. No more do the Goliaths automatically rule over the Davids....
MLS Makes Some Shit Up, Suspends Clint Dempsey For Three Games
Earlier this week, Clint Dempsey received a red card for tearing up a referee’s notebook in protest of what he thought was some poor officiating in a U.S. Open Cup match. Today, MLS doled out its punishment, suspending him from all competitions for three games....
Norwegian Women's Soccer Players Explain Why Women's Soccer Sucks
Judging from some of the comments on our Women’s World Cup coverage, this video should be right up your alley. Turns out, you and Stephen A. were right!...
Neymar Given Two-Match Suspension For Shenanigans After Colombia Loss
Colombia beat Brazil 1-0 last night in the Copa América, Los Cafeteros’ first win over the South American giants since 1991. But instead of the impressiveness of the feat (and Brazil’s continued struggles) taking center stage, the kerfuffle that broke out after the final whistle has overshadowed the...
Spain's Goalkeeper Mortified After Giving Up World Cup-Ending Goal
Yeah, that has to suck....
This Goal Amandine Henry Just Scored For France Is Three Fire Emoji
Earlier, we talked about how France were beating the crap out of Mexico, because they led 4-0 at the break. They slowed down a little bit in what was looking like a disappointing second half. And then French midfielder Amandine Henry did this....
English Keeper Flattens Colombian, Robbing Us Of A Brilliant Team Goal
We have a soft spot in our hearts for scrappy little Colombia, who entered this group as long shots but have impressed with the overflowing technical ability of their players. So you can understand our frustration as Las Cafeteras were all set to cap off the team goal of the tournament before the En...
Leicester City Sacks Stars Following Orgy Investigation
Former Leicester City Football Club players Tom Hopper, Adam Smith and James Pearson can’t say they didn’t go out on top. LCFC announced today that each member of the trio—who infamously livened up the team’s “goodwill” visit to Thailand with an orgy filled with racist remarks—have had their contrac...