screamer Page 132 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
English Keeper Flattens Colombian, Robbing Us Of A Brilliant Team Goal
We have a soft spot in our hearts for scrappy little Colombia, who entered this group as long shots but have impressed with the overflowing technical ability of their players. So you can understand our frustration as Las Cafeteras were all set to cap off the team goal of the tournament before the En...
Leicester City Sacks Stars Following Orgy Investigation
Former Leicester City Football Club players Tom Hopper, Adam Smith and James Pearson can’t say they didn’t go out on top. LCFC announced today that each member of the trio—who infamously livened up the team’s “goodwill” visit to Thailand with an orgy filled with racist remarks—have had their contrac...
Director Of Terrible FIFA Movie Rues His New Rep As A Propaganda Man
Frédéric Auburtin had the misfortune of directing the colossal flop that was United Passions, the movie about and paid for by FIFA. And while directing an awful movie itself can usually be brushed off pretty easily, the recent scandal has inflicted lasting scars on Auburtin’s reputation, as he expla...
Clint Dempsey Red Carded For Tearing Up Ref's Notebook
The Portland Timbers met the Seattle Sounders last night in the U.S. Open Cup. The game ended 3-1, with Portland scoring the three goals and Seattle losing three men to red cards while finishing the match with just seven players on the pitch thanks to a late injury after they had already used all th...
Argentine Soccer Player Puts Ref To Sleep With A Left Hook To The Jaw
Surprised this happened in Argentina? No? Me neither....
Arturo Vidal Totaled His Ferrari In Suspected Drunk Driving Accident
Juventus midfielder Arturo Vidal is currently in his native Chile with the national team competing in the Copa América. On his way back from a casino with his wife on his off-day, Vidal was involved in a two-car accident and arrested on suspicion of drunk driving....
Hope Solo Is Not A Problem
So this is what equality looks like. Finally, sports writers care enough about women’s sports to bother digging into a female athlete’s personal life and find out she’s a mess: married to a man once accused of hitting her, brawling with her own family members, and getting belligerent with cops when ...
This Dutch Goal And Ecstatic Celebration Are Why We Watch The World Cup
The Netherlands were one of our favorites of the longshots coming into this tournament, their first ever World Cup, for a number of reasons. Their underdog status, their paltry history, the sudden boom of young talent once the country began to prioritize the women’s game, their expressive style of p...
Premier League Starlet Pictured Passed Out In Middle Of The Road
Jack Grealish, the 19-year-old future-stud winger for Aston Villa, had a season to be proud of. He broke into the first team, becoming a regular starter by the end of the season, and impressed enough to be linked with bigger teams. To celebrate, it appears he got lit up in Spain, concluding at least...
Hao Wei Sent Off As Chinese Manager Caught Pushing Up On Opponent
Things got weird in the final minutes of today’s China-New Zealand match as Chinese manager Hao Wei earned an ejection for interfering with a Kiwi player who was attempting a throw-in. All China needed under the circumstances was a draw to advance, and they got it; one can reasonably assume Hao was ...
This Long Range Blast Will Be Côte d'Ivoire's One Good World Cup Memory
This Côte d’Ivoire team got hammered by Germany, gave up three goals to Thailand, only avoided a repeat beatdown at the hands Norway today on account of some sorry finishing, and will soon return home from their first World Cup thanks to their fourth-place group finish. But hey, Ange N’Guessan did b...
Neymar, Brazil's Soccer Messiah, Is Somehow Surpassing His Own Hype
A fundamental part of the marvel that is LeBron James is the sheer madness of his journey. Here is a man who was on the cover of national magazines and playing in front of millions on cable TV as a high schooler, who by the time he was eligible to vote was already being hailed as the successor to qu...
Teen Goalkeeper Fails To Play To The Damn Whistle, Blows Penalty Save
Christ, kid. Didn’t they teach you nothin’? You have to keep the ball out of the net, not just stop the penalty taker from kicking it in himself. Who cares if this is a Scottish U-14 match, if you don’t ridicule him for his errors, he’ll never learn....
This Little Kid Has The Correct Reaction To Seeing Zlatan In The Flesh
We know, we know, little Mikael. We’d make the same face....
Report: FIFA President Sepp Blatter May Not Resign
Sepp Blatter is reconsidering his decision to resign as FIFA president, according to a report from the Swiss newspaper Schweiz am Sonntag. ...
Holy Shit, Colombia Beat France!
The first upset of the Women’s World Cup happened this afternoon, and it was a very big one. Locked into a tight match with France all day, when the final whistle blew Colombia were on top 2-0. Ranked 28th in the world by FIFA, Colombia became the lowest ranked team to ever knockoff a top-10 team (F...
Colombia Commit Obvious Hand Ball, Get Away With It
Colombia lead France 1-0 in today’s Women’s World Cup match, and the French have reason to be sore after an obvious hand ball in the penalty area went missed by the match referee. Blatant cheating! It’s the FIFA way....
Someone Maybe Probably Etched A Swastika Onto The Pitch In Croatia
Look at the above image, taken from today’s Croatia-Italy Euro 2016 qualifying match. You’ll definitely notice the completely empty stadium, courtesy of a UEFA-imposed stadium ban after Croatian fans chanted racist things at not one but two prior international matches. What might slip your gaze is a...
Arsenal Fans Argue Over How Many Years Old 28 Years Old Is
Jackson Martinez was born on Oct. 3, 1986. The Colombian striker has been linked to Arsenal, but it may take much of the summer for fans to figure out how old that makes him. ...