screamer Page 143 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Adam Johnson Arrested, Allegedly Had Sex With 15-Year-Old Girl: Report
According to numerous reports out of England, Sunderland winger Adam Johnson was arrested today by Durham Police on suspicion of having sex with a 15-year-old girl. A Durham Police spokesperson would only tell news outlets that "a 27-year-old man was arrested earlier today on suspicion of sexual act...

Why I Love Coutinho, And How Real Madrid's Slip Gives Us A Great<i> Clásico</i>
With the fireworks of the last few days, it would be natural to look down the sights and champ at how those results set up a couple blockbuster head-to-head matchups in the coming weeks. But let's take a second to look back and appreciate what we saw this weekend, which was magnificent....

Happy Borussia Dortmund Celebrate Goal Batman And Robin Style
Borussia Dortmund players are happy again! Today's 3-0 victory over Schalke was their fourth straight in the Bundesliga, dragging themselves from the relegation zone to ninth in the table. Since they're finally confident that they'll actually score some goals, they're planning out elaborate costum...

Racist Dutch Soccer Fans Throw Inflatable Banana At Black Player (Update)
Feyenoord fans continue to expose themselves as douche bags of the highest order. First it was trashing Rome before the first leg of their Europa League tie against Roma, then it was threatening further shenanigans ahead of the return leg, and now they've gone ahead and gotten racist....

Chelsea To Fans: Guys, Please Don't Be Racist This Weekend
In contrast to the sentiment expressed by some fans in Paris last week, Chelsea feel that, though some of their fans may be racist, that is definitely not the way they like it. In light of this and this weekend's opponent, the club is threatening to come down hard on any supporters caught being raci...

Hulk Can Score Rocket Goals With Either Foot
Hulk hammered home a long-range rocket today against PSV in Europa League action, and while we've featured plenty of the Zenit St. Petersburg striker's heroics around here, we'd like to note that today's feat came off his right, and supposedly weaker, foot. ...

FIFA Takes 2021 Confederations Cup Away From Qatar
In a tough-yet-fair decision by an organization known for them, FIFA has decided to strip Qatar of hosting privileges for the 2021 Confederations Cup. In explaining the group's reasoning, FIFA secretary general Jérôme Valcke revealed something no one had previously considered: Qatari summers are way...

No-Good, Terrible Defending Gives Monaco Commanding Lead On Arsenal
"Hey Gunners," Dimitar Berbatov said with a wry grin, wheeling away towards the corner flag after some shockingly terrible defending sent the former Spurs and Red Devil striker free on goal to put Monaco up 2-0, "remember me?"...

Damn, Man, Tim Howard Is Having One Sad-Ass Season
It's been less than a year since Tim Howard became America's World Cup hero, staring down an unrelenting Belgian attack and turning away 16 goddamn shots with the grim resolve of an action hero who's low on ammo. In fact, go ahead and watch each one of those beautiful, thrilling saves one more time....

Dutch Hooligans Who Tore Up Rome Somehow Even Dumber Than You Thought
Remember those crazy Feyenoord fans who turned up in Rome ahead of their team's Europa League clash with Roma? The ones who seemed more concerned with tearing the city down before the match than with the game itself? Yeah, well they're getting ready for round two....

Goalkeeper Hops Into Stands To Throw Hands With Fan
Way down in the bowels of England's soccer pyramid lies the Isthmian League and teams like Kingstonian and Bognor Regis. This is the realm where players play for the love of the game, and fans attend for the love of the drink. Occasionally, the two sides collide....

This Barcelona Goal Has Manchester City Defenders Looking Like Children
Much has been made of Barcelona, who, though still dope as hell, are diminished from the time a few years back when they were invincible, and Luis Suárez, who is no longer the best player on his own team, let alone in the league. But Barcelona and Suárez are back in England today against Manchester ...

Even The Big European Powers Can't Stop The Winter World Cup In Qatar
As the tides of progress surge on, even Europe realizes its powerlessness in the face of Qatar's insistence on making the 2022 World Cup the first to be held in the winter, thus wrecking the domestic leagues' seasons. Our last hope for sanity to prevail—a defiant UEFA protecting its own highly-profi...

Soccer Fans Resist Urge To Be Hateful Assholes For Once
Soccer fans are, almost without exception, horrible people. So you can imagine our surprise, if also our reluctance to truly trust, the behavior of these Stuttgart fans, who consoled poor little Timo Baumgartl after a huge mistake lead to an easy goal to all but seal their defeat....

Angry Soccer Player Body Slams His Opponent
Worcester City's Shab Khan—they play in Conference North, the sixth tier of English soccer—objected to a foul from Stockport County's Charlie Russell, and decided that the proper way to express his displeasure was to body slam Russell. You'll be shocked to learn that Khan earned himself a red card. ...

José Mourinho Comes Up With Novel Way To Criticize Poor Refereeing
José Mourinho was pretty unhappy with referee Martin Atkinson in Chelsea's draw with relegation threatened Burnley, feeling that there were multiple uncalled penalties for Chelsea, and that Nemanja Matic was sent off unjustly. Not wanting a fine, he restrained himself from blasting the decisions d...

Andrea Pirlo's Bomb From 30 Yards Out Is Almost As Majestic As His Beard
This is the perfect Andrea Pirlo goal. Firmly parked way behind the action—a distance he's made a career out of dominating games from—he collects the ball, eyes up the goal frame, and hoofs in a shot that has no business beating the keeper. It's less a violent blast of power than an meticulously cra...

Feyenoord Fans Clash With Police, Trash Roman Square
An estimated 7,000 Feyenoord fans made their way to Rome today for the Europa League match against Roma, according to the BBC, and some of them came just to make trouble. They gathered on the famed Spanish Steps to drink, set off flares, trash a nice fountain, and generally cause mayhem. Italian pol...

Mario Balotelli Does Selfish, Swaggy Thing, Wins Game For Liverpool
Liverpool were hosting Turkish side Beşiktaş in the European Soccer NIT today, and it was scoreless until Liverpool young cock Jordon Ibe was tripped up in the box in the 85th minute. Penalty! Captain-for-the-day Jordan Henderson picked up the ball and walked to the spot, which is when hero and burg...

Dutch Soccer Hooligans Running Wild, Clashing With Riot Police In Rome
Roma are set to host Feyenoord later today in the Europa League, so it stands to reason that a bunch of Dutchmen would show up to cheer on their boys. What's unfortunately just as predictable is that the rival fans would bring, along with their support, the motherfucking ruckus....