screamer Page 153 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Book: Ronaldo Refers To Messi As "Motherfucker" Behind His Back
According to Cristiano Ronaldo, the constant comparisons to and ranking of him and Lionel Messi are slightly annoying but ultimately disregardable facts of life. According to a new book, though, Ronaldo takes the rivalry much more seriously and has a whole behind-the-scenes protocol for how he and h...
David Moyes Is Back ... For Now
Well, it looked touch and go there for a minute, but sure enough, Real Sociedad have announced David Moyes as their new manager. Hey, Moyes managed to not mess something up!...
Keeper Gets Medical OK One Day After Spinning In Air, Landing On Head
Yesterday, Villarreal goalkeeper Sergio Asenjo took an ugly tumble, cartwheeling through the air after leaping for a ball and landing flush on his neck. Despite feeling "dizzy" and "groggy," Asenjo continued playing. Despite not remembering the incident, he's already been cleared to play again....
Chelsea Have Already Made A Joke Of The Premier League Title Chase
So, you guys are really just gonna let this happen, huh? Just sit idly by, dropping points all willy nilly, while Mourinho's men sashay to the title without breaking a sweat? And the only club trying to put up a fight is Southampton?...
German Player's Perfect Strike From Center Circle Makes Great Own Goal
It takes a special kind of calmness to lob a ball from the edge of the center circle with enough accuracy to find the back of the net. Unfortunately, Christoph Kramer so calmly played this pass because he expected it to find his own keeper, not sail over his teammate's head and into the goal....
UConn Suspends Player For Flipping Off ESPN Camera
Earlier today, we brought you the image above, of UConn freshman Noriana Radwan flipping off an ESPN camera after the Huskies won their conference championship game yesterday. Forty-five minutes later, we got the following sternly worded release from UConn, along with a request to add it to our cove...
Man Utd Legend Asks City Fan Noel Gallagher To Sign Guitar, Gets Trolled
C'mon, Gary Neville, did you really think asking Noel Gallagher—who at this point is practically as famous for being a Manchester City superfan as he is for being a member of Oasis—to autograph your guitar would end in any other way than this troll job?...
Miguel Ibarra's Extreme Chip Shot Is A <em>Golazo</em> In Any League
Miguel Ibarra is one of the U.S. Men's National Team's newest call-ups, and the masterful goal he scored tonight for Minnesota United should give American soccer fans reason to anticipate more international appearances for the 24-year-old. ...
Errant Yaya Touré Shot Drills Little Girl In The Face
This is what happens when your shots aren't on target, Yaya. You bash a little girl in the face. Aim better!...
Here Are All 71 Of Lionel Messi's Champions League Goals
Stop us if this sounds familiar: Lionel Messi played soccer the other day, dragging Barcelona to victory with two crucial goals and winning him yet another goalscoring record, this time as the Champions League's joint all-time scorer. The video above shows each one of his 71 goals, from the first ...
Report: Qatar Using North Korean Slave Labor To Build For World Cup
It seemed like we had reached a point where the organizers of the 2022 World Cup couldn't possibly get more cartoonishly evil, what with the ITUC estimating that migrant worker-fueled construction would kill more people than 9/11, and then another report estimating that 1,000 migrant workers had alr...
FIFA's Corruption Report Is Being Kept Secret For Very Dumb Reasons
Former U.S. attorney Michael J. Garcia finished his investigation into allegations of bribery in the bidding process for both the 2018 and 2022 World Cups earlier this year, and he has made it known that he would like the report to be made public. The report is currently being kept secret by Hans-Jo...
West Ham Players Get Naked To Remind You To Feel On Your Balls
Not, like, in a sexual way—though that's good, too. It's part of The Sun's November "Feel 'em Friday" campaign to encourage men to rub around down there for evidence of testicular cancer. We're awaiting next week's step-by-step diagrams where Kevin Nolan demonstrates proper technique....
Here's Some Racist Shit A French Manager Said About African Players
Bordeaux manager and former French international Willy Sagnol had some things to say about African soccer players this week. As you can probably guess, they were racist as hell....
Relegation-Bound Team Willing To Consider Thinking About Moyes
When we last touched base with disgraced former manager David Moyes, he impressed us with both his shocking lack of foresight and his optimism at getting a good new gig sometime soon. Well, Real Sociedad may not be in the Champions League, and they might be in the early stages of a relegation battle...
Dozens Of Seagulls Straight Chillin' On The Pitch At Aussie Soccer Match
These are the highlights of Melbourne Victory's 2-0 win over Wellington Phoenix. More impressive than either goal scored is that the match continued on in the middle of a veritable bird storm, with dozens of gulls just walking on or flitting about the field and players like they owned the place....
Right Now, Alexis Sánchez Is The Most Destructive Force In Soccer
For the uninitiated, Arsenal striker Alexis Sánchez is a demon. He's an agent of chaos, and identifiable by a single, recognizable trait: when he approaches opposing players on the soccer field, they start fucking up....
The Brits Are Tearing Shit Up In Madrid
It's comforting to know Americans aren't the only ones known for loud and obnoxious behavior when abroad. Our cousins over in England are similarly famous for heading over to mainland Europe and bringing the ruckus. Hence these British fans in Madrid ahead of today's Liverpool-Real Madrid match, and...
Cristiano Ronaldo Enjoys His Own Crotch, In Cake Form
Ah yes. We've reached the first anniversary of walking brand Cristiano Ronaldo's underwear line—which you may remember from our previous coverage. In celebration, Ronaldo's team has memorialized the occasion by baking him a cake. Of his bulging crotch....
Israeli Soccer Brawl Cancels Match, Continues Next Day At Courthouse
Yesterday's Tel Aviv Derby between Hapoel and Maccabi was called off late in the first half as fans rushed the pitch. But that wasn't enough; supporters of the two sides met up again this morning at a court hearing for those arrested yesterday, and began brawling again. People are fucking nuts....