screamer Page 156 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Lionel Messi Almost Scoring Is More Impressive Than Most Actual Goals
A player broadly similar to Lionel Messi might've been what Johan Cruyff imagined Barcelona would produce after implementing his philosophy, but not even the Dutchman could've foreseen this Argentine's specific genius. I mean, try to prevent your jaw from dropping when he merely gets close to scor...

Alex Morgan Out Of World Cup Qualifying After This Nasty Ankle Injury
Alex Morgan will miss the rest of the USWNT's World Cup qualifying matches because of a sprained ankle she picked up during Thursday's game against Guatemala. It's an unfortunate set-back for a player with a history of ankle injuries, but thankfully it doesn't look as serious as it could've been....

Chelsea's Brilliant Team Goal Is The Best Of The Season
We knew what we were seeing last year when Jack Wilshere finished off that intricate Arsenal move, and we know what we saw today: the best team goal we're going to see in England this season....

Sunderland Defender's Exquisite Volley Makes For Wonderful Own Goal
Above, Sunderland's Santiago Vergini shows off some impressive technical ability as he takes a bouncing ball and cracks it past the keeper. It would've been worthy of his personal highlight reel, if it hadn't been aimed at his own net. But for an own goal, this was a beaut....

José Mourinho Doesn't Intend To Stop Being An Asshole Any Time Soon
José Mourinho is feeling himself right now. He has the best team in England, maybe the best in the world, and they're firing on all cylinders. So his typically dismissive response to a recent controversy involving other coaches' not taking too well to his celebratory handshake routine isn't surpri...

David Moyes, On What We All Saw Coming: "I Really Didn't See It Coming"
Former Manchester United manager, laughingstock, and amateur golfer David Moyes has stayed pretty quiet since getting canned before last season's end. (Publically, at least. Don't come at him sideways at a wine bar.) Today, he spoke to the Guardian, expressing a frankly unbelievable level of naive...

Ebola May Force The Africa Cup Of Nations Host To Be Decided By Lottery
The Africa Cup of Nations, the biannual tournament to crown the continent's top soccer country, is scheduled to kick off in three months. As of now, it'll be held in Morocco, but with West Africa currently suffering the worst Ebola outbreak ever, the idea of hundreds of thousands of people descendin...

Cruyff's Turn: How Barcelona's Greatest Icon Created Its Greatest Player
As you’ve probably heard by now, this week marks the 10-year anniversary of Lionel Messi’s first official appearance with the Barcelona first team. The soccer world has come together to celebrate this feat, remarkable for all the obvious reasons—the goals, the passes, the dribbles, the trophies—and ...

Ill-Timed Bench Collapse Makes For Great Soccer Team Photo
This is what happened when Derry City, a professional soccer team from the League of Ireland Premier Division, tried to get together to snap a team photo. Everyone seems to be having a good laugh at the situation, except for that dude on the bottom left. He might be dead....

Massive Soccer Brawl With Punches, Flying Kicks, Sees 12 Guys Sent Off
Deportivo Roca and Cipolletti, rivals in Argentina's 3rd division, really, really don't like each other. In the middle of a match between the two earlier this week, one bad tackle sparked a full on melee, with multiple players catching fists to the face and studs to the body....

MLS Commissioner Has Some Dumb Shit To Say About Jürgen Klinsmann
USMNT coach Jürgen Klinsmann has taken up one of his favorite pastimes recently: criticizing the U.S.'s subpar domestic soccer. Last week, Klinsmann made waves by coming out in support of a promotion-relegation system. On Tuesday, he took time to lament the return to MLS of America's best players, n...

French Player's Premature "Salute" Celebration Backfires Spectacularly
Here's a soccer story told in photos, with the moral being that you should never celebrate too early, lest you get burned so hard, your children's children will still need regular applications of salve....

Mayor Of London Hacks Down Little Boy In Pick-Up Soccer Match
Boris Johnson, Mayor of London and amateur sportsman, was watching some children play soccer today when he was invited to join in on proceedings. Presumably to teach them a lesson in the true, physical nature of English footy, he took out one kid with this terribly timed challenge:...

Cristiano Ronaldo Scores 95th-Minute Goal To Lead Portugal Over Denmark
Of course he did....

Havoc At Serbia-Albania As Match Interrupted By Flag-Carrying Drone
Officials suspended today's Serbia-Albania Euro 2016 qualifier in Belgrade after a drone carrying a large banner with the Albanian flag entered the stadium late in the first half and sparked a brawl between the two squads....

Paul Pogba Approached By Child, Takes Pants Off; Child Flees
Kids will often approach soccer players after a match and ask for their shirts. Sometimes, this results in a pantless Frenchman and a confused, retreating child. ...

FA Charges Rio Ferdinand With Misconduct, Probably For "Yo Mama" Joke
The English FA can't really be this uptight, can they? Today, the Premier League's governing body has announced that it has charged QPR's Rio Ferdinand with misconduct for a Tweet of his, without mentioning the specific one. It appears that it is this little bit of humor, sent to a bantering Mancu...

Neymar Scores Four Goals Today, Set To Become World's Best By Tomorrow
Now this is the Neymar we've all been waiting for....

Is This Brazil's Manager Calling An Argentina Coach A Cokehead?
Because that's exactly what it looks like. What else could new Brazil manager Dunga's accusatory staring, finger pointing, and aggressive nostril rubbing aimed at a member of Argentina's coaching staff realistically mean? Here's a gif:...