screamer Page 173 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

U.S. Lose Gloriously

The United States lost to Germany today, 1-0, but they're still advancing through the Group of Death to the World Cup's knockout stages after Portugal defeated Ghana 2-1. Germany finished first in the group, with the USMNT in second. Portugal and Ghana finished third and fourth, respectively....

Ladies And Gentlemen, Here's Your First Dong Of The World Cup

Well, here's a soccer dong. It's Jordan Ayew's, and flopped around a bit after he got his shorts pulled. ...

Jermaine Jones And Alejandro Bedoya Get Laid Out After Clashing Heads

In the 74th minute, Americans Jermaine Jones and substitute Alejandro Bedoya clashed heads while crossing paths. Both collapsed to the ground and remained there, and the USMNT played on for several seconds before realizing their entire midfield was lying prone on the grass. Aftermath below:...

Ghana Score to Tie Portugal, 1-1

Ghanaian forward Asamoah Gyan scored a header off a cross in the 57th minute to draw level with Portugal. Goal below:...

Germany Score To Take 1-0 Lead Over USA

After a great Tim Howard save, German forward Thomas Müller smashed the rebound to give Germany the 1-0 lead in the 55th minute. Goal below:...

Tim Howard Has Excellent First Half; Here Are All His Saves

U.S. keeper Tim Howard has managed well to keep the Germans scoreless during a very wet first half. Here's all the saves he had on German shot attempts....

Portugal Take 1-0 Lead Over Ghana

Portugal have taken a 1-0 lead over Ghana after defender John Boye conceded an own goal in the 31st minute. ...

Ghana Keeper Saves Point-Blank Header, Pumps Fist

Kyle Beckerman's Engagement Photos Are A Treasure

Kyle Beckerman and his sweet white-guy dreads have been two of the biggest breakout American stars at this year's World Cup. If he's one of your favorite American players now, just wait until you get a look at his engagement photos from this past October....

The German Press Is Talking Shit About Us, You Guys [NSFW]

Everyone is gearing up for this afternoon's colossal clash between the U.S. and Germany, and the Germans are no exception. The cocky bastards that they are, almost all of the coverage in their papers pretty blatantly take shots at our boys....

Portugal-Ghana: The Black Stars Are Imploding, But Can Still Go Through

I'm going out on a limb here and guessing the vast majority of you won't be watching Portugal-Ghana particularly closely. Oh, sure, you'll know if one of the teams scores—you'll review the replays of each goal with joy or dread depending on the time and circumstance. You'll have an eye on this game—...

The Ministry Of Silly Walks Tests The Pitch In Recife

This photo was brought to our attention by the Washington Post's Cindy Boren, who assures us that we are looking at a FIFA official testing the conditions in rainy Recife, and not a Monty Python sketch in action....

FIFA Hits Luis Suárez With Four-Month Ban

No need to speculate anymore. FIFA has ruled that Luis Suárez's most recent biting episode, wherein he chomped into Italian center back Giorgio Chiellini's shoulder, was, in fact, a bite. To punish him, they brought down the hammer....

Do Teams In Need Of A Draw Collude In International Soccer?

The U.S. and Germany both advance with a tie tomorrow and risk elimination with a loss, so there's been some fun speculation that the squads might play it safe and dull and produce a gentleman's draw. This sort of thing isn't unheard of—in 1982's Schande von Gijón, West Germany and Austria knocked t...

The Brazilian City Where The U.S. Is Playing Germany Has Flooded

The USA and Germany are just a few hours away from kicking off their final group-stage game in Recife, Brazil, and people are having one hell of a time trying to get to the stadium. That's because a torrential rainstorm has flooded portions of the city....

Watch Will Ferrell Pump Up A Crowd Of U.S. Supporters In Brazil

We're gonna win, man. We are definitely winning....

Good News, U.S. Fans: Ghana Are A Mess Right Now [Updating]

The four Group G teams—Germany, USA, Portugal, and Ghana—play today in the final Group of Death matchday. We all know the stakes. If the U.S. lose to Germany and Ghana beat Portugal by a couple of goals, Ghana will advance with Germany to the knockout rounds. That's why the news that not one, but tw...

Bruce Springsteen On Luis Suárez: "Biting Has No Place In Sports"

TMZ ran into The Boss in New York on Tuesday and asked his opinion on Luis Suárez cannibalizing his fellow players. One might assume that Bruce Springsteen is, across the board, not in favor of biting in sports, even the ones he's not totally familiar with. He has been following the World Cup "a bit...

Astros Trying To Lure People To Minute Maid Park With Soccer

The Houston Astros are still in their rebuilding period, so a decent crowd has been tough to come by in recent years. Houston is 25th in the league in attendance and averages just short of 23,000 per game and only the Rays have a worse record in the American League. Some folks do think the light at ...

Who Are The Biggest Floppers In The World Cup?

Look, even soccer fans won't argue that there's too much theatrical diving in the sport. We don't need the anti-soccer brigade shouting at us about the umpteenth instance of a player rolling around in the grass, clutching his ankle with a grimace a horror movie actress would be jealous of to admit t...