seattle-mariners Page 13 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Young Fan's Interference Leads To Mariners Loss, Priceless Expressions Of Wounded Innocence
In the eighth inning last night, Russell Branyan hit a chopper down the line that rolled into foul territory and was picked up by a teenager—preventing Ichiro from tying the game. Watch the young man's excitement turn to horror. [MLB.com]...

Mariners Celebrate Lolcats Night
Nothing like a 7-year-old Internet meme to show the kids you're hip, right Seattle? What's next, redirecting the team site to Last Measure? (Note: don't go to Last Measure.)...

So We Come To The End Of Ken Griffey Jr.
The Mariners have finally informed Ken Griffey Jr. that he retired from baseball nine months ago. Your lamentations of lost youth just excused themselves to send a wistful email to your yearnings for childlike wonder. [ESPN]...

Mariners Fan Loses Bet, Dignity
Last weekend, the Padres and Mariners faced off at Safeco Field. San Diego took two of three, and one fellow on the wrong end of a bet produced this oddly whisper-filled love letter to the Padres. H/T Theodore Donald Kerabatsos....

Mariners Circle The Wagons After Griffey Nap Flap
Guess whose fault it was that published reports said Ken Griffey Jr. was asleep in the clubhouse during a game? Well, if you ask the Mariners, it was anyone's fault but Griffey's....

Aaugh! No Peanuts In Seattle
On Sunday, the Mariners will institute "peanut-free" seating, for fans with the common allergy. Fans allergic to offense will also be accommodated. [Post-Intelligencer]...

It's White Supremacy Night At Safeco Field
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Anyone Want A Photo Of David Aardsma's Penis?
The Mariners closer has allegedly taken a nude photo of himself and sent it to someone via cell phone, and now one enterprising individual wants to find it a suitable home....

Milton Bradley, Nothing If Not Consistent
The newest Mariner is very sorry for his two consecutive Spring Training ejections. Just kidding! He says he'll never change, and that the umpires are out to get him. [Seattle Times]...

Seattle Mariners: The Fake Tragedy Of Ken Griffey
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Seattle Mariners....

John Wetteland Hospitalized For His Mental Health
When police responded to calls of a possible suicidal person, the Mariners bullpen coach and former closer came out with his hands in the air, telling them he "needed help." More to follow as we get it. [KTVT]...

Mike Blowers Knew You Would Read This Post
Journeyman everything Mike Blowers spent 11 years in the majors, but he should've spent that time in Vegas instead because the guy is scary good at predicting the outcome of baseball games—right down to the pitch counts....

Mariners Skipper Takes Job Title Seriously
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Ken Griffey Jr. Helps Welcome Adrian Beltre Back After Testicle Mishap
"When Beltre came up for his first at-bat, the theme for Tchaikovsky's "The Nutcracker" was played, a gesture from Ken Griffey Jr., whose MRI on his knee showed no structural damage." [SeattlePI]...

Why Your Stadium Sucks: Safeco Field
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: The Seattle Mariners' Safeco Field....

Jack Wilson, Ian Snell Released From Pirate Jail
Pittsburgh gives Seattle their shortstop and a nervous nellie pitcher in exchange for a vanload of prospects and an autographed picture of Sasquatch. [MLB.com]...

Police A Little Pissed At Newest Mariner
Seattle learns after trading for Dan Cortes that the top pitching prospect was busted earlier this month for public urination. He'll fit right in. [Seattle PI]...

Minor Leaguer Pushes Hit Streak To 45 Games
Mariners prospect Jamie McOwen has hit safely in 45-straight games, which pretty much means he's better than Pete Rose. Of course, that also means he's not as good as legendary sluggers Otto Pahlman and Harry Chozen, but them's the breaks....

Russell Branyan's Power Loogie Deserves A Star
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Griffey Tickles Ichiro's Fancy, Armpits
Today, the Tacoma News Tribune takes a long look at the blossoming friendship between Ichiro and Ken Griffey Jr. Among the many touching revelations: Griffey will tickle Ichiro until he calls out what one might describe as a safe word....