seattle-mariners Page 13 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Sportswriters Struggle With Turns Of Phrase For Franklin Gutierrez's Spastic Pooping
At least Franklin Gutierrez now knows what caused all of his stomach problems for nearly a full year. Gutierrez visited the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota earlier this week, where he was diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome as the cause of his stomach issues that first popped up last summer....
This Texas Rangers Broadcast Clip Will Someday Be Evidence In Divorce Proceedings
Fun stuff from tonight's Rangers-Mariners telecast—good, old-fashioned Texan chivalry....
Dave Niehaus, The Voice Of The Mariners, Is Dead At 75
Niehaus called the first pitch in Mariners history in 1977 — a strike by Diego Segui — and continued calling until their final game of the 2010 season. He died of a heart attack in his Bellevue home Wednesday afternoon....
Download Those MLB Financial Statements For Your Own Enjoyment
By popular demand, here are those MLB documents as PDF files: Pittsburgh Pirates; Pirates again; Florida Marlins; Tampa Bay Rays; Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim; and Seattle Mariners. The Rangers' Excel files can be downloaded here and here. Enjoy....
MLB Confidential, Part 2: Seattle Mariners
You've seen the first round of financial statements. Now take a look inside the Mariners' books....
M's Celebrate Japanese Heritage Night By Firing Manager Of Japanese Heritage
Great timing, Mariners. You promise fans "a fun-filled night of Japanese culture," and hours before first pitch you ax Don Wakamatsu, the majors' first Japanese-American manager. To make amends, Chone Figgins will be performing seppuku before tonight's game. [Mariners.com]...
What In God's Name Is Tim Duncan Doing To That Whale?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Brett Favre's Daughter Is Not Amused By The ESPYs
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
FMK: Ichiro, Werth, Strawberry
I've fielded kyuu or juu tips-emails about this video of Blossoming Young Lady Giddying Up After Ichiro Elbows Her Face, Caresses Her Outer Thigh....
Young Fan's Interference Leads To Mariners Loss, Priceless Expressions Of Wounded Innocence
In the eighth inning last night, Russell Branyan hit a chopper down the line that rolled into foul territory and was picked up by a teenager—preventing Ichiro from tying the game. Watch the young man's excitement turn to horror. [MLB.com]...
Mariners Celebrate Lolcats Night
Nothing like a 7-year-old Internet meme to show the kids you're hip, right Seattle? What's next, redirecting the team site to Last Measure? (Note: don't go to Last Measure.)...
So We Come To The End Of Ken Griffey Jr.
The Mariners have finally informed Ken Griffey Jr. that he retired from baseball nine months ago. Your lamentations of lost youth just excused themselves to send a wistful email to your yearnings for childlike wonder. [ESPN]...
Mariners Fan Loses Bet, Dignity
Last weekend, the Padres and Mariners faced off at Safeco Field. San Diego took two of three, and one fellow on the wrong end of a bet produced this oddly whisper-filled love letter to the Padres. H/T Theodore Donald Kerabatsos....
Mariners Circle The Wagons After Griffey Nap Flap
Guess whose fault it was that published reports said Ken Griffey Jr. was asleep in the clubhouse during a game? Well, if you ask the Mariners, it was anyone's fault but Griffey's....
Aaugh! No Peanuts In Seattle
On Sunday, the Mariners will institute "peanut-free" seating, for fans with the common allergy. Fans allergic to offense will also be accommodated. [Post-Intelligencer]...
It's White Supremacy Night At Safeco Field
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Anyone Want A Photo Of David Aardsma's Penis?
The Mariners closer has allegedly taken a nude photo of himself and sent it to someone via cell phone, and now one enterprising individual wants to find it a suitable home....
Milton Bradley, Nothing If Not Consistent
The newest Mariner is very sorry for his two consecutive Spring Training ejections. Just kidding! He says he'll never change, and that the umpires are out to get him. [Seattle Times]...
Seattle Mariners: The Fake Tragedy Of Ken Griffey
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Seattle Mariners....