sec Page 37 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you finally achieve peace of mind ... • College basketball: Syracuse at Virginia; West Virginia vs. Auburn, at Birmingham, Ala. I'll bring the soy sauce. [ESPN2] • College basketball: Georgetown vs. Alabama, at Birmingham, Ala. Hope the hush puppies vendor gets here soon. [ESPN] • N...
Miguel Cotto Once KO'd A Salesman ... Over The Phone
• Boxing. Miguel Cotto retained his WBA welterweight championship with a unanimous decision over Shane Mosley in New York. The fight was so close that both of fighters landed exactly 248 punches. That's creepy. Cotto, who is now 31-0, took the judges' cards at 116-113, 115-113 and 115-113. Mosley, n...
Penn State Will Sue Your Elementary School Back To The Stone Age
Hold on there, Conway Elementary School seventh-grade flag football team. Not another step. Your logo is infringing on the intellectual property rights of Penn State University, and must be removed from all t-shirts, school binders and backpacks. Here are a team of copyright lawyers to make sure you...
The Day The Poon Died ...
I don't wish to put a damper on your college football fun, but I have very bad news. So, please, stop what you're doing for a second, sit down, and maybe chug some hard liquor. SEC Poon is dead. (I'm sorry.)...
Inside Jason Elam's Incredible Kick
Stefan Fatsis, the author of Word Freak, sportswriter (on leave) from the Wall Street Journal and sports commentator on NPR's "All Things Considered," knows kickers. His upcoming book, A Few Seconds Of Panic, is about the modern NFL as experienced by Fatsis, a 5-8, 170-pound writer embedded as a kic...
Milt Stegall Sets CFL Touchdown Record
You may not know this, but the Gawker Overlords have me hooked up to this machine that electrocutes me every time I even thi— BUZZ! Ah! Dammit! Every time I even think about posting a CFL stor— BUZZ! Shit! Story. But guess wha— BUZZ! Ouch! I don't care. Milt Stegall— BUZZ! Milt Stegall deserves his ...
Jose Canseco Is Very Cautious With His Speech
Jose Canseco confounds us, because he's obviously a moron, yet he's pretty much the only guy who's been right about this steroid business from the beginning. It's like learning Charles Nelson Reilly came up with some cinematic innovation 20 years ago. Anyway, he's spouting off again, and this time h...
Your Baby Will Cough And You Will Like It
We know the big ESPN interoffice complaint memorandum we posted earlier this week was enormous and unwieldy, but seriously, folks: It's an absolute treasure trove of gorgeous goodness. So, for the rest of the week, we'll be highlighting particularly hilarious and illustrative segments from the memo....
ESPN Employees Need Their Cash NOW
We know the big ESPN interoffice complaint memorandum we posted yesterday was enormous and unwieldy, but seriously, folks: It's an absolute treasure trove of gorgeous goodness. So, for the rest of the week, we'll be highlighting two particularly hilarious and illustrative segments from the memo each...
A Tree Grows In Bristol
We know the big ESPN interoffice complaint memorandum we posted on Tuesday was enormous and unwieldy, but seriously, folks: It's an absolute treasure trove of gorgeous goodness. So, for the rest of the week, we'll be highlighting two particularly hilarious and illustrative segments from the memo eac...
ESPN Would Rather Not Use Their Own Phones
We know the big ESPN interoffice complaint memorandum we posted yesterday was enormous and unwieldy, but seriously, folks: It's an absolute treasure trove of gorgeous goodness. So, for the rest of the week, we'll be highlighting two particularly hilarious and illustrative segments from the memo each...
John Skipper Defines Leadership
We know the big ESPN interoffice complaint memorandum we posted yesterday was enormous and unwieldy, but seriously, folks: It's an absolute treasure trove of gorgeous goodness. So, for the rest of the week, we'll be highlighting two particularly hilarious and illustrative segments from the memo each...
Felix Hernandez Informed By Internet That He Has Other Pitches Besides Fastball
All right, I initially highlighted the mischievousness of sports blogs to preface you all with some of the goodness sportsbloggery can achieve in life. The blog U.S.S. Mariner wrote an open letter to Seattle Mariners pitching coach Rafael Chavez, wherein he mentions how Felix Hernandez throws way to...
A Bug's Life, If That Bug Is Named John Holmes
The world has long pined for the answer to life's perpetual mystery: Is a Rangers-Orioles game more boring than watching flies screw? Well, an astute reader and his friend attended such a baseball game last night, and saw two horseflies gettin' down and procreating. Judging by these two fans' fixat...
The NFL Wants You To Watch Less Than A Minute Of Their Players
In a move designed to protect the Internet operations of its 32 teams, the pro football league has told news organizations that it will no longer permit them to carry unlimited online video clips of players, coaches or other officials, including video that the news organizations gather themselves on...
Watch, Hoof, Watch!
You've sat through "The Sopranos," waiting for them to just settle the whole matter already so you can stop seeing ads for it. You ordered HBO for one reason only. And the night you've been waiting for is among us: It's the HBO Barbaro Documentary....
Jose Canseco, Keeping Us Entertained For Nearly A Quarter Of A Century
Oh, 'tis a sad, sad day indeed when one is outwitted by Jose Canseco. As SportsbyBrooks so dutifly reported over the weekend, the man who once had a baseball bounce off his noggin for a home run has apparently convinced USA Today columnist Michael McCarthy that his non-existent TV reality show, Win ...