sec Page 37 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Stuff White People LOVE: Duke vs. West Virginia Live Blog
The first two days of March Madness are amazingly fun in a crazy kind of way, but the best basketball is still to come. This weekend's second round games have just gotten underway with Duke taking on West Virginia just down the road from me at the Verizon Center in Chinatown. If I had some kind of ...
About Last Night
What you missed while discovering the fashionable new way to transport your dog... • CBB: The Hoosier's debacle of a season is over. • CBB: Against all odds, all four number one seeds advanced to the second round. Memphis made sure of it with a thumping over UT-Arlington, although somebody must hav...
Tornadoes Don't Enjoy SEC Basketball
It's refreshing to hear that nobody got injured when the severe weather struck down on the Georgia Dome during the SEC tournament, which means we're allowed to have a little fun with this....
High Tech Underpants For The Sportsman On The Go
For those of you who are planning to take advantage of that NCAA Tournament vasectomy special we mentioned over the weekend, you're surely gonna need a pair of these for your recovery period. I own several pair, and I'm not even considering surgery....
Go From A 16 Seed To A No Seed
MVN Outsider points to a snippy (tee hee) promotion that ensures that if, you know, you're a fella who wants an excuse to watch the entire NCAA Tournament and also is interested in rendering himself sterile, you needn't wait until after the tourney....
Jose Canseco Can Sometimes Look Rather Small
Mop Up Duty brings us this ad for Testagen, which promises TESTOSTERONE OPTIMIZATION! It's Jose Canseco and Derek Anthony, who classifies himself as an "extreme bodybuilder." We'd say....
Jose Canseco Really, REALLY Wants To Get Into Film
Our favorite aspect of this whole steroid era in baseball has to be that the grand whistleblower was Jose Canseco. Baseball was so dirty in the '90s that this meathead was the closest we have to a hero. It's kind of awesome. (We own one of these shirts, by the way.)...
I Am Jose, Hear Me Roar ... In Spanish
The NBA Closer is written by our Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or hawking merchandise, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast....
What Happens In SportRobe, Stays in SportRobe
Attention bloggers: There's now no reason to ever again wear pants. The SportRobe is here! (No truth to the rumors that the Orioles are using these as their actual home uniforms). Several models available; and we suppose that Marbury is wearing his pretty much constantly. And Seaver, of course, rout...
Geaux Back to Columbus
Thanks to the omniscience of the Bowl Championship Series we can officially crown the Louisiana State Tigers as the National Champions Elect of College Football. And while we're at it, let's all give a big thanks to Ohio State for keeping things interesting for a few minutes longer than the last tim...
He Who Wears This Jersey Shall Be Filled With Sudden Rage
By now it's probably too late to order any gifts online. That's why in case I forgot anybody, I bought The Simpsons Movie DVD and kept it unwrapped. "Oh, I knew you wanted this so badly, I forewent wrapping it. That's how much I care!" But if that special someone is a baseball fan, maybe they can wa...
This T-Shirt Will Inject You With Something
A reader sends in this T-shirt he had signed about 20 years ago. It features signatures from Jose Canseco, Mo Vaughn and Roger Clemens, all three of which were prominently featured in the Mitchell Report last week....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you finally achieve peace of mind ... • College basketball: Syracuse at Virginia; West Virginia vs. Auburn, at Birmingham, Ala. I'll bring the soy sauce. [ESPN2] • College basketball: Georgetown vs. Alabama, at Birmingham, Ala. Hope the hush puppies vendor gets here soon. [ESPN] • N...
Miguel Cotto Once KO'd A Salesman ... Over The Phone
• Boxing. Miguel Cotto retained his WBA welterweight championship with a unanimous decision over Shane Mosley in New York. The fight was so close that both of fighters landed exactly 248 punches. That's creepy. Cotto, who is now 31-0, took the judges' cards at 116-113, 115-113 and 115-113. Mosley, n...
Penn State Will Sue Your Elementary School Back To The Stone Age
Hold on there, Conway Elementary School seventh-grade flag football team. Not another step. Your logo is infringing on the intellectual property rights of Penn State University, and must be removed from all t-shirts, school binders and backpacks. Here are a team of copyright lawyers to make sure you...
The Day The Poon Died ...
I don't wish to put a damper on your college football fun, but I have very bad news. So, please, stop what you're doing for a second, sit down, and maybe chug some hard liquor. SEC Poon is dead. (I'm sorry.)...