si Page 896 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Why Are So Many Quarterbacks Kicking So Much Ass? Jamboroo, Week 9
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Deleted Scenes From The Sports Guy Book Tour
Bill Simmons' book tour continues apace (NY Times #1 bestseller!) and we also continue to get dispatches from fans of overweight literature. Enjoy these tales of long lines, blurry photographs, and some guy who likes autographed meat....

Isiah Thomas Continues His Formula For Success
Florida International begins its march to the upper echelon of D-I basketball by playing its first exhibition game under their new head coach....and losing to an NAIA school coached by Rollie Massimino. Exactly as planned. [AP/SB/RTC]...

Sports Fella Just Threw Up In His Mouth
[Twitter, via Jon Greenberg of Team Marketing Report]...

The Final FAILgate: Please Pick The Most Pathetic Winning Entry
So here is the final FAILgate for this year, replete with a voting poll where you, Deadspin nation, will get to decide which lucky individual walks home with the coveted "Deadspin Prize Pack."...

Owning A Russian Basketball Team Can Be Hazardous To Your Health
If future Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov ever invites you to watch a game in the owner's box, don't accept. Not only will you be stuck watching the Nets, there's a decent chance you'll be caught up in an assassination attempt....

Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Eye For An Eye Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....

Another Macy's Miracle
This full-page ad for Phillies championship gear is apparently running in the Philadelphia Inquirer today (Update: They're awfully sorry!) even after the marketing director specifically said "Tegucigalpa Daily News." Even Brad Lidge can't save this disaster. [PhillyTalk]...

Tackler Has Great Form, Terrible Uniform Recognition
The semi-pro Las Vegas Cobras claim to "provide our players the ability to fine-tune their skills for advancement to the next level." Lesson number one: stop tackling your teammates....

Russian Billionaires Continue To Mock America's Troubling Financial Times
Chelsea Football Club owner Roman Abarmovich recently hosted a lunch at Nello's in New York City. Everything was going great until the bill arrived: a $47,221.09 bill, that is. Then all hell broke loose....

Who Cares About The Meth Stuff, Agassi Wore A Wig?
Another bombshell from his biography: Agassi wore a wig, which fell apart in the shower the night before his first Grand Slam final. He prayed "not for victory, but that my hairpiece would not fall off." So there's that. [BBC]...

Matt D'Agostini Got Knocked The Fuggout
Chicago Blackhawks Andrew Ladd absolutely leveled Montreal Canadiens right winger Matt D'Agostini early in last night's 3-2 Chicago victory. More talk about head shots! Whee!...

Sports Fan Coalition Is An Actual Thing Now
Remember the sports fan lobbying group that you're supposed to love and/or be scared of? It really exists now. So feel free to panic and/or stick it to the man....

The Sports Fella Reveals His Plans For The Next Great American Novel
So far, with the hundreds upon hundreds of interviews, self-promotional dog-and-pony crap the Sports Fella's been through pimping The Book Of Basketball, his interview (s) with Leitch have all been refreshingly honest. And full of cursing....

Messing With Our Heads: A Former Player's Lament
With the brains of football players now a matter of national concern, writer Michael Oriard, a former Chiefs offensive lineman and a cultural historian, worries about both his own fate and the NFL's....

Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Den Of Reporters Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....

Waiting In Line For The Sports Guy
ESPN's Bill Simmons brought his "The Book of Basketball" signing tour to annoying East Village bar Professor Thom's last night and our NYC Deadspin operatives waited in line so we wouldn't have to. Bless their little hearts....

The Top Story This Morning: Holy Crap, The Umps Got One Right
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

I-TEAM Assemble! Assignment: Sports Fella
Going to the Bill Simmons book signing in NYC tonight? Pictures, stories, and other nonsense welcome. We'd do it ourselves, but ... um. Yeah. [Photo via]...

Congress Gets Involved In Concussion Debate, Fails To Solve Everything
Goodell, along with NFLPA leader DeMaurice Smith and other people in suits, was grilled by the House Judiciary Committee about all this stuff they've been hearing about "concussions" and "permanent brain damage." The Commish talked a great deal about all the many things the league is doing—rule chan...