si Page 1002 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Getting Drunk With The Draft And Simmons
As we watch Chad Ford do his absolute best Bill Simmons impression while mock-drafting with the Sports Fella — "Taking Oden is like marrying the girl you don't want to date, but the girl you want to spend the rest of your life with!" — we look forward to tomorrow night's NBA Draft. (Which will be li...

Arenas And Durant, Like Burns And Allen
You just know he insisted on that, and that he practiced in a mirror for months to get it exactly right....

The Exact Human Opposite Of Jim Nantz
Ron Jaworski? Please. This is your new MNF foil for Kornheiser....

Stuart Scott Is The Broadcasting Equivalent Of Hudson Hawk
As Awful Announcing reported yesterday, tonight, ESPN will bring you a Very Special "SportsCenter" featuring Bruce Willis, Live Free Or Die Hard and all kinds of WACKY HIJINKS....

Hirshey: Down And Out In Barcelona
David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....

Maybe There's A Reason Laurence Maroney Wants You To Wash U Ass
MediaTakeOut.com, the website everyone turns to when they want the hard-hitting truth, picked up on the Laurence Maroney items from yesterday at KSK and here, and are now, based on the below picture, insinuating that Maroney is gay....

Way Less Charming Than Harold And Maude
There's a lot of track and field on TV today, but it's the boring kind. It's the kind where the female athletes are older than 16, and they aren't married to their 40-year-old track coaches. But don't worry, we've got that covered, too....

Which Athlete Will Be The Next Gay Blog Obsession?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

Cow Tipping In Madison Is Absolutely Unacceptable
Sometimes, considering our own background, we have a hard time understanding some of these newfangled athlete malfeasances. This "Making It Rain" ... that didn't come up much in Mattoon (though the crops sure could have used it!)...

This Is Why That Child Was Beating Your Ass
As anyone who watches "The Colbert Report" knows, children are a national menace that plan on taking the planet from us. And, to expedite the process, they're all now taking steroids....

College Helps You Spell
One of the main reasons to enjoy the College World Series: The brilliant, obviously university-educated, fan signs in the crowd. That one's from a Mississippi State fan....

R.I.P., Terry Hoeppner
Indiana football coach Terry Hoeppner, who had been recovering from surgery for a brain tumor, died this morning at a Bloomington area hospital. The Hoosiers had announced just last week that Hoeppner would not be able to coach this year; assistant Bill Lynch will coach in his place. Hoeppner was 59...

Surely, President Bush's Favorite Day Of The Year
Occasionally, when President Bush meets a sports team that has won a title, it means something. When the Red Sox visited after winning the World Series in 2004, not only was it a historic victory, but it also allowed Curt Schilling — who had campaigned heavily for Bush after the Red Sox won — to rec...

It's Good To Have A Golf Champion Actually Look Like A Golfer
Like most casual golf fans in America, we spent most of the day yesterday away from the television but curious if Tiger Woods was going to win the U.S. Open. A victory by anyone else would elicit a shrug; a victory by Tiger would somehow matter more, as if we're enough of an expert in golf to unders...

Kobe's Still Feeling Grumpy
If the Los Angeles Lakers do indeed plan on making some moves to surround Kobe Bryant with some more talent, they might want to speed the process along. Kobe's hanging out in Barcelona, and he's not getting any happier....

Stableford: Whom Would Philippoussis Rather?
FishbowlNY editor Dylan Stableford occasionally writes for Deadspin about tennis. Here's his take on the new reality show about Mark Philippoussis deciding between young women and old women. (Or something like that.)...

Sportsline Columnist On Suicide Mission To Fly
So you know those wacky videos they show every year of some Red Bull event where silly folks try to fly their homemade "airplanes" off a 30-foot cliff? (The 10 best crashes are here.) That's called The Flugtag, and this year, Clay Travis, of CBS Sportsline Claynation fame — and our own Tennessee Tit...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while enjoying kiwi sausage goodness and the refreshing taste of fresh cucumber soda ... • Boxing: Lightweights, Edner "Not Exactly" Cherry vs. Wes "31 Flavors" Ferguson, at Tampa. [ESPN2] • MLB: Arizona at N.Y. Yankees. Watch the fun as Randy Johnson switches teams again. [ESPN] • MLB...

Corporate Advertising: The Glue That Holds Our Fragile Republic Together
OK, can we look past the fact, just for a moment, that the advertising firm of Wieden & Kennedy abused a beloved Beatles tune in one of their ads, and that their main client uses preteen Vietnamese sweatshop workers to make tennis shorts? It's their birthday; can't we just focus on the good times? T...

Is Gilbert Really Gonna Leave?
With everyone up in arms about the possibility of Gilbert Arenas leaving the Wizards, we thought we'd look at whether or not he would actually leave. After all, Gilbert is that rare superstar athlete who seems human and likable, and the average fan doesn't like to see a guy like that just — all toge...