si Page 895 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Evil Russians, Selfish Canadians Go To War Over Rubber And Graphite
Just when you thought the drama over Sidney Crosby's misplaced gear had subsided, representatives from two nations go to war with the Hockey HOF over ownership. The antagonists are a private collector from Russia, and...the city of Vancouver?...

Fun With Anal Beads! Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase six heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Big East Tournament Brings Out Gross Married Guys And Men Urinating In Bank Vestibules
Yes, the word "douchebags" has been overused at this point, but it is still fascinating to watch them in their natural element, especially when mixed with the toxic combo of booze, attractive correspondents and a television camera....

AN ESPN VP Joins The Olbermann-Simmons Pillow Fight
ESPN Executive VP and Editor John Walsh snarks back at Keith Olbermann in today's SportsBusiness Daily, and suddenly the Olbermann-Simmons feud has become one of those great Greek tragedies full of incest and bloodshed and men with stately white beards....

Tebow Draft Rationalization Watch: The 49ers Like "Winners"
As the NFL Draft approaches, many team fanbases will attempt complex logical gymnastics to talk themselves into using a first-round pick on Florida quarterback Tim Tebow. Today: 49ers coach Mike Singletary seeks a younger version of Mike Singletary....

Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat Acronym Humor
Ladies and germs, I give you Jerry Thornton of WEEI....

Beadle Distressed By Inflatable Dong Tongue; Cowherd, Not So Much
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Corey Haim, Dead; Bill Simmons Mourns
Excpect 5,000 words on how Haim's death is comparable to River Phoenix's by 5 p.m. [SportsGuy33]...

Simmons-Olbermann Feud Tweeted To An Unsatisfying Conclusion
Just so we're clear: The Sports Fella did not get into writing to respond to Keith Olbermann's response to Simmons's response to Olbermann's response to that one column Simmons wrote in crayon. [@sportsguy33]...

The Olbermann-Simmons Feud Is Getting Feisty
Wherever you come down in the Keith Olbermann-Bill Simmons blood feud, you can surely agree that the former just drew a helluva line in the sand by calling Simmons "the most uncontrollable, unmanageable talent in the history of ESPN."...

Canadians Also Win Gold For Synchronized Peeing
The City of Edmonton charted water consumption during the hockey gold medal game and found that the whole damn town apparently saved its "business" for the intermissions. [Pat's Papers]...

Acting! Wins The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the poor unappreciated working stiffs who get paid unconscionable sums to play make believe for a living. It's about time they got some attention....

Sidney Crosby Hates America (But You Already Knew That)
In New York this week, Crosby turned down an invitation to do Letterman's Top Ten list, and apparently it's not the first time. He's probably a Leno fan. Figures. [NY Post]...

Olbermann Joins The Sports Fella Pile-On
On Simmons: "I am again left to marvel how somebody can rise to a fairly prominent media position with no discernible insight or talent, save for an apparent ability to mix up a vast bowl of word salad very quickly."...

TRAPPED IN A CAGE! Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go. But first, an announcement....

Slipping And Tripping In Warren Sapp's Hometown
You're familiar with Dark Side of the Locker Room. Consider this the THX Edition of Dark Side. Our storyteller is Padgett Powell, author of Edisto, The Interrogative Mood, and the following dispatch from Plymouth, Fla., which was spiked by ESPN....

Civic-Minded Wrestler Of The Week: Tiger Jeet Singh
There's a minor controversy brewing in Ontario, where trustees have voted to name a public school after longtime wrestler Tiger Jeet Singh. Why all the fuss? It's not like he attacked audience members with his sword that many times....

Sports Fella Doubles Down On The Stupid
Remember that foolish thing Bill Simmons said the other day about Tiger and Muhammad Ali? Well, Bill has taken a step back, read some old Sports Illustrateds, and decided to be foolish again, only at much greater length. [Charles Pierce]...

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: "The Big Boss Man" Ray Traylor
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: "The Big Boss Man" Ray Traylor, who died of a heart attack in 2004. He was 42....

Time To Start A Band Since We've Already Got A Kickass Album Cover
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....