si Page 909 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Aaron Rodgers Is Having A Productive Offseason
Julie Henderson is her name. (Some NSFWishness) She's apparently a "grapefruit heiress" and used to date Russell Simmons. I hope that's not some sort of bizarre euphemism. Oh and Rodgers is reportedly "more focused" thanks to Favre-lessness. [TheBigLead]...

Someone Needs A Refund
Sir Sidney Ponson, in the midst of leading the Dutch Honkball team to the quarterfinals of the WBC, tested positive for Phentermine, a stimulant and appetite suppressant. He's also the reason we invented Deadspin widescreen. [AP]...

Egyptian Press Reports What Really Happened In That South Africa Hotel Room
In Egypt, which lacks a free press, the government can try to make a scandal dissipate just by using politically correct language. Case in point: apparently, the translation for "possibly-money-stealing-and-home-wrecking prostitutes" is "girls."...

UNC's Ellington Happy To Be Drafted, But Sad To Leave 19-Year-Old Philly Girlfriend
He was one of the 49 players drafted by the Timberwolves."My girlfriend goes to Drexel, so she wanted me to stay local, as did my family. I'm not upset at all, though. This is a blessing."[Philly.com]...

Please Join KOGOD This Evening For NBA Draft Insanity
Deadspin's official draftnik for 2009 will be "KOGOD" aka "Unsilent Majority" aka "Baby KOGODINO." He will live blog until he falls asleep in a comfy chair covered in peanut shells and Velveeta. Have fun with him. [KSK]...

Meet The Next Generation Of C-Team NFL Broadcasters
Have you ever watched a sixth-string announcing team stumble their way through another awful NFL game,and think, "Do they have some kind of assembly line that churns out these lousy ex-football player analysts?" Well, guess what? They do!...

Twit Wars: The Sports Fella Vs. Mike Dunleavy, Sr.
Simmons is leaving blood on the keyboard because Clippers' coach Mike Dunleavy called him a "joke writer" on Cowherd's radio show. A possible tag-team bout with OchoCinco/Dunleavy vs. Merriman/Sports Fella is forthcoming. Let's make it a strap match. [SportsGuy33]...

Tom Verducci Has Found His Latest Anti-Drug Mascot: Joe Mauer
Oh, lookie. Here's Tom Verducci, once again on the cover of Sports Illustrated, once again turning real live baseball players into toy soldiers whom he can draft into his own personal war on steroids....

American Newspapers Can't Quite Afford Wimbledon Coverage
Filip Bondy reports that only eight papers — the usuals plus, uh, the S.F. Examiner? — sent tennis correspondents overseas, and some aren't even there yet. To be fair, though, that's one reporter for every 6.375 players. [Bondy via TBL]...

The Superstars Loses Its Superstar
By now you've certainly seen the video of Joanna Krupa going all Terrell Owens on....Terrell Owens (language NSFW), but if you didn't actually watch "The Superstars" last night than you must hate Americana and apple pie, baby....

This Is Outstanding
It's an autotuned version of memorable press conferences. AI's "practice" soliloquy dominates but you'll also find some Kanye'd versions of Dennis Green's "They are who we thought they were!" and Mike Gundy's "I'm a man!" looped in. [KSK]...

Sidney Crosby's Wild Stanley Cup Orgy
I know this is every man's fantasy, but does Sid the Kid know where that Cup has been? Wrap it up, buddy. [Sports Crackle Pop, via TheScore]...

Harold Reynolds Won't Embrace OPS
Now that Joe Morgan is telling tales 'round the national campfire, who out there is left to make specious, proudly ignorant arguments about the value of baseball statistics? Batter up, Harold Reynolds!...

Donald Fehr Stepping Down As Head Of Player's Association
After shepherding the MLB Players' Association through nearly 25 years of labor strife, executive director Donald Fehr is calling it a job ... done. We'll always (not) have 1994. [ESPN]...

FAVRE. FAVRE. FAVRE. FAVRE.
Florio hints that Vikes may have already signed him, but are holding the announcement until July 3rd to reduce media overload. Best way to bury the Favre story? Have Artie Lange accuse Joe Buck of jizzing on his chest. [PFT]...

A Life-Size Kobe Bryant, And His Head Bobbles
Well, this is about the most terrifying bobblehead I've ever encountered. All yours, for the low price of $13,000 — and if you order now, they'll throw in an even bigger head at no extra cost. [Lakers Blog]...

Joe Morgan Clarifies One Fib, Possibly Tells Another
As you know, Joe Morgan, the human sic, told a bit of a stretcher during last Sunday's broadcast. Yesterday, he clarified the matter in a way only Joe Morgan could. By maybe lying again....

Note To Sportswriters: Wide Receivers Aren't Actually Divas
Don Banks, the Sports Illustrated writer last seen comparing Matt Millen to Dick Nixon in a good way, wonders today why so many wide receivers act like divas. Not to pick on Banks again, but ......

Tony Mandarich's Porno Revenge Web Site (UPDATED)
Tony Mandarich's ex-fiancee is suing the world's most famous draft bust because she claims that he set up a porn website under her name to embarrass her with pictures of her doing dirty, dirty things. That's not very gentlemanly....

Mama, There Goes That Man ... To Minnesota
"Multiple sources have told Pro Basketball News that Mark Jackson has emerged as the leading candidate for the [Timberwolves] position and will wind up with his first coaching gig." Some would call this a grown-man move. [Pro Basketball News]...