si Page 972 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Coach Cal Defeats Coach Calhoun, Cancer
Both Derrick Rose and Chris Douglas-Roberts notched career highs in scoring en route to Memphis's 81-70 win over Connecticut in the finals of the 2K Sports College Hoops Classic benefiting Coaches Versus Cancer. Douglas-Roberts led the way with 33 points to put away Jim Calhoun's Huskies in the se...
This Is Why People Hate High School
Everybody knows that the only thing on earth better than cheerleaders are cheerleaders who flash some ass. Despite this universal understanding the Modesto City Gestapo School Board are allowing cheerleaders to be suspended for flashing their panties....
Wilkins Scores 41, Hawks Lose...Seems Familiar
Of course the Wilkins in question is Seattle's Damien, not his uncle Dominique formerly of the Atlanta Hawks. The veteran busted out for 41 points in the Super Sonics second consecutive win on the heels of an 8-game losing streak. Damien's outburst was eventually overshadowed, but you'd think he'd b...
Dennis Dixon Has Balls of Uranium
So it's official, Dennis Dixon tore his ACL ... two weeks ago. So that first quarter touchdown run on Thursday night just went from awesome to unbefuckinglievable....
About Last Night
What you missed while preparing for the end with your comrades... • NBA: LeBron James is really starting to get a hang of this basketball thing. I think he just got fouled again. • CFB: Hawaii pulled one out of their ass without Colt Brennan. Can I go to bed now? Sleep is where I'm a viking. • CBB: ...
It Was Never About Barry, And Of Course It Always Was
The key point to remember in the Barry Bonds indictment that went down yesterday afternoon is that we really don't have any new information. Whatever your thoughts on Bonds, it's clear that the government is out to get him. You might think he deserves it. He probably does. But there is no smoking gu...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your favorite t-shirt commits suicide in the dryer ... • College football: Oregon at Arizona. Ducks march toward a royal screwing when they hand out the bowl bids. [ESPN] • College basketball: 2K Sports College Hoops Classic, semifinals, at New York, Connecticut vs. Gardner-Webb; Me...
Barry Bonds, Consider Yourself Indicted
Well, just when you thought it was safe to bid on a guy who injected cattle steroids: Barry Bonds has been indicted by the BALCO grand jury....
How Hillary Is Like Grandmama
There's another one of those presidential debates tonight — this one's the Democrats, their 592th — and as that race starts to veer toward the more interesting, MSNBC brings up a fun parallel: The candidates are just like early '90s basketball teams....
"Dear Furry Guy ... I Am Sorry I Hit You"
We've already played with "Who's Sorry Now" earlier this morning, but we couldn't help but point out this particularly bit of humiliation: A college hockey player has to write a letter of apology to a mascot....
Marbury Decides Against The Nuclear Option
So Stephon Marbury played for the Knicks on Wednesday — albeit $180,000 lighter in the wallet — saying "I'm positive all the way around. Whatever happened in the past is in the past." Damn it. Apparently some sort of deal with Isiah Thomas was brokered, and the skeletons will remain in the closet....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you teach a raccoon to wash your dishes ... • College football: Akron at Miami (Ohio). Yager shall be rockin'. [ESPN2] • College basketball: North Carolina at Davidson. Playing the Wildcats in Bobcats Arena is no laughing matter. [ESPN] • NBA: Los Angeles Lakers at Houston. Yao smas...
Lelakek Et Ha'etzba'ot!
We are just a few weeks away from the unusually early start of Hanukkah, and we ask: What do you get the Jewish sports fan who has it all? (That is to say, "control of the media.") How about pro sports memorabilia in Hebrew?...
Like Playmakers, But, You Know, NICER
Despite the pleas of Bill Simmons, we've never watched "Friday Night Lights." We're not sure why; maybe we just have too much television in our lives already. Anyway, the show's ratings still aren't improving, and if the writers ever get back to work, the show is expected to be canceled by NBC. But ...
Let The Mardy Collins Era Begin!
Just when you think the New York Knicks can't possibly implode any more dramatically ... they find new and inventive ways to self-immolate. And this one's fun too: There might even be more Isiah Thomas dirt than we had imagined!...
Where In The Heck Is Stephon Marbury?
Seriously, now ... what the heck is going on with the Knicks and Stephon Marbury? One would think, after a team gives a job to the woman you humped in the back of your truck, you'd have a little gratitude. No loyalty in this world, we tell you....
This Tattoo Should Cause No Problems Whatsoever
Know how I know your team is gay? It's, um, tattooed right on your arm there. Let this be a lesson to you kids: Beer, Aussie Rules football and Thai tattoo parlors generally don't mix. That's always been my motto, anyway....
October Was Not Kind To The Bay Area
It's been a rough couple of weeks for sports fans in the ol' Bay Area. The Warriors look to have lost last year's sexy playoff mojo; the 49ers are struggling to even notch a 100 yards per game; and the Raiders keep finding (fairly impressive) ways to giveaway football games....