si Page 973 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while listening to The Sword bring much rock. All will fall! • Women's NCAA Elite Eight: Tennessee vs. Texas A&M, Connecticut vs. Rutgers. Winning teams get free trip to Bristol ... and sanctions! ESPN 7 p.m. • NIT Semifinals, Madison Square Garden: Florida vs. Massachusetts, Mississip...

Obviously, Tom Gordon Didn't Get His Balls Blessed
Yesterday morning, right in front of the Mike Schmidt statue at Citizens Bank Park, the Philadelphia Phillies had their balls blessed by a priest, a rabbi and a pastor with the hopes of giving 2007's team to beat an extra boost of godliness to kick off 2008. Well, God was napping yesterday, as the P...

Hugh Douglas Wants To Kill Me
Being a sports reporter is, at times, an absolutely horrible job. Sure you get to watch games, travel, and interact with athletes, but there is a horrendous downside. (Which is pretty much everything else.) And this is never more disturbingly clear than when a reporter has their first (or 50th ) awf...

Sleep Like Mike
If you've got extra space in your crib and have asked yourself recently, "What's a great way to blow some of my hard-earned cash on a completely unverifiable piece of athlete memorabilia?" then today is yours to rejoice in: You could be the owner of Michael Jordan's old, dirty water bed from when he...

Your AL Central "Preview"
All right, well, the season has supposedly started, though rain on Opening Day has to be some sort of cruel trick from God. So let's wrap up the last division....

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

President Bush's One Night Away From It All
President Bush is never more likable, engaging or, frankly, informed as he is when he's talking about baseball. He lights up, displaying a breadth of knowledge that, uh, we never sense when he's discussing the Al-Anbar Province. He threw out the first pitch at the new Nationals Stadium last night an...

About Last Night
What you missed while overdosing on Mad magazine fold-ins ... • College basketball: That girl from human resources who has pictures of her cat taped to her computer and picks all the favorites every year is leading your office pool. • NBA: Whoa, big traffic jam in the West; looks like you're gonna b...

Earth Hour? How's About Earth 20 Minutes? Preferably During Halftime
As Awful Announcing points out, at 8 p.m. this evening the fine leafy folks at the World Wildlife Fund are asking everyone to turn off nonessential lights (does a strobe light count?) to call attention to climate change. Of course, they couldn't've asked us to do that in, say, mid-February when the...

Your NL East "Preview"
As mentioned in New York Magazine this week, the Mets have a promotional flyer that says "It's Time For A Little Revenge." As NY Mag pointed out ... hey, you're the ones who choked....

President Bush Would Never Associate With Such Unsavory Characters
The mainland Major League Baseball season kicks off Sunday night, with the Nationals opening their new stadium. President Bush is slated to throw out the first pitch. Usually, he throws it to the home team's starting catcher. Unfortunately for him, this year the home team starting catcher is all ov...

Um, Someone Tell The Italian Sausage That He's Doing It Wrong
Hey, they told me that there would be no food allowed on the ski lift. Thank you Home Run Derby, for making us laugh at costumed baseball mascots attempting winter sports once again....

Sweet 16 Pants Party: Wisconsin Vs. Davidson
Wisconsin Badgers (31-4) vs. Davidson Wildcats (28-6) When: 7:10, tonight Where: Detroit...

Dolan And Isiah Are BFF, Got It?
So to get you up to speed, Chikezie is out on American Idol, but Isiah Thomas has avoided elimination with the Knicks. Of course it doesn't seem fair, but that's the world we live in. According to the New York Daily News, owner James Dolan and Thomas are inseparable pals, like Crockett and Tubbs on ...

Your NL West "Preview"
Question: Anybody else buy the MLB Extra Innings package? They're eventually gonna update that schedule with games, right? Our cable system is still showing nothing ... and the season starts Monday, doggone it!...

Your NL Central "Preview"
OK, now before you start hollering, no, we did not pick the Cardinals to win the division. And yes, that's the first time that's happened since we started this here site....

STF's Midwest Regional Preview
Now that we are down to just sixteen teams, STF will profile each Regional lineup to see how we got here, what the Sweet 16 really means to each participating school, and who has the best chance to advance to San Antonio. The second of two today, here's the Midwest....

So, Does Anybody REALLY Care About Jose Canseco And Alex Rodriguez?
So something interesting happened yesterday, in the wake of all those Canseco stories. The "mainstream" sports world went nuts — poor Joe Lavin, the guy who bought the book, found his name on the freaking ESPN crawl — but you guys, the actual sports fans out there, responded with shoulder shrugs and...

Your AL West "Preview"
Well, this is kind of cheating, considering the Oakland A's already played this morning, and lost, but we hope that having 1/162 of the season over already won't make you distrust our predictions any more than you already do....

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......