soccer Page 142 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Goat Wants To Be Club's New Goalkeeper; Mean Greeks Cut Short His Tryout
Look, maybe trying out for the team mid-match shows some bad timing on the goat’s part, but let my man at least try to make a couple saves. His positioning looks impeccable, and forwards are going to think twice before challenging for balls in the air knowing horns like that are aimed at their ribca...
This Is The Soccer Flop To End All Soccer Flops
Leeds United took on Derby County over the weekend, and that's not at all interesting except for the fact that the game gave us a truly glorious flop....
Violence Erupts At Jalisco Stadium After Monterrey Knocks Off Atlas
Atlas and Monterrey supporters clashed with each other and police following tonight's 2-0 Monterrey win that moved Los Rayados into the Liga MX playoff semifinals. Univision Deportes reported multiple police suffered injuries, while others formed a protective shield around Monterrey supporters to pr...
Kevin Mirallas's Beautiful Curling Goal Was Right Out Of A Video Game
After a well-cleared cross from a free kick near the box, Everton's Kevin Mirallas collected the ball and crushed this shot, bending it perfectly into the far corner of Tottenham's goal. You can almost feel how hard he was squeezing the finesse shot button....
Argentine Soccer Broadcaster Is A Rollercoaster Of Emotions
Make sure you have turned YouTube's closed captioning on, and then watch this glorious video of an Argentine second division match from February. When Talleres de Córdoba scores in the 89th minute, the homer broadcaster sings a lyrical description straight out of Galeano (well, not quite). When Almi...
Manchester City's Messiah Sergio Agüero Pulls Another Resurrection Act
Twenty minutes into Manchester City's crucial home Champions League match against Bayern Munich on Tuesday, it looked like everything had broken right for the English champions. Earlier in the day, in the other matchup in City's group, Roma somehow contrived to draw a game they really should've won,...
Watch Messi Break The All-Time La Liga Scoring Record
Lionel Messi became the top scorer in La Liga history with this 72nd minute goal against Sevilla, his second of the game. It was Messi's 252nd league goal, which topped Athletic Bilbao legend Telmo Zarra's 251, who did most of his damage in the 1940s. A few minutes later Messi got his hat trick, s...
Why Is This Small Man Attempting To Assault Me?
It appears Jack Wilshere never learned the old "the bigger they come, they harder they fall" adage....
Here's Wayne Rooney's Cute Little Son Doing A Cute Little Cartwheel
After his second goal in the England-Scotland match earlier this week, Wayne Rooney celebrated by doing a cartwheel. Today, he revealed the inspiration behind the move by posting an Instagram video of his son Kai's favorite new move:...
Zinedine Zidane No Longer Has To Pretend Not To Coach Team He Coaches
A couple months ago, we told you about how Zinedine Zidane, manager of Real Madrid Castilla, was under investigation for not having the proper coaching qualifications. The Frenchman had two ways to fight the impending punishment: either cadge up the qualifications or deny that he was actually the ma...
Xabi Alonso Forced To Apologize To Ronaldo For Stupid, Fake Controversy
Remember that dumb story Real Madrid pitched to their stooges at Marca yesterday, where some milquetoast statements of Xabi Alonso's were folded, kneaded, and ultimately transformed into direct insults to former teammates Cristiano Ronaldo and Iker Casillas? Well, it worked....
Shitty Swiss Team Cuts 11 Players After Youth Team Blows Them Out 10-0
FC Grenchen, of Switzerland's fourth division, suck at soccer. In their last nine matches, they've collected all of zero points while shipping 66—yes, 66—goals, 10 of which came at the feet of FC Luzern's youth squad. Following that horrific result, Grenchen's sporting director decided to cut 11 pla...
Wigan Owner Doubles Down On New Manager's Racism And Antisemitism
Wigan Athletic courted controversy this week by hiring Malky Mackay, who is under investigation by the FA for assorted bigoted and offensive text messages that were sent more than a year ago but came to light over the summer. Wigan owner Dave Whelan spoke with the Guardian today, and offered a defen...
DC Comics Claims Valencia's New Crest Looks Too Much Like Batman Logo
Holy intellectual property law, Batman, why are you beefing with this Spanish soccer team?...
Ivory Coast Fans Mob Pitch As Team Qualifies For Africa Cup Of Nations
Ivory Coast took on Cameroon at home in Abidjan today, in their final match of 2015 Africa Cup of Nations qualification. With three minutes of stoppage time left, and both teams assured of qualifying with a 0-0 draw, Cameroon was content to let the Ivory Coast pass the ball around unmolested....
French Club Suspected Of Bribing Opponents With Cases Of Wine Mid-Match
French officials have arrested the club presidents of newly promoted Ligue 1 side Caen and Ligue 2 club Nîmes for their suspected involvement in fixing a match at the end of last year's Ligue 2 season. What did the Caen players receive for their services? According to one report, cases of wine deliv...
Despots, Serial Killers, And Dick Jokes: <em>Football Manager</em>'s Banned Names
From the sheer number of funny names assigned to the randomly generated players in Football Manager, you may have assumed there is no filter on name combinations. And while you may have seen a "Willy Pinas" or two, you haven't seen a "Adolf Hitler," "Tim McVeigh," or a "Dick Licka" for a good reas...
German Football League Threatens FIFA Over Unreleased World Cup Report
FIFA finally released a summary of their report into the bidding process for the 2018 and 2022 World Cups, and to the surprise of absolutely nobody it basically cleared Qatar, Russia, and current FIFA officials of any wrongdoing. The 42-page report was written by FIFA ethics committee judge Hans-Joa...
Argentine Club President Runs Up In Players' Homes 40 Deep, Robs Them
Jorge Abib is the club president of Argentina's Textil Mandiyú. He is insane. Why, just last night, multiple Textil players accused a possibly drugged-up Abib of rolling up to the players' apartment building with around 40 club ultras, busting into dozens of rooms, and breaking everything in sight w...