soccer Page 246 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Didier Drogba's Boobsy Birthday Cake (NSFW)
The Chelsea striker celebrated his 33rd birthday over the weekend at Il Bottacio in London, a big-name affair featuring appearances by Ashley Cole, Florent Malouda, William Gallas, Michael Essien and more. But the real star was Drogba's birthday cake, featuring him riding dirty with a trio of naked ...

Let's Revisit The Time A Portuguese Goalie Brought Kung Fu Flair To A Romanian Soccer Game
When F.C. Astra Ploiesti faces CFR Cluj 1907 in some Romanian league action tomorrow, it will be a rematch of the 2009 match in which Cluj goalkeeper Nuno Claro drove his spikes into the chest of Astra's Georgian Paun. Alas, Paun now plays for Dinamo Bucureşti now so it's probably not worth tracki...

Here's Video Of A Pretty Goal From The Land Of The 2022 World Cup
Sure, Al Rayyan may have ultimately beaten Al Gharafa in their Qatar Stars League match today. But Gharafa's Juninho had a free-kick goal worthy of the highlight reel. It's really nothing new for Juninho, a Brazilian in the end stages of a professional career during which he established a reputati...

Here's Video Of Men Dressed As Women Fighting Inside A San Diego Taco Shop
Your morning roundup for March 12, a day of nuclear-plant explosions, talk of Supermoons vs. the Pacific Plate, recovery efforts and aftershocks....

"Hermit" Found Living Under Seats In Aston Villa Stadium
He's being called the "terrace tramp" and the "hermit of the Holte End." He was either homeless or pathologically devoted to Aston Villa. He managed to avoid guards and security cameras while building a cardboard shelter in the guts of the stadium, even as thousands of fans packed the Premier League...

Here's Video Of Some Hardcore Nut Grabbing In A South American Soccer Match
As everyone already knows, Penarol (of Uruguay) defeated Liga de Quito (of Ecuador) 1-0 in their Copa Libertadores match in Montevideo yesterday. Twas a fine victory which moved Penarol atop their group in the South American Football Confederation's tournament. But that wasn't enough for Penarol b...

Man We've Never Heard Of Scores On Bicycle Kick We'd Never Dream Of
In a match between Talleres de Cordoba and Alumni in Argentina's third division on Monday, Claudio Riano juggled a ball and then delivered a chilena, if you will, to even the score at 1-1. Talleres went on to win 3-2. Riano's finish is a contender for goal of the year, along with Wayne Rooney's bi...

Here's A Beautiful Animation Of Gareth Bale's Play Against Inter Milan
An animator named Richard Swarbrick made this tribute to Tottenham's Gareth Bale, the 21 year-old star of Spurs. The video uses Bale's highlights from two matches against Inter Milan this season — the first, a 4-3 loss on October 20 in which Bale scored a hat trick in the second half, and the seco...

Big Alabama Fan Catfish Strother Thinks An Auburn Supporter Might Could've Poisoned His Oak Tree
Your morning roundup for March 10, the day that a big-and-wide guy gets called to task for playing fast-and-loose with his words....

Does Rubbish Refereeing Ruin Soccer? Debating The Dumbest Red Card Ever
The Spoiler is never one to jump on a bandwagon, in fact, we still love Nick Clegg, we don't think the Kings of Leon have, like, totally sold out and some of our best friends are bankers....

Belgian Goalie Forgets How To Throw At The Worst Possible Time, Assists Opponent's Goal
Sammy Bossut, goalkeeper for Zulte-Waregem in the Belgian Pro League, pulled down a corner kick in a match against Lokeren over the weekend and, channeling a certain Giants quarterback, held onto the ball a little too long in his attempt to throw it down-field. Zulte-Waregem lost 2-1....

Here's Video Of Messi's Pretty Goal From Today's Barca-Arsenal Match
FC Barcelona defeated Arsenal 3-1 this evening in Camp Nou. Lionel Messi scored twice — first on this pretty self-assist over the goalkeeper's head just before halftime, and second on a penalty kick in the 71st minute of play. With a 4-3 lead over Arsenal on aggregate, Barcelona will now go on to ...

Soccer Player Tackles Streaker, Gets Red Carded For His Trouble
Come with us to Conference South, the sixth level of the English football pyramid. During yesterday's game, Dorchester Town defender/manager Ashley Vickers was sent off for bringing down a mankini-wearing fan. It's hard to blame him: Conference South security apparently consists of calling the loc...

A Message From Sepp Blatter On International Women's Day
I suppose we should have expected Sepp Blatter to hoist himself onto a soapbox this morning. It is, after all, the 100th anniversary of International Women's Day, which means it's also a perfect opportunity for Blatter to bleat some of the shameless agitprop for which he's beloved:...

Some Videos Of Football People Weeping And Wailing
The Spoiler is feeling all emotional this Monday, but as we're unable to find our copy of The Notebook, we've decided to reminisce about players and managers, past and present, who've shed salty tears of despair over The Beautiful Game....

Man U Player Suffers "Horrific Injury That Cut To The Bone"
It wasn't quite Lawrence Taylor meets Joe Theismann's leg, but Manchester United's Nani suffered a pretty gnarly leg injury during today's 3-1 loss to Liverpool....

Women Surfers Shouldn't Be Judged By The Beauty Of Their Skin, But By Their Talent On The Board
Your morning roundup for March 6, a day of toeing the "No shark's fin soup, you're cheap" classist line....

German Fan Violence Turns Underwhelming Soccer Match Into Overwhelming Soccer Scene
Today's Bundesliga match between Kaiserslautern and Frankfurt had all the makings of an exercise in excessive boredom. Frankfurt hasn't scored in eight games; Kaiserslautern hasn't won a match in 2011....

Infidelity Mars, Spices Up Dallas Kickball Game
Your morning roundup for March 5, the day after a "terrible guy" felt like a "wonderful fellow."...

Kicking A Fan In The Face Is Eric Cantona's Most Treasured Memory
Cantona, on his famous flying kick of an abusive fan: "I think that maybe it's like a dream for some people sometimes, to kick these kinds of people. So I did it for them. So they are happy." [The First Post]...