soccer Page 247 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Watch LeBron Throw The Ball Right In Chris Bosh's Face, Blow A 24-Point Lead
Your morning roundup for March 4, the day Northwestern students remain engaged in the idea of human sexuality....

Every Last Player And Coach Got Red Carded In A Single Soccer Match In Argentina
Quite a bit of scrapping went down in a recent Argentinian lower-level soccer match between Claypole and Victoriano Arenas. So much scrapping that referee Damien Rubino issued 36 red cards. One was for bad behavior during the halftime break....

Celtic V Rangers Madness — Everyone Goes Crazy!
El Hadji Diouf playing for Rangers against Celtic. What could go wrong?...

Rich Eisen Sets Personal Best In The 40, Still Loses To Slowest NFL Combine Participant
Your morning roundup for March 3, the day NFL lockout talk gets real....

Chelsea Owner Roman Abramovich Relieved To Still Have The World's Biggest Symbolic Penis
Thought we couldn't put a sports spin on the recent revelation that Teodoro Nguema Obiang Mangue, the son of the dictator of Equatorial Guinea, had commissioned a yacht with a movie theater on board? Wrong....

When Life Hands You Torrential Downpours, Make Your Soccer Stadium A Water Park
On Monday, a soccer game between Brazil's Sao Paulo and Palmeiras at Morumbi Stadium was delayed a few hours due to very heavy rain. The fans who showed up early did not let it spoil the party, and treated the 80,000-seat facility like a giant water park for the entire game, which ended in a 1-1 d...

Soccer Player Who Killed Fluffy, Defenseless Owl May Get Jail Time
Luis Moreno, the defender for Deportivo Pereira of Colombia's Primara A who kicked an opposing club's pet owl off the field on Sunday, could get up to three months of jail time for the incident. The owl was treated for traumatic stress at Zoosalud veterinary clinic in Barranquilla, Colombia, but die...

American Brutalizes Canada With Sensational Goal In Jamaica
Nathan Smith, defender from California, robbed Canada of its desire to compete and live on Sunday when he scored this incredible goal during extra time of the 2011 CONCACAF U-17 championship in Montego Bay, Jamaica. The goal broke the 450-minute shutout streak of Canadian keeper Maxime Crepeau, wh...

Italian Soccer Team Takes Giant Dump All Over Sportsmanship
Yes, we know that headline sounds redundant. But check out what Lega Pro (third tier) side Foggia pulled off yesterday. Down a goal with five minutes remaining, a Foggia player went down "injured." As is customary, Gela kicked the ball out to give him a chance to recover. But Foggia rushed a throw...

Here's A Soccer Player Kicking A Defenseless Fluffy Owl In The Face
This is a clip from a Sunday match between Junior Barranquilla and Deportivo Pereira of Colombia's Primara A. The owl, which is apparently Junior's club pet, made it on to the field in the middle of play and Pereira defender Luis Moreno swiftly booted it three meters off the field. Moreno hasn't b...

Rip Hamilton Yelled At Coach John Kuester So Hard The Younger Pistons Were Mortified
Your morning roundup for Feb. 27, the day that Earth's show-business sect finally recognizes all that Queen Amidala of Naboo has done for them, and for all the rebellion....

Soccer Medic Helps Others Through The Healing Power Of Somersaults
Here he comes to save the day. That means Daniel de Sousa Araújo, medic for Brazilian soccer team Comercial-PI, is on the way. This video's from a Copa do Brasil game earlier this week. He takes the time to show off his rather-subpar gymkata moves before tending to an injured player....

The Detroit Pistons Went With A Malcontent-Free Six-Man Roster Last Night
Your morning roundup for Feb. 26, the day San Francisco starts looking for messages in the snow....

MLS Playoffs To Admit More Good Teams, Bad Teams, Possibly Your Grandmother
Getting into the MLS playoffs this year will be about as difficult as securing admission to the dogshit community college down the road from you. That's because the wise men who run the MLS have decided to let two more crap teams into a playoff system that not only confuses foreign players accustome...

Everything Right With Soccer, In Three Minutes Of Incredible Non-Dives
Technically, Barcelona and Argentina forward Lionel Messi dove a few times, in a literal sense, as he was hip-checked, tripped up and otherwise impeded by lesser talents. Problem is, Messi missed several opportunities to flail about to pad his stat sheet. He is the Best Soccer Player On Earth....

Sepp Blatter Never Met A Disaster He Couldn't Exploit
When we named Sepp Blatter one of the 10 worst men in sports earlier this month, we were being kind. Blatter's repugnance extends well beyond sports. He runs FIFA like a Swiss bank, hoovering up billions of dollars and disbursing them in ways that remain as mysterious as they sound dubious. And all ...

Everything Wrong With Soccer, In One Incredible Dive
Technically, Chilean U20 defender Bryan Carrasco didn't dive, as he was definitely struck by the Ecuadorian player. Problem is, Carrasco literally smacked himself in the face with the other player's arm. He received a free kick....

Gay Poles Want Separate Seating At Euro 2012 Games
Rainbow Stand 2012 (aka Teczowa Trybuna 2012) bills itself as the Polish national soccer team's first gay fan club. And who knows, maybe they are. Per the Warsaw Business Journal, members have asked UEFA for separate seating during the Euro 2012 tournament which will be played in Poland and the Ukr...

Caltech Basketball Win Raises Record To 1-310 In Last 311 Conference Games
Your morning roundup for Feb. 23, the day Rahm Emanuel starts cursing at the phrase "staggering unfunded pension liabilities."...

Barcelona Players Tripped Up By Language Barrier
The most amusing thing about this jokey dubbed-over video is that it's probably accurate. Ibrahim Affelay is from Holland, the new signing by Barcelona, potentially a good one and clearly not versed in Catalan. Is nobody studying Dutch in grade school anymore?...