soccer Page 248 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
MLS Playoffs To Admit More Good Teams, Bad Teams, Possibly Your Grandmother
Getting into the MLS playoffs this year will be about as difficult as securing admission to the dogshit community college down the road from you. That's because the wise men who run the MLS have decided to let two more crap teams into a playoff system that not only confuses foreign players accustome...
Everything Right With Soccer, In Three Minutes Of Incredible Non-Dives
Technically, Barcelona and Argentina forward Lionel Messi dove a few times, in a literal sense, as he was hip-checked, tripped up and otherwise impeded by lesser talents. Problem is, Messi missed several opportunities to flail about to pad his stat sheet. He is the Best Soccer Player On Earth....
Sepp Blatter Never Met A Disaster He Couldn't Exploit
When we named Sepp Blatter one of the 10 worst men in sports earlier this month, we were being kind. Blatter's repugnance extends well beyond sports. He runs FIFA like a Swiss bank, hoovering up billions of dollars and disbursing them in ways that remain as mysterious as they sound dubious. And all ...
Everything Wrong With Soccer, In One Incredible Dive
Technically, Chilean U20 defender Bryan Carrasco didn't dive, as he was definitely struck by the Ecuadorian player. Problem is, Carrasco literally smacked himself in the face with the other player's arm. He received a free kick....
Gay Poles Want Separate Seating At Euro 2012 Games
Rainbow Stand 2012 (aka Teczowa Trybuna 2012) bills itself as the Polish national soccer team's first gay fan club. And who knows, maybe they are. Per the Warsaw Business Journal, members have asked UEFA for separate seating during the Euro 2012 tournament which will be played in Poland and the Ukr...
Caltech Basketball Win Raises Record To 1-310 In Last 311 Conference Games
Your morning roundup for Feb. 23, the day Rahm Emanuel starts cursing at the phrase "staggering unfunded pension liabilities."...
Barcelona Players Tripped Up By Language Barrier
The most amusing thing about this jokey dubbed-over video is that it's probably accurate. Ibrahim Affelay is from Holland, the new signing by Barcelona, potentially a good one and clearly not versed in Catalan. Is nobody studying Dutch in grade school anymore?...
Newspaper Actually Photoshops Out Player To Make Play Appear Offside
We take it for granted that our local media outlets are going to be homers, and that's generally fine. We're fans, and we want to get coverage from our perspective. But no one can complain about Hawk Harrelson after seeing how a Spanish paper airbrushed a crucial player from a photo to make an erron...
Ronaldo Wore Diapers? Sure, Why Not.
The recently-retired legend wasn't always Fat Ronaldo. Way back in 1999, he was simply struggling-with-his-weight Ronaldo, allegedly taking diet pills that forced him to wear adult diapers during games....
Chelsea Won't Be Winning The FA Cup, Either
Rough season at Stamford Bridge for the Chelsea Football Club. The Blues are sitting in fifth place in the EPL after winning the league last year. Then came today, when it looked like they had a decent shot to advance to the fifth round of the F.A. Cup after taking a 1-0 lead halfway into extra ti...
Someone Does A Handball, And Everyone Goes Mental
The Spoiler hasn't felt this sorry for a linesperson since Sian Massey's career was stalled thanks to a couple of old sexists and those well-meaning tabloids with their lovely headlines and ability to get pictures off Facebook....
Goalkeeper Gets Sent Off After 10 Seconds Of Terrible Soccer
Ebbsfleet goalkeeper Preston Edwards was sent-off, but the true villain of the piece is the left-back. No.3 — damn right you should hold your head in your hands....
Grant Wahl's FIFA Candidacy Is Stupid, And That's Kind Of The Point
SI's Grant Wahl has announced his intentions to run for President of FIFA against Sepp Blatter when Blatter's term expires in June. It's a big joke, of course — a man without any executive experience. The sad part is that it's less of a joke than Blatter seeking a fourth term....
Don Mattingly Will Stop At Nothing To Find A World Series Ring
Your morning roundup for Feb. 16, a day after a guy from Texas retired from riding bicycles while wearing tights. Again....
Topless Italian Soccer Player Headbutts Fully Dressed British Coach
Tottenham Hotspur traveled to Italy to face AC Milan in the UEFA equivalent of the Sweet Sixteen today. It was a chippy game which Tottenham won after Aaron Lennon broke away and assisted Peter Crouch on the game's lone goal with about 10 minutes left....
How To Get Arrested And Banned From Soccer: Pretend You're An Airplane!
Not just any airplane, mind you, but the one from the Munich air disaster which killed eight Manchester United players in 1958. So when a fan of Crawley Town was spotted making airplane gestures in a team-sponsored music video ahead of Crawley's FA Cup match against Man U, it caused some fuss....
A Nostalgic Look At Some Brilliant Goals From 1993-94
There's no real reason for this clip other than the fact it made The Spoiler weep salty tears of nostalgia — it's only the bloody Goal of the Season competition from 1994! And Matt Le Tissier didn't even win!...
The Real Ronaldo Decides To Call It A Day
The Spoiler was just a whipper-snapper when Ronaldo first came to our attention and he absolutely blew our tiny little mind. He was unbelievably strong, quick and skilful — he's what Jonah Lomu could've been if he'd not lived in New Zealand and made the right life choices....
Now Even Soccer Goalies Are Making Impressive Trick Shot Videos
Lassi Hurskainen, the junior goalkeeper at D-I UNC-Ashville, made a nice highlight video. You may remember him as the Finnish keeper who scored on an 80-yard free kick last summer....
Croatian Soccer Fans Turn The Sky Red For Their Team
Croatia's oldest football club, Hajduk Split, turned 100 this weekend. So, fans appeared to storm the castle and torch everything in sight. Or something like that....