soccer Page 279 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Coach's Foot Attacked by Deranged Panamanian Groin
Things got ugly during yesterday's match between Panama and Mexico. I'm not one for pointing fingers, but I'm guessing that the Mexican coach making for this guy's groin (while the ball was in play) didn't exactly defuse the situation....
ESPN: The British Invasion
ESPN is creating a new UK-based channel in order to broadcast the live Premier League matches they now own the rights to. If "First Take" ends up on the schedule, this could destroy the NATO alliance. [Guardian, via Sports Hernia]...
Cristiano Ronaldo Stars In World's Largest Press Conference
Almost 80,000 people showed up at Real Madrid's stadium last night just to watch Cristiano Ronaldo try on a shirt. I'm starting to suspect that you don't love your favorite team enough....
Racist European Soccer Fans, Go Sit In A Corner
"A referee should first demand over the public address system that fans stop their racist behavior. If they fail to do so, the game should be suspended for five to 10 minutes, with teams sent to the locker rooms." [AP]...
I Got Sol But I'm Not A Soldier
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Mobster Doesn't Take Kindly To Soccer Players Who Insult His Girlfriend
It must have stung Bulgarian goaltender Nikolay Mihailov when his Playmate model girlfriend dumped him for a notorious mob boss—but it probably stings even more when the mob boss decides to attack you with acid....
So We All Still Love Soccer Now, Right?
Does anyone know when the next USA soccer game is? Because unless it's this Wednesday*, I'm guessing our nation may have trouble parlaying the magical Confederations Cup showing into a nationwide love affair with the sport....
Brazilians. Yankees. Open Thread (Holy Crap, We're Winning Tied Losing We Lost)
It's the first annual Thrillerbowl, as the U.S. goes for their biggest soccer win ever. (Were you born in 1950? I didn't think so.) Follow in the comments, check the liveblogs, and watch out for the bees. [ESPN/Unprofessional Foul/Sporting News]...
How The U.S. Can Wipe The Floor With Brazil
Bob Bradley must be slightly busy right now trying to prepare his team to pull off another upset of a superior squad. Toilet-papering one of Brazil's finest is probably a strategy he hasn't considered....
The Other Wins That Were Supposed To Change U.S. Soccer
United States 2, Spain 0. "Probably the greatest victory" in U.S. Soccer history. History-making. The one that will change the future of soccer in the country, right? It can join the club....
Egyptian Press Reports What Really Happened In That South Africa Hotel Room
In Egypt, which lacks a free press, the government can try to make a scandal dissipate just by using politically correct language. Case in point: apparently, the translation for "possibly-money-stealing-and-home-wrecking prostitutes" is "girls."...
The United States-Spain Aftermath: Fun With Google Translations
"Suddenly, the fluid Xavi football, friendships imaginative patent associations disappeared. United States, with its two lines that tightened the nuts of a submarine, had sprayed the tiqui-taca."...
The Greatest Upset In The History Of Sports (This Week)
The United States has just flabbergasted the world, ending Spain's 35-match unbeaten streak with a 2-nil shutout of the planet's No. 1 team. Put that in your vuvuzela and blow on it....
The Tiny Plastic Horn That Will Ruin The World Cup
If you've watched the Confederations Cup, you have no doubt been annoyed by the mysterious buzzing sound that drowns out even the TV announcers. Well, get used to it, because that sound will haunt you throughout next year's World Cup....
Iran "Retires" Soccer Players Who Went Green
Four players on the Iranian national team have been banned — err, retired — from competition for wearing green wristbands in their Wednesday match. Two others also defied orders to remove the green gear, and their fate is "unknown." [Guardian]...
One Sporting Event That's Too Dangerous For Bylines
Chances are, you've never been to Myanmar. And correct me if I'm wrong, but you've also never been to a soccer game in Myanmar, because it's Myanmar, and because it's illegal for five people to gather in the same place....
Ice Cream Does Not Belong On Your Face, Kid
Seriously, why is this kid at the Italy-Brazil game rubbing his ice cream bar on his face? Not to sound like a busybody, but where are his parents? I think the state may need to get involved here. [YouTube]...
The Real Reason For Egypt's Soccer Loss?: Thieving Gangs Of Hookers
A 3-0 loss to the hapless United States was embarrassing enough, but Egyptian soccer may be more embarrassed by reports that the team was robbed by prostitutes they brought back to their hotel. At least one explains the other....
The Trials of Willie, The Inflatable Dry-Humping Shark
Willie, the mighty Tiburón, is the air-assisted mascot of a popular junior soccer team in Colombia. Unfortunately, Willie's enthusiasm occasionally gets the better of him and he recently got suspended for disrespecting an opposing team. With his crotch....
Talk Like An Egyptian
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...