If They Were Athletes: The Robots From Mega Man II

You've thought to yourself, "Y'know, those extremely agile and powerful Nintendo characters would be great at sports." But who would they be, if manifested in reality?

Today, we'll look at the eight boss robots from Mega Man II.

Metal Man Dislikes dogs (rules out: Joey Porter) The first person you beat (possibly: Corey Patterson) Throws nowhere near his target (conclusion: Tarvaris Jackson)

Quick Man As the name implies, is speedy (rules out: Dale Earnhardt, Jr.) Carries a boomerang wherever he goes (possibly: Andrew Bogut) Really fast and overbearing (conclusion: Chad Ochocinco)

Flash Man Likes cameras (rules out: Tiger Woods) Causes people to abruptly stop moving (possibly: Bruce Bowen) Lives in a world full of crystals (conclusion: Jeremy Mayfield)

Wood Man Made of wood, and therefore buoyant (rules out: Bison Dele) Lives in a tree (possibly: Darren Pang) Round, surrounded by powerful leaves (conclusion: Nate Newton)

Air Man Can fly (rules out: Knute Rockne) Has a really big fan (possibly: Shawn Johnson) Mostly blows air (conclusion: Curt Schilling)

Heat Man Hot (rules out: Shelden Williams) Lives in a warm, underground climate (possibly: Ty Cobb) Has an orange face (conclusion: Alex Rodriguez)

Crash Man Has dangerous hands (rules out: Jose Canseco) Wears a hard helmet (possibly: John Olerud) Explosive (conclusion: Todd Stottlemyre)

Bubble Man Swims fast (rules out: Terrell Owens) Always wears a sanitary surgical mask, fearing infection (possibly: Darren Daulton) Immobile when the temperature is below freezing (conclusion: Peyton Manning)