soccer Page 301 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Some Of Them Don't Even Look All That Happy
You may hate soccer ... I know this. Still, I promise that these will be six enjoyable minutes internet minutes....
Soon To Be A Major Motion Picture Starring Rob Schneider And David Spade
Well, some elementary school or junior high was lucky enough to land Jesus as its soccer coach, although by the looks of this handsome mural, He has his work cut out for him. Ah well, the first day of practice is usually a feeling-out process for everyone, we're told. We'd also like to thank young D...
Run, Futboler, Run!
We're probably stepping on Mr. Hirshey's toes here, but this above, from yesterday's Champions League game between Inter Milan and Valencia, has all the elements of a great soccer fight. Everyone's just grabbing each other, lightly tapping and hugging, really, until one guy comes in and punches a gu...
This Was Probably Inevitable, When You Think About It
You know, it's kind of amazing to us that nobody brought up this possibility: David Beckham yesterday suffered a possibly serious knee injury....
He Should At Least Be Proud Of His Defense
What better way to spend a weekend than getting some cheap laughs at the expense of a child? The Postmen dug up this YouTube clip of an unlucky youngster who had a very rough few seconds. The second bounce that him in the face... that was just unnecessary, God....
Today In The Premiership...
• Liverpool 0-1 Manchester United. They were playing with then men. Liverpool was controlling most of the play. Things were looking up for Chelsea, who desperately needed Manchester United to stumble... but two minutes into injury time, Cristiano Ronaldo set up for a free kick, it deflected off goal...
Don't Take This Personally, Coach, But ... THWACK!
So often fans throw projectiles — until it's in the air, it's just an object; it's not until it's thrown that it becomes a projectile — from the stands and don't even come close to a reasonable distance from their target. But last night, in a soccer game in Spain, one careening bottle at last found ...
... And Italy Is Awarded Another Penalty Kick
When even French TV announcers are laughing at your attempts to take a dive, perhaps it's time to just consider playing straight up. Even Barry Bonds is looking at this and saying "That's cheating, dude."...
With An Assist From God
The Vatican soccer tournament is underway, in which Priests and seminarians from 16 teams from Catholic insitutes in Rome battle for holy supremacy. Hmm, would Jesus take a dive? What would be His philosophy on swapping his wing men? The scriptures are not clear. But we know one thing: Not only will...
Hirshey: Too Much Drogba
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
Today In The Premiership...
• Fulham 1-2 Manchester United. They exchanged first half goals, Ryan Giggs in 29th minute for United, and Brian McBride in the 17th for Fulham (America, fuck yeah), and played the next 58 minutes at a 1-1 tie. But in the 88th minute, Cristiano Ronaldo felt very pretty and scored her 15th goal of th...
That's How You Celebrate A Goal
Another reason to tentatively, cautiously warm up to soccer: When one of its players beats up a teammate with a golf club for refusing to join him in karaoke, he's not beneath celebrating a goal the next week by swinging an air golf club feverishly. This is like, say, Pacman Jones celebrating a touc...
Hey, Ronaldinho, Why The Long Face?
This is pretty much what you think it is: A "full-size" sculpture of Brazilian soccer star Ronaldinho ... as a regal white horse. It's currently up for bid on eBay, and the price is right too: Only $25,000! (With $2,500 more to ship.)...
Hirshey: Karaoke Hell
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
Karaoke Does Not Bring Liverpool Teammates Together
According to this story (swiped from The Sports Frog), John Arne Riise and Craig Bellamy, teammates at Liverpool, were out with a bunch of teammates last night, having fun at a karaoke bar. Reese's agent, Jan Kvalheim, says the story went a little bit like this:...
Today In The FA Cup...
• Arsenal 0-0 Blackburn. A sluggish performance by Arsenal and a couple of amazing saves by Blackburn goalie Brad Friedel (United States, holla) earned Blackburn a rematch of this one in their own building. Friedel got his hand to a Thierry Henry shot, and then got up quickly to deny Justin Hoyte on...
Zidane Bringing His Lethal Head To Chicago?
I hate to start you off with soccer today... actually, I don't hate it, but I know you do. Anyway, there's talk again that Zinedine Zidane has started up talks with the MLS again. This from the Soccer Insider blog at the Washington Post:...
You, Too, Can Have Your Own Boca Juniors Booster
So here's a grand idea: The notoriously rabid fans of Buenos Aires soccer team Boca Juniors are so renowned for their insane support that they're actually renting themselves out to other countries' teams....
Hey, How Come All We Got Was A Team Ghana Keychain?
German hospitals are reporting a huge upsurge in maternity reservations for the month of April, which happens to be nine months after the 2006 World Cup was hosted in that country. Give us a minute while we figure out what's going on....
Excuse Me Sir, Is That A Beach Ball? <i>Next!</i>
Oh, to have been at the Los Angeles Galaxy soccer tryouts on Saturday; what a glorious display of talent that must have been. They're calling it the Beckham Effect, in which 800 hopefuls from as far away as Japan and Australia showed up for a "chance" to play alongside David Beckham this coming MLS ...