soccer Page 84 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Loss Of Romelu Lukaku Is The Latest Failure Of Chelsea's Youth System
Kevin De Bruyne was irrelevant at Chelsea. At 20 years old, the midfielder was signed from Belgian club Genk for less than seven million pounds, and he proceeded to be a complete non-factor during his year-and-a-half stay. Despite a successful loan spell in the Bundesliga for Werder Bremen, De Bruyn...
![Look At This Fucking Shit [UPDATES]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/hkzdcm2ncpof5plfvewd.png)
Look At This Fucking Shit [UPDATES]
I’m just minding my business watching the biggest sporting event of the day—Peñarol vs. Defensor in the Uruguayan Primera Division, of course—and on comes this ad for a Miami-based company that promises to improve your child’s soccer abilities through DNA sequencing of his or her genome....
![Club Friendly Suspended As Ajax's Abdelhak Nouri Collapses On Pitch [UPDATES]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Club Friendly Suspended As Ajax's Abdelhak Nouri Collapses On Pitch [UPDATES]
Officials suspended a club friendly in Austria between German team Werder Bremen and Dutch side Ajax after 20-year-old Abdelhak Nouri collapsed on the pitch midway through the second half....
Manchester United And Everton Agree To £75 Million Transfer Fee For Romelu Lukaku
After a protracted courtship that featured rival Chelsea tabling their own unsuccessful bid, Manchester United and Everton have reportedly agreed to a £75 million transfer fee that will send Romelu Lukaku to Old Trafford. As part of the transfer, beloved Man Utd. striker Wayne Rooney will go to Ever...
![Brazilian Soccer Club Rocked By Locker-Room Double Handjob Video Scandal [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/waupuq1osdxqsmrj1aif.jpg)
Brazilian Soccer Club Rocked By Locker-Room Double Handjob Video Scandal [NSFW]
Sport Clube Gaucho are a Brazilian third-division side who haven’t been relevant since they briefly made the first division in the 1980s. That changed, though, when four players had their contracts rescinded after a video showing one of them jerking off two of his teammates in the club showers leake...
Horny Italian Soccer Official Wants New Stadiums To Have Lap Dancing
Italian FA president Carlo Tavecchio doesn’t like to see Serie A’s soccer stadiums lag behind others in Europe. Like the modern-day Jerry Worlds of America, or new Wembley in London, he wants Italy’s new pitches to be hubs of community and commerce. At an Anti-Mafia Commission hearing, Tavecchio mad...
Arsenal Finally Buy The Expensive Striker They've Been Needing For Years<em></em>
Gonzalo Higuaín. Edinson Cavani. Luis Suárez. Karim Benzema. Jamie Vardy. Jackson Martínez. Álvaro Morata. Kylian Mbappé. These are just some of the established, expensive star strikers (or young studs on the come up) that Arsenal have been linked to in recent years. During these years, filling the ...
Little British Lads Flip Their Shit After Meeting Manchester United's Jesse Lingard
It’s the sounds these Mancunian tykes make after running up to Manchester United attacker Jesse Lingard’s car—something between wanting to laugh and wanting to cry and wanting to puke—that makes this video:...
Marshawn Lynch's Charity Soccer Performance Was Brief But Brilliant
Members of the Blue squad—facing the Red team in a Seattle-area charity soccer match hosted by former Sounders player Steve Zakuani—probably figured they were in for a nice and easy afternoon of fun even after the notoriously intense Marshawn Lynch strode out onto the pitch. They forgot, though, tha...
Diego Maradona On Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin, And American Imperialism
Diego Maradona was in Russia this past weekend to present the trophy at the Confederations Cup final. Predictably, the media posed a battery of questions to him about the world’s current geopolitical landscape. Here are some of his answers....
Gerard Deulofeu Returns To Barcelona, Which Is Just The Stupidest Idea
Goddammit. You were so close to making it, Gerard, and then you had to go and do this....
Mexico's Marco Fabián Scored A Beautiful, Futile Golazo <em></em>
In the 89th minute of the Confederations Cup semifinal between Mexico and Germany, Mexico substitute Marco Fabián, while standing midway between the halfway line and the penalty box, received a pass off a free kick, stepped up to the ball, and clobbered the hell out of it....
Messi Invited 150 Journalists To His Wedding This Weekend
Lionel Messi is getting married to his longtime partner and the mother of his two children, Antonella Roccuzzo, on Friday in their hometown of Rosario, Argentina. The wedding is every bit the lavish extravaganza you’d expect from the rich and famous, and Messi and co. have ensured the event will be ...
The Best Soccer Story Is This Portuguese Team Accusing A Rival Of Hiring Witch Doctor
Porto and Benfica are the two biggest clubs in Portuguese soccer, and as such harbor a fierce rivalry. There is no step these clubs wouldn’t take in their never ending struggle to best the other. Including, according to Porto’s communications director, resorting to witchcraft....
Miami, Cincinnati Each Upset MLS Teams In U.S. Open Cup Thrillers
In U.S. Open Cup action, second-tier clubs Miami FC and FC Cincinnati each played one of the biggest games of their existence. Miami took on newly formed MLS side Atlanta United, while Cincy battled the second-place MLS Chicago Fire—and both came up winners....
Portugal's Horrendous Penalty Shootout Performance Sends Chile To Confed Cup Final
After a lively though scoreless 120 minutes of Confederations Cup soccer between Portugal and Chile, the South Americans advanced to the final on penalty kicks thanks in part to Claudio Bravo but mostly to Portugal’s penalty takers, who were shockingly bad....
Britain Finally Charges Six People In The 1989 Hillsborough Stadium Disaster
Nearly three decades after 96 soccer fans were suffocated, trampled or crushed to death at Hillsborough stadium during the 1989 FA Cup semifinal match between Liverpool and Nottingham Forest, six people have had criminal charges brought against them for roles played in the disaster and its coverup...
NBC Has Totally Fucked Its Premier League Coverage
Have you been loving NBC’s amazing English Premier League coverage these past few years, as they’ve coupled smart and engaging studio and commentary teams with unparalleled access to the matches through multi-channel broadcasts and a streaming service that brought every single league game live to yo...
How Qatar Used Its Youth Soccer Academy To Influence The World Cup Bidding Process
The Aspire Academy’s listed mission statement is to “develop well educated sports champions” and “foster Qatar society realizing a healthy, active lifestyle.” The Qatari government founded Aspire in 2003, building a state-of-the-art sports complex in Doha with the aim of identifying and training ath...
Even Crutches Can't Stop Gabriel Jesus From Getting Jiggy To Song About Himself
Gabriel Jesus is the best young striker Brazil has produced in a startlingly long time. Obviously, this makes him a big deal back home. Brazilian funk artist MC Nego Blue was so impressed by Jesus’s talents that he penned an entire song, “É Gol” (translation: “It’s a Goal”), about the Manchester Cit...