soccer Page 84 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Wayne Rooney Scores Brilliant Goal In First Game Since Returning To Everton
Wayne Rooney, who made his mark at Everton in grand fashion at the age of 16, is back with his boyhood club after having spent the last 11 years of his career at Manchester United. Today, in a preseason friendly against Gor Mahia in Tanzania, Rooney scored a goal that, while not exactly a rival to h...
The USMNT's C Team Barely Got By Martinique
The USMNT’s Gold Cup match Wednesday night looked easy on paper, even with mostly fringe players getting starts. But the team’s group stage battle against Martinique quickly went from boring to absolutely ridiculous, and the US was relieved to escape with a 3-2 win....
FIFA Executive Chuck Blazer Has Died
Chuck Blazer, an influential and controversial figure in the history of American soccer, has died, as first reported by Jack Bell and confirmed by Andrew Das of the New York Times. He was 72....
Here's 20 Seconds Of Profoundly Terrible Soccer
Remember this 1993 Premier League match between Queens Park Rangers and Manchester City? Me neither, but an Italian magazine broke it down and deemed a portion of it as the worst 20 seconds of soccer ever....
French Guiana Says Fuck It, Starts Ineligible Player In Gold Cup
In last night’s Gold Cup match between French Guiana and Honduras, former Chelsea winger Florent Malouda played the whole 90 minutes for the national team of his native French Guiana, despite having been ruled ineligible before the tournament because he had already capped 80 times for the French nat...
James Rodriguez Escapes Real Madrid's Bench For Bayern Munich
At the 2014 World Cup, James Rodriguez appeared to cement himself as the next international superstar. Scoring six goals in five matches, including one of the best of the year, James won the Golden Boot and immediately caught the attention of Real Madrid. The La Liga giants bought him from Monaco fo...
What Are Chelsea Doing With Diego Costa?
After missing out on Everton’s Romelu Lukaku, the second-best goalscorer in the Premier League last season, it seemed that Chelsea’s next-best option would be to stick with the striker they already have—Diego Costa, who scored 22 goals in 42 games in 2016-17. Other strikers, including Real Madrid’s ...
The Loss Of Romelu Lukaku Is The Latest Failure Of Chelsea's Youth System
Kevin De Bruyne was irrelevant at Chelsea. At 20 years old, the midfielder was signed from Belgian club Genk for less than seven million pounds, and he proceeded to be a complete non-factor during his year-and-a-half stay. Despite a successful loan spell in the Bundesliga for Werder Bremen, De Bruyn...
![Look At This Fucking Shit [UPDATES]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/hkzdcm2ncpof5plfvewd.png)
Look At This Fucking Shit [UPDATES]
I’m just minding my business watching the biggest sporting event of the day—Peñarol vs. Defensor in the Uruguayan Primera Division, of course—and on comes this ad for a Miami-based company that promises to improve your child’s soccer abilities through DNA sequencing of his or her genome....
![Club Friendly Suspended As Ajax's Abdelhak Nouri Collapses On Pitch [UPDATES]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Club Friendly Suspended As Ajax's Abdelhak Nouri Collapses On Pitch [UPDATES]
Officials suspended a club friendly in Austria between German team Werder Bremen and Dutch side Ajax after 20-year-old Abdelhak Nouri collapsed on the pitch midway through the second half....
Manchester United And Everton Agree To £75 Million Transfer Fee For Romelu Lukaku
After a protracted courtship that featured rival Chelsea tabling their own unsuccessful bid, Manchester United and Everton have reportedly agreed to a £75 million transfer fee that will send Romelu Lukaku to Old Trafford. As part of the transfer, beloved Man Utd. striker Wayne Rooney will go to Ever...
![Brazilian Soccer Club Rocked By Locker-Room Double Handjob Video Scandal [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/waupuq1osdxqsmrj1aif.jpg)
Brazilian Soccer Club Rocked By Locker-Room Double Handjob Video Scandal [NSFW]
Sport Clube Gaucho are a Brazilian third-division side who haven’t been relevant since they briefly made the first division in the 1980s. That changed, though, when four players had their contracts rescinded after a video showing one of them jerking off two of his teammates in the club showers leake...
Horny Italian Soccer Official Wants New Stadiums To Have Lap Dancing
Italian FA president Carlo Tavecchio doesn’t like to see Serie A’s soccer stadiums lag behind others in Europe. Like the modern-day Jerry Worlds of America, or new Wembley in London, he wants Italy’s new pitches to be hubs of community and commerce. At an Anti-Mafia Commission hearing, Tavecchio mad...
Arsenal Finally Buy The Expensive Striker They've Been Needing For Years<em></em>
Gonzalo Higuaín. Edinson Cavani. Luis Suárez. Karim Benzema. Jamie Vardy. Jackson Martínez. Álvaro Morata. Kylian Mbappé. These are just some of the established, expensive star strikers (or young studs on the come up) that Arsenal have been linked to in recent years. During these years, filling the ...
Little British Lads Flip Their Shit After Meeting Manchester United's Jesse Lingard
It’s the sounds these Mancunian tykes make after running up to Manchester United attacker Jesse Lingard’s car—something between wanting to laugh and wanting to cry and wanting to puke—that makes this video:...
Marshawn Lynch's Charity Soccer Performance Was Brief But Brilliant
Members of the Blue squad—facing the Red team in a Seattle-area charity soccer match hosted by former Sounders player Steve Zakuani—probably figured they were in for a nice and easy afternoon of fun even after the notoriously intense Marshawn Lynch strode out onto the pitch. They forgot, though, tha...
Diego Maradona On Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin, And American Imperialism
Diego Maradona was in Russia this past weekend to present the trophy at the Confederations Cup final. Predictably, the media posed a battery of questions to him about the world’s current geopolitical landscape. Here are some of his answers....
Gerard Deulofeu Returns To Barcelona, Which Is Just The Stupidest Idea
Goddammit. You were so close to making it, Gerard, and then you had to go and do this....
Mexico's Marco Fabián Scored A Beautiful, Futile Golazo <em></em>
In the 89th minute of the Confederations Cup semifinal between Mexico and Germany, Mexico substitute Marco Fabián, while standing midway between the halfway line and the penalty box, received a pass off a free kick, stepped up to the ball, and clobbered the hell out of it....
Messi Invited 150 Journalists To His Wedding This Weekend
Lionel Messi is getting married to his longtime partner and the mother of his two children, Antonella Roccuzzo, on Friday in their hometown of Rosario, Argentina. The wedding is every bit the lavish extravaganza you’d expect from the rich and famous, and Messi and co. have ensured the event will be ...