sox Page 80 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jon Lester Is Unbreakable
From Victor Conte and Barry Bonds to Brian McNamee and Roger Clemens, baseball has given us every reason in the world lately to be cynical, and yet we are not. The reason for that became evident once again on Monday night in Boston, when Jon Lester — who had beaten cancer just over a year ago — thre...
Talking To Manny's High Five Friend
Whatever your thoughts about Manny Ramirez and the Boston Red Sox, you had to love Manny's wild, patented "great catch, followed by high five, followed by doubling off a runner from first base" play from Wednesday. It was a signature Manny moment; insane, absurd, joyous. But what about the fan he hi...
Ah, The Cultural Rewards Of Major League Baseball
The life of a Japanese player, when assimilated into a Major League Baseball clubhouse, can be difficult. You have to learn parts of other languages, deal with cultural differences you hadn't anticipated and, mostly, deal with the odd duck that is Jonathan Papelbon....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while wishing you had Dumbo's mom......
Papelbon's Control Goes On The Lam
Mike Lamb, he of the .213 average and no homers in 94 at-bats, was the latest to victimize the Red Sox closer, who has blown back-to-back saves. That leaves him one short of his mark through all of last season. Papelbon opened the 9th by allowing a single to Delmon Young, who advanced to third on a...
Guys And Dolls: Floyd, White Sox Back On Top
The inflatable sex doll community was shocked on Tuesday night when Chicago's Gavin Floyd once again lost a no-hitter in the late going; giving up a double to the Twins' Joe Mauer with one out in the ninth. (Inset: "Nooooo!"). Bobby Jenks came on to get the final two outs in the White Sox's 7-1 vic...
Heidi Watney Makes It Through Her First Night Unscathed
Heidi Watney, much ballyhooed as the new NESN reporter of record for her, well, her Watney-ness, had her first on-air duties last night as the Red Sox talking lady of record. Red Sox bloggers all gave her passing grades for her first night's work....
White Sox Locker Room Is Not A Safe Environment For Women, Real Or Inflatable
Ozzie Guillen and the White Sox are now in the midst of being criticized (again) by some sports writers and the Association For Women In Sports Media for their creative blow-up doll, slump-busting shrine. The Association said said the shrine creates an "uncomfortable" environment for female sports w...
Dice-K Takes That Sniffling, Sneezing, Aching, Coughing, Stuffy-head, Fever, So-You-Can-Still-Beat-The-Tigers Medicine
Yeah, well don't get too smug, Tigers' fans. Considering that you started the season 0-7, and you couldn't beat a wildly off-target Daisuke Matsuzaka on Monday, losing 6-3 — your fourth straight loss — I wouldn't be mocking the Lions too loudly. It may not be long before your fans are wearing paper ...
Yankees-Red Sox Rivalry Jumps Shark, Lands In Madness
Sometime in the not-so-distant future, when all the oil and electricity is gone, global warming takes a firm hold and mankind is left to fend for itself in a feral state, I would expect scenes such as the following to occur with frequency. But not yet. For the love of God, not yet. As you might have...
Ozzie Guillen Does A Brilliant Ozzie Guillen Impersonation
Perhaps it's appropriate that Ozzie Guillen would unleash one of his patented expletive-filled tirades on Chicago fans, the Cubs, and media outlets just a few short days removed from the 25th anniversary of Lee Elia's epic f-bomb ranting. Maybe it was an homage. But more likely it was just Ozzie Gui...
Who Is This Old Man In My Online Baseball Schedule?
So I'm perusing the Giants schedule on their MLB site and look what I see on May 22. Apparently we're all going to the movies! I expect to see ads on the periphery of my baseball schedule, but within the schedule itself? It's just one small step from that to Doritos ads on players' uniforms. (They'r...
But Where Are Rich Garces' Tits?
And...we're off. Welcome to today's first plummet into non-newsworthy despicability intended for the sole purpose of making your work day more amusing....
So Let Me Introduce To You, The One And Only Jimmy Shields ...
There's no way to sugarcoat this so I'm just going to say it: We live in a world where the Rays and the Marlins are both in first place. It's a world where James Shields outpitches Josh Beckett, where Sweet Caroline is played at Tropicana Field, and where Manny Ramirez is stealing bases. Me no like ...
Red Sox Wine List Thankfully Missing "Sweet Carowine"
The Red Sox, hawking wine for charity and sheer annoyance. [Sox & Dawgs]...
Teddy Wins His First Presidents Race!
Only to get disqualified by Screech, the world's most useless mascot, for cutting a corner of the warning track. He was just following Cartman's advice! That's okay, because I found Frank Robinson sitting with me in the bleeds down the right field line. As for the game, the Nats jumped to a lead wi...
Joba Chamberlain Makes Clumsy Pass At Erin Andrews, Becomes Mortal (WITH UPDATE)
Actually I have no idea what the Yankees' Joba Chamberlain said to Erin Andrews at the conclusion of their interview on Wednesday, but whatever it was, Andrews was obviously repulsed. You can check out the video here and judge for yourself. Man, it looks like she just ate a bug. So then can it just ...
Hold Onto The Damn Ball, Dude
We've never been fortunate enough to grab a baseball at a game, but if we did, we suspect we'd jump around and act the fool for whatever camera happened to be within eye's reach. We'd be that excited. One thing you can guarantee, though, is that we'd hang onto the damned ball. Unlike this Red Sox fa...
Everyone In Boston Is Already Drunk
We're not enough of a Bostonite to understand that full drunken social significance of Patriots Day, but we assume we'll have a smaller Boston readership today; they're all out drinking like crazy and screaming for Kenyans to run faster. Difficult to argue with that....