state Page 334 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Boise State To Baffle Opponents With Bright Colors
Please make a note of wardrobe instructions for all Boise State home games, so that you can properly show your support for the Broncos....by creating blinding seizures in opposing quarterbacks and home TV viewers. [BroncoSports]...

Oklahoma State Fans Incensed Over New Lame-Ass Fight Song
The Oklahoma State Cowboys are unveiling a new pre-game song this year which has some alumni and current students upset due to the tune's overall nonsensical wussiness. Cowboys Forever, y'all....

What The Buckeyes Learned In Canada
There must be a reasonable explanation for this photo, besides the obvious scenario of a Michigan SID spying on Thad Matta's squad and hacking into Ohio State's official athletics Web site. On second thought......

Ohio State Asks Fans To Stop Being Obnoxious Pricks For Five Seconds
Ohio State is graciously allowing a service academy to play football on its field this season and also politely requests that their fans not mercilessly rain boos, slurs and D batteries down upon the Midshipmen as they take the field....

Escaping Ben Terry's Grasp Is Harder Than You Think
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Kansas State Blogger Knows A Lot About Hating Kansas State
The Wichita Eagle hired a new writer to obsessively blog about Kansas State athletics. Unfortunately, some Wildcat fans have a problem with the fact that he's actually a Kansas grad. But at least he has experience badmouthing Manhattan!...

Big Ben Hurt; You May Commence Panicking
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Wit And Wisdom Of James Coley
James Coley is Florida State's tight ends coach and recruiting coordinator, not to mention a prolific Twitterer whose prose style evokes both Cobra Commander and a fortune cookie that wants to kill you. Can u FEEL it?...

The Greatest H-O-R-S-E Shot You'll See All Year
That's K-State guard Denis Clemente doing a credible impression of the Bird/Jordan "Nothing But Net" McDonald's commercials....

Nicholls State Mascot Will Smash Capitalism, Slash You In The Face
Greetings, Comrades! Nicholls State was named in honor of a former Confederate officer, but since the Civil War is (mostly) over, the school decided their Southern Gentlemen Warrior mascot needed an refresh. So now he's a bloodthirsty fascist oppressor....

This Haircut Was Probably Not Voluntary
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Bizarre Sucker Punch Costs Ohio State Footballer His Season
Buckeye linebacker Tyler Moeller will miss the entire year because a complete stranger punched him in the head at a restaurant in Florida. (It wasn't a Gator fan.) The moral, as always, is that Florida is awful. [Columbus Dispatch]...

Southeast Missouri State Feels The NCAA's Sting
The NCAA has thrown the book at Southeast Missouri State basketball, vacating all their men's basketball wins from 2006-2008 because an assistant gave impermissible benefits to a player—by giving him a lift home to see his newborn baby....

Deion Sanders' Mom Is A First Amendment Hero
The amazing thing about this isn't that cops stupidly slapped handcuffs on a sportswriter apparently for the crime of doing his job in casual wear. The amazing thing is that he was arrested because he tried to interview Deion Sanders....

Appalachian State QB Sidelined By Lawn Mowing Injury
Armanti Edwards, who is 32-5 as App State's starting quarterback, ran over his own foot while mowing the lawn. He'll be out 2-4 weeks. That's why you should only let racist National League baseball fans do your yard work. [TheState]...

Bobby Bowden Has Had Just About Enough Of Your "Rules"
FSU's 14 forfeited wins puts Bobby Bowden a distant second in number of all-time D1 victories. The dignified thing to do would be to accept it, move on, and try to outlive outlast JoePa. That's not how Bobby rolls....

Michael Vick Is Back In Business (Sorta)
NFL.com just posted this cryptic statement: "The NFL has reinstated Michael Vick on a conditional basis. The former Falcons QB will be considered for full reinstatement and to play in regular-season games by Week 6." Um. Okay?...

Jay Mariotti On Erin Andrews, AutoSummarized
"Why was the Internet ... giving semi-lives to people with no lives?" thunders Mariotti, who writes for the Internet. The column goes on in this vein for 1,500 words. Let's send this through Microsoft Word's AutoSummarize function, shall we?...

Journeyman Wide Receivers Make You Question Your Mortality
Derrick Mason retired yesterday. He is my favorite Spartan football player of all time. We both graduated from Michigan State in the same year. He had a productive 12-year NFL career. I do this....

How Can You Miss Chuck Long If He Won't Go Away?
Who has the best job in football? Chuck Long, who is getting paid $715,000 a year to not coach San Diego State, or the consultant getting $125 an hour to figure out how to get rid of him?...