steroids Page 20 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Somebody Just Give This Guy A Grill Endorsement Already
You knew, somehow, if Evander Holyfield just hung around long enough, waiting for someone to need a big name to highlight some sort of grueling pay-per-view spectacle, someone would give the 44-year-old former heart patient the opportunity to fight for another championship. (Or die trying. Seriously...

Is This The Night Bonds Finally Ends This?
Call us crazy, but we have a feeling Barry Bonds is going to tie and/or break this record tonight. We kind of want him to; we really can't take anymore. The quicker he does it, the quicker we can all move on with our lives. Plus, having him do it in front of the fanbase that hates him more than any...

Barry In Tampa ... What Might Have Been
As we continue our plodding march toward "history," a march that has taken so long that we can't even keep up our outrage anymore, we consider what might have been....

The Age Of The Asterisk Is Here: Shift/8, Bitches!
With all that's happening these days in the the world of sports, it has become clear: We need the asterisk now more than ever. And on Wednesday, the Hagerstown Suns — a Class-A South Atlantic League baseball team — will pay tribute to that tiny, brave footnote indicator with its Tribute to the Aster...

Lance Armstrong, The Only Pure Cyclist
Mercifully, the Tour de France is over, and some guy we've never heard of but is probably doping like everybody else won. Yahoo. The race's public implosion got us to thinking about Lance Armstrong....

Jose Canseco Is Very Cautious With His Speech
Jose Canseco confounds us, because he's obviously a moron, yet he's pretty much the only guy who's been right about this steroid business from the beginning. It's like learning Charles Nelson Reilly came up with some cinematic innovation 20 years ago. Anyway, he's spouting off again, and this time h...

Maybe You Don't Want Bonds' Home Run Ball
Imagine, hypothetically, that you were the one to catch Barry Bonds' 756th home run ball. It's not gonna be worth as much as it would have been a few years ago — you see, Barry Bonds has done a shitload of steroids, and many don't like that — but it still might, say, pay for a semester of college. (...

Curt Schilling Is Full Of Opinions!
We really want to like Curt Schilling, we really do. We admire his site and can't deny his ability to raise his game at the most important of moments. But man: Sometimes we really wish he'd just be quiet....

Jeff Pearlman, On His Subject Barry Bonds
Barry Bonds remains just two homers away from Hank Aaron's record, and in the wake of this historic and confounding achievement, we felt we should talk to a guy who knows the life of Bonds better than anyone else in the media: Jeff Pearlman, Bonds' biographer in Love Me, Hate Me. We've interviewed...

Selig Won't Watch, But We'll Have To
Well, if that whole Barry Bonds Won't Play On ESPN thing turns out to be based in reality, we're all in luck; Bonds is never going to break Hank Aaron's record. Because everyone of his at-bats is gonna be on The Worldwide Leader until, well, until he breaks it, or dies. So, you know, enjoy....

Bonds Might Do This This Weekend
After his two home runs yesterday, everybody's favorite beacon of light Barry Bonds is just two home runs away from tying Hank Aaron. Perhaps you've heard about this. He's got three games in Bud Selig's hometown of Milwaukee to go for it this weekend, and then comes home for a week. It's possible he...

German TV Is Shocked To Find Doping In This Establishment
We know we're gonna blow your minds here, but it turns out that there has been a bit of a blood doping scandal at the Tour de France! We know! In cycling! Of all places! You know, you think you can trust a sport. Anyway, a German television station has decided it's had just about enough, thank you v...

Elijah Dukes' Divorce Proceedings, Shockingly, Are Getting Nasty
As you probably might expect, the wife of "troubled" Devil Rays outfielder Elijah Dukes is filing for divorce. (This tends to happen when you send your wife's cell phones photos of guns.) She has come up with some not-really-all-that-surprising accusations....

About Last Night ...
What you missed while eating 15 million ice-cream treats ... • MLB: Sheff hits an "all the way black" granny in Tigers' 6-3 win. • Cycling: Belgian Tom Boonen takes Tour's 6th stage on a BMX bike. • CFL: Bombers lose to Inuit; Stegall still stuck on history....


Barry Bonds' Last Friends In The World
Bud Selig can take some solace in the world: Not everyone is gnashing their teeth and rending their garments over Barry Bonds' impending destruction of Hank Aaron's home run record....

Worry Not, Everybody: You'll Be Seeing Plenty Of Bud Selig
We know that you, like us, have been on your proverbial pins and your proverbial needles wondering whether or not baseball commissioner Bud Selig would attend the game in which Barry Bonds destroys our collective faith in humanity by breaking Hank Aaron's home run record. Wonder no longer!...

Please Do Not Protest Bonds In Sign Form
Now that San Francisco Chronicle reporters Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams aren't going to jail for their stories about Barry Bonds, they're getting awfully cocky: They're now exposing the Orwellian practice of shutting down anti-Bonds signs at baseball stadiums....

Evander Holyfield, Still Swinging Away
Holyfield's opponent last night, 41-year-old Lou Savarese, is described here as "durable." Normally a fine adjective, but when applied to a boxer, "durable" sort of means "gets punched in the head a lot." And that's what Evander Holyfield, 3 years older than Savarese, did to him last night....

This Is Why That Child Was Beating Your Ass
As anyone who watches "The Colbert Report" knows, children are a national menace that plan on taking the planet from us. And, to expedite the process, they're all now taking steroids....