stupid Page 16 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
<i>Jeopardy!</i> Declares War On Barry Bonds
If you thought Jeopardy! was going to just sit idly by and let the likes of Barry Bonds sully the good game of baseball and the legitimate heroics contained therein, you thought fucking wrong....
A Thanksgiving Miracle: Air Jordan Logo Appears Inside Cucumber
Look at that cucumber. Look at it closely. I absolutely dare you to tell me that it's not a slow news day....
Dwight Howard Wants To Fight In The UFC For Some Reason
So Dwight Howard was backstage at a fight card in Houston recently and he talked boisterously, before Chandler Parsons and the world, about how he'd love to fight one day and would do it for $10 million and—and, who cares, right? It's Dwight Howard. We know he'll never fight. (Even if he did, it wou...
Hooters Responds, Will Throw Free Party For Middle School Football Team
Yesterday, we wrote about Corbett Middle School's football team, and specifically, head coach Randall Burbach's failed crusade to have his team's end of season awards dinner at the Hooters in Jantzen Beach, Oregon.We wrote about a man fighting for the rights of 12-year-old boys to gawk, unabashed, u...
"Drunken Stupors": A Crack-Smokin' Rob Ford Music Video
Rob Ford admitted today to smoking crack in one of his "drunken stupors." He said it with such rhythm and panache that we turned it into a stupid song....
The New Browns Facility's Walls Are Full Of Fake Quotes
This past August, the Cleveland Browns unveiled their newly renovated training facility to the local press. The four-month, $5 million project to transform the Browns' home into a mid-grade, mid-2000s, middle-management expo featured, among other things, a series of inspirational quotations on the w...
Dwyane Wade Is Very Afraid Of Birds
Dwyane Wade doesn't like birds, so sometimes he sits outside his house and yells at birds. Stupid birds....
"Reach-Around": Beavis And Butthead Read The Sports
Here's Steve Levy and Scott Van Pelt hehehehe-ing their way through Giants-Vikings highlights. SVP describes Jared Allen "reaching around" the lineman to sack Eli Manning and Steve Levy apparently could not resist saying "reach-around." ...
Perfectly Timed Sports TV Graphics Are A Gift From God
We spend so much time here making fun of chyron mistakes that we sometimes forget to give thanks for the serendipitous moments where on-screen graphics and live action work in hilarious concert. ...
Former NFL Player Whose House Was Trashed By Teens Is A Bit Crazy
The saga of Brian Holloway, a former NFL lineman who had his house broken into and trashed by partying teenagers last week, refuses to end. After setting up a website to shame the teens who destroyed his house, Holloway found himself threatened with legal action by parents of the partying teenagers...
Parents Threaten To Sue Guy Whose House Their Degenerate Kids Trashed
You'll recall Brian Holloway, the former New England Patriots lineman whose vacation home in upstate New York was broken into, urinated on and generally destroyed by partying teenagers. The party became a story because Holloway publicly shamed the 200-300 idiot kids who posted pictures and tweets ca...
Here's Don Mattingly Pretending To Be A Wrestler
Don Mattingly and the Dodgers just clinched the NL West. As we offer our congratulations on a job well done, please enjoy this video of Donnie Baseball pretending Al Trautwig's gonna run wild on Tony Kubek. ...
Teens Throw Huge Party At Former NFL Lineman's House While He's Away
Former NFL offensive lineman Brian Holloway has a house and 200 acres of property in Stephentown, N.Y. Over Labor Day weekend, while Holloway was away, roughly 300 kids threw a gigantic rager at his house without his knowledge, trashed the place, and stole his stuff. Teens are the worst....
Infographic: How Should I Feel About The Latest Sports Scandal?
You can't pick up a magazine or turn on the radio these days without hearing about a new scandal in the world of sports. This player's career was a front for a massive interstate drug smuggling operation; that league's games were fixed for the benefit of gamblers; players and owners from that other ...
Coach K Has No Comment On Gucci Mane's Sex Life
Yesterday, rapper Gucci Mane went on a barely decipherable Twitter rant in which he dished dirt on women in the music industry with whom he has allegedly had sex. One tweet in particular caught our eye:...
Guy Takes Picture, May Have Weirded Out Woman Next To Him
This man so brazenly leans over to take a picture during the Rangers-Mariners game tonight that it is either an optical illusion, and he's actually snapping a picture of something other than the attractive woman next to him, or he is snapping a picture of the attractive woman next to him and just ...
Reports: Lamar Odom Is Addicted To Crack (Or Oxycontin And Ambien)
Depending on which report you read, Lamar Odom is either addicted to crack or oxycontin and Ambien. Odom, who is married (for now) to a Kardashian, was reportedly in rehab for one or all of these addictions last August and left after three weeks. He was clean for the 2012-2013 season....
This Photo Of Cronut Customers Buying Breakfast In Line Is Very Sad
Reader Tara sends this along:...