tack Page 12 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Peter Crouch’s Mum And Dad Attacked By Hungry Baboons
Gangly striker Peter Crouch's parents have been left ‘petrified' after a gang of wild baboons broke into their hotel room at the Sun City resort near England's training camp in Rustenburg....
Spirit Airlines Graduates From Hornball Puns About Oral Sex To Hornball Puns About Catastrophic Oil Spills
The crappy budget carrier, known for its studiedly edgy marketing tailored to the Cocks-hats-and-Rohypnol crowd, is now cracking wise about the BP oil spill: "Check Out The Oil On Our Beaches." Seriously? Who besides Joe Hazelwood is this supposed to appeal to? [Sparty & Friends]...
Today In Tacky World Cup Marketing: Hyundai's Soccer Car
Soccer-ball wheels, soccer-cleat sideviews, artificial-turf interiors make for one hideous promotional vehicle. At the same time, shouldn't every sport be doing this? I want to laugh at a Ford F-150 outfitted with a Buccaneers helmet, stat. [Copyranter]...
Five Guys Is Good, Just Ask Phil Mickelson
Remember how Phil Mickelson wouldn't stop prattling on about Five Guys last week at The Players? "Best burger I've ever had," he said. Yeah, turns out Lefty owns rights to Five Guys franchises in Orange County. [Sports Biz, via WUP]...
Washed-Up Coach Reduced To Shamelessly Peddling Crap On Twitter
Judging by his Twitter account, Florida Atlantic's Mike Jarvis is now a celebrity spokesman for something called the EnergyCare Dream Pillow, which apparently worked so well for Jarvis that he slept through an entire basketball season. [@coachmikejarvis]...
Dwight Howard Copies That One Thing That LeBron Copied
Dwight Howard, the clown prince of the NBA, imitated LeBron James' sorta-not-really-his chalk toss before Game 2 against the Hawks. Dwight should go for broke next time; do MJ's tongue waggle while coming out of an Eagle County courthouse. [The Hoops Doctors]...
Gary Coleman Would Not Like To Apologize For His Actions
In other scandal-ridden relationship news, Gary Coleman overcompensates for his short stature by telling "The Insider" round table to promptly go fuck themselves....
Begun, The Hockey Playing Ice Bear War Has
A Russian circus manager was mauled to death by a bear wearing hockey skates. First, Anchorage, then Fairbanks, now Kyrgyzstan? The angry sports bears are officially out to get us. This won't end well for humanity. [BBC]...
South Carolina Golfer Loses Arm To Angry Alligator
A 70-year-old tries to retrieve his ball from the drink, but a 10-foot alligator decided he'd rather pull the guy into the water and chew on him awhile. They should make a hilarious movie about that! [Fanhouse/ESPN/OurKitchenSink]...
CFL Lineman Sacks Purse Snatcher On Streets Of Edmonton
Because we all need to believe in the power of sport again, here's a story involving an athlete that has a happy ending. If reading about a thief get crunched by a professional football player makes you happy, that is....
Coach's Foot Attacked by Deranged Panamanian Groin
Things got ugly during yesterday's match between Panama and Mexico. I'm not one for pointing fingers, but I'm guessing that the Mexican coach making for this guy's groin (while the ball was in play) didn't exactly defuse the situation....
A Great White Shark Ate This Man's Hand
I find it amazing how after surfers get attacked by sharks ,some of them jump right back in the ocean and continue the sport with less body parts. But here's another handless Aussie surfer walking through the raindrops....
Joey Votto: Not Gay, Just Having Terrible Anxiety Attacks
"The one night I was alone, the very first night I was alone, was when I went to the hospital. I couldn't take it. It just got to the point where I felt I was going to die, really." [Outsports/GraneyAndThePig/MLB.com]...
Soccer Player Survives On-Field Heart Attack
Today's most popular viral video? Belgian footballer Anthony Van Loo (funny) suffers a heart attack mid-game (not funny), but survives thanks to his implanted defibrillator (applause!)....
French Open Idiot Has Done This Many, Many Times Before
The man's name is "Jimmy Jump" and he fancies himself some sort of professional shit-stirrer at sporting events. He has his own website, actually and solicits donations from people to help support his "funny antics." [Jimmy Jump (HT:Bill R)]...
Victim Of Jose Offerman's Bat Rage Not Doing So Well
Two years ago, John Nathans wound up on the wrong end of Jose Offerman's bat. And now? The Boston Globe finds him, oh this is sad, getting rubber balls bounced off his face....
Reporter Sees Rat, Freaks Out In Exact Highly Amusing Way You'd Expect
The above video, featuring Comcast SportsNet's Capitals reporter Lisa Hillary suffering a highly entertaining, if ultimately non-life-threatening, heart-attack while being terrorized by a Verizon Center rat, represents our first exposure to playoff hockey in years....
Danny Ainge Suffers Heart Attack, Is Expected To Recover
Former Celtics star and current director of basketball operations Danny Ainge was taken to a Boston hospital today after suffering a "minor heart attack." [WBZ-TV]...
Defeated Soccer Team Welcomed Home With Cheers, Death Threats
This Argentine squad arrived at their home airport after a rough 2-0 defeat to a Mexican team that knocked them out of a major international tournament, a loss so crushing that their manager resigned after the game. It was such a tough road environment that fans at the game in Mexico were chanting d...