tea Page 114 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Those Redeem Team Players Just Can't Help Being So Damned Charming
This smartly dressed-looking woman is named Stephanie Stricklen, a reporter for KGW Northwest News 8 in Portland, Oregon. For the past couple weeks, she's been assigned to traipse around Beijing and add a friendly, familiar face to her station's Olympic coverage. And just like track star Kara Gouche...

IOC Finally Launches Investigation Into Chinese Gymnasts Thanks To "Stryde Hax"
It appears the U.S. women's gymnastics team may actually get their coveted gold medals if an IOC investigation into the ages of the Chinese gymnastics team proves the little demons weren't all 16 years of age. After initially dodging all the questions, the findings of one U.S.-based blogger named St...

Farwell and Adieu, You Slant-Eyed Spanish Ladies....
Amid all the controversy (or non-controversy — if you're European) surrounding the Spanish men's basketball team's "slit-eyed" photo it's hard to tell who's really wrong here. Is Spain just a culturally backwards country or are we a bunch of hypersensitive whiners overloaded on politically correct b...

Spanish Basketball Team Celebrates Trip to China With Slant-Eye Team Photo
Spain, patron saint of the New World, land of low-priced cerveza, Sergio Garcia's homeland, and where slant-eyed jokes by the Spanish national basketball team leave the entire country rolling on the floor with laughter. Those were the fourth grade days. Just imagine what would have happened if they...

So How Much Trouble Is Team USA In, Really?
Is Team USA doomed? Should an 87-76 win over Australia on Tuesday in the final tuneup before official Olympic competition be considered a good thing, or a harbinger of doom? Is this shaping up to be a debacle like 2004, when we could only manage a bronze? When Argentina asks you how their ass taste,...

Yankee Revenue To Immediately Double In New Stadium
Last year the Yankees brought in an estimated $327 million to lead all major league baseball teams. Not bad considering that in 1973 George Steinbrenner bought the entire team for $10 million. But if you think those revenue numbers are big, you ain't seen nothing yet. When the new stadium opens next...

If Team USA Fails to Win Gold Again, Will Whores Be to Blame?
Team USA, undefeated in meaningless games against international competition thus far this summer, is having a grand ol' time in Asia right now. But as much fun as it is to beat up on hairy foreigners, there's nothing quite like visiting some of the finer brothels the region has to offer. Just ask Le...

Gourmet Spud's Thursday Afternoon CFL D###-Joke Free Jambor-eh
Drew Magary is off this week on a well-deserved, court-ordered "vacation". Filling in for Deadspin's juggernaut featured columnist is Gourmet "Who?" Spud, one of Deadspin's new weekend swing editors, a frequent commentor, and 1/4 of the team over at Food Court Lunch. He also helped your grandmother...

Just Because Justin Gimelstob Doesn't Like Her, It Doesn't Mean He Can't Stare Intently
Here's a photo from Down The Line that shows Washington Kastles hard-on Justin Gimbelstob admiring Anna Kournikova's newly-inflated kaploogas at a recent World Team Tennis match in Washington D.C. Gimbelstob, as you may remember, not-so-famously said that Kournikova was a "bitch" and that he "despis...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch with your friend, Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson ... • Boxing: Light heavyweights, Chris Henry vs. Rubin Williams, at Houston (9 p.m., ET). Shouldn't the jock be worn inside the trunks? [ESPN2] • Cycling: Tour de France, Stage 5, Cholet to Chateauroux, France (8 p.m., ET). Why must the sea...

Mike Lowell Kills With Cell Phone Pranks
Those crafty Red Sox, you never know what they're going to be up to next....

Morning Blogdome: Don't Go For Second Best, Baby
• A-Rod, His Wife, and Lenny Kravitz walk into a Madonna concert...: So, you're Alex Rodriguez, attending a Madonna concert with your wife and you say to yourself, "God. Madonna. She's really brawny and inspiring. I wish I could talk with her and just figure out how she does it." And you're Cynthia,...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you tearfully raise your fist with pride and chant "USA! USA!" ... • Major League Soccer: Houston at Real Salt Lake (10 p.m., ET). How to change the station without using my hands? [ESPN2] • Motor sports: NASCAR Sprint Cup, Coke Zero 400, practice, at Daytona Beach, Fla (4 p.m. and ...

This Woman Is Smiling Because She Just Humped A High School Baseball Team
Here we have Julie Pritchett, a former middle school special-ed teacher in sleepy Trussville, Alabama, whose love of young men playing baseball extends beyond the diamond, and into her pants....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while wondering why it's always Ohio... • MLB: Chicago White Sox at Chicago Cubs. I'm told they're not fond of each other, and with good reason. [ESPN] • NBC: Olympics: U.S. Olympic Qualifying, Women's Gymnastics. Make.It.Stop. • Show: Weeds, in case you missed Monday's season premier....

About Last Night
All those who guessed that the cubicle rampage video was a fake, please come collect your winnings ... • MLB: All hail the walkoff grand slam. Everybody say Uggla! Marlins 6, Phillies 2. • Soccer: Wait, they have Cristiano Ronaldo, and Pepe? How can Portugal ever lose? • NFL: I Am Legend ... Will Sm...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while giving into sloth, greed, lust, wrath, envy, pride and especially gluttony....

Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee In A Pringles Can
By anyone's estimation, Frederic J. Baur lived a full life. The organic chemist and food storage technician lived to the ripe old age of 89. He and his wife had two sons and four grandchildren. But chief among his accomplishments, he thought, was his design of the Pringles can. That's why, come chec...

Oye Como Va! Twice The Santana Means Twice The Fun
Please do not confuse Johan Alexander Santana Araque, pitcher for the Mets, with Ervin Ramon Santana, pitcher for the Angels. One is from Venezuela (chief exports: Petroleum, bauxite and aluminum) and one is from the Dominican Republic (predominant religion: Roman Catholicism). Unfortunately, we ar...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after a day at the penis museum ... • Golf: LPGA, Corning (N.Y.) Classic, first round, (6:30 p.m. ET; same-day tape). So who do you think is hotter; Danielle Ammaccapane or Dina Ammaccapane? [The Golf Channel] • NBA: Eastern Conference finals, Game 2, Detroit at Boston (8:30 p.m., ET)....