tea Page 113 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Deadspin I-Team Failed Its Badonkular Panamanian Cricket Mission
Luckily, there were others on the case. Cancel your flights to Panama. [TheRapUp]...

Even The Owner Of The New York Islanders Doesn't Like His Team
Nine years ago, businessman Charles Wang thought he would do Long Island a solid and buy their Islanders so the team could stay in Nassau County. Now? He kinda wishes he could have a do-over....

The University Of Oregon's Ultimate Frisbee Team Knows What It Means To Be ULTIMATE, Man
Suspended for off-field antics, the team got all "Footloose" at a school board meeting: "Speeding, drinking, nudity - they're not bad things. They're things a big portion of the community doesn't think are wrong." [SeattleTimes]...

Jacoby Ellsbury's Steal Of Home Turns Well-Meaning Boston Dads Into Smiling Pimps
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap. (Photo: Bugs And Cranks)...

New Baseball Franchise Attempts To Hitch Its Wagon To Stephen Colbert's Star (Update)
The new Frontier League baseball team in Normal, Ill., needs a nickname, and it's up to you to rock the vote. Of course they're secretly hoping you'll opt for option "C."...

The Lingerie Football League Is Not Immune To The Cruel Economic Realities Of America
The Atlanta Steam has relocated to (gasp) Charlotte. Adjust your schedules accordingly. [Monkeys Throwing Darts]...

ESPN Has Found A Replacement For Emmitt Smith...Matt Millen
While ESPN de-bloats, they wouldn't be the WWL unless they also added a big name. The biggest one so far: Matt Millen, Ex-Lions GM/Architect of Destruction, will join their Monday Night Countdown on-site team....

Dude, Where's My Stick?
What happens when a Boston Bruins fan (in other words, drunk) tries to steal Alexei Kovalev's stick? See below for the Solomon-like result....

Teacher Takes High School Cheerleaders To Strip Club, Hilarity Ensues
So you're a teacher who takes four high school cheerleaders on a field trip to a gay male strip club that serves them alcohol, and suddenly you're fired? It just doesn't seem fair....

America's Green Room Princess
The stars continue to magnificently align for Erin Andrews, as the ESPN mother ship has officially anointed her worthy of interviewing muscular young men in tailored suits and shiny team logo'd hats....

Easter In New Zealand Seems Festive
When there's a "Great Easter Bunny Hunt" in America it usually involves laughing children carrying wicker baskets filled with Cadbury eggs. But in New Zealand it involves 14,799 bloody bunny carcasses....

Defeated Soccer Team Welcomed Home With Cheers, Death Threats
This Argentine squad arrived at their home airport after a rough 2-0 defeat to a Mexican team that knocked them out of a major international tournament, a loss so crushing that their manager resigned after the game. It was such a tough road environment that fans at the game in Mexico were chanting d...

Do Not Cross The Hillsdale College Baseball Team
In a tradition as old as baseball itself, an editor who criticized the Hillsdale College (Mich.) baseball team's putrid record found his front porch decorated with dead animal carcasses, including a shotgunned goat....

This Week On A Very Special 'Friday Night Lights' ...
So you've quit the high school football team, and now you want to come back. OK, well, this being Texas, you'll need to drop your pants for a rather brutal paddlin'....

Dana White Apologizes For Offending Everybody
After UFC's Dana White went on a fuck-and-faggot filled tirade on his YouTube blog, he wisely realized that it's probably bad publicity to have something like that floating around....

The Horrbile Truth: Lady Terrapins Eat Kids
It's their team motto, and it's simply left to us to interpret it. "We Eat Kids." What kind of sick antics are going on behind the scenes at the NCAA Women's Basketball Tournament?...

The Las Vegas Wranglers Present The Greatest Night Of Hockey ... Ever
Minor league franchises always try hard to present a family friendly atmosphere, but for one night only the Las Vegas Wranglers will not be down with that. Get your tickets now for "Over 18 Night."...

NCAA Tournament Live Blog: (6) Marquette vs (11) Utah State
Your live blogger for this game will be the quaint Marquettian Christopher Cwik. As far as I'm told, he's no relation to the Nestlé family....

NCAA First Round: (6) Marquette vs. (11) Utah State
West Region: No. 6 Marquette (24-9) vs. No. 11 Utah State (30-4) When: Friday, 12:30 p.m., EDT Where: Taco Bell Arena, Boise, Idaho MARQUETTE GOLDEN EAGLES 1) More Dominic James Melodrama The oft-maligned Dominic James was Marquette's most important player, despite Doug Gottlieb-esque 46% free thr...

OK, What's With All The Lesbian Gym Teachers Around Here?
The shocking truth: There may be lesbian physical education teachers in San Francisco Bay Area high schools, and they're diddling with students. And according to one law enforcement official, it's technology's fault....