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About Last Night
What you missed while officially retiring these words and phrases ... • College football: Tebpwned ... Michigan's 41-35 win over Florida in Capital One Bowl is considered a huge upset, which is why Lloyd Carr won't be coaching anymore. • Tennis: Davenport victorious in return to tournament play in f...

SHOTY Final Four: Elijah Dukes Vs. Isiah Thomas
Because it's New Years Eve, and we're taking tomorrow off, we figured we'd go ahead and let this post ride the rest of the night and all day tomorrow. (At least until we do our "ZOOOOK" post after the Illini shock the world in the Rose Bowl.)...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while enjoying a sweet, sweet batch of diamond fudge ... • NFL: Titans at Colts (8:15 p.m., ET). In Sorgi Cleveland trust. [NBC] • College Football: Alabama vs. Colorado in the Independence Bowl (8:00 p.m., ET). Oh, sorry, the PetroSun Independence Bowl. [ESPN] • Movie: The Bourne Supr...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while building a castle made entirely of new socks ... • NFL: New England at New York Giants (8:00 p.m., ET). Finally a chance to use that damn picture-in-picture feature. [CBS and NBC] • College Football: Alamo Bowl: Penn State vs. Texas A&M, at San Antonio (8:00 p.m., ET). Yes, yes, ...

David Beckham Secure In His Manhood/Wears Ballet Shoes
Yes dammit, David Beckham is a metrosexual. Let him shout it from the rooftops! At last he is free, FREE! La la la la la la (skips away, stripping off clothing). In an interview on British radio on Monday, Beckham not only said that he is proud to be a gay icon, but that his wife dresses him. Oh, th...

About Last Night
What you missed while shoplifting eight giant red hot pickled sausages, stealing a doughnut truck and ramming a University of Wisconsin police car. Oh, and your name is Warren Whitelightning ... (with video) • Holiday Bowl: One For The Thumb ... Texas steamrolls ASU 51-34 despite Mack Brown's goofy ...

This Week In The SSW
EM>For years — OK, a couple of days — Slate writer Robert Weintraub has been tinkering with a concept called The SSW, short for "The Sean Salisbury Wisdom," which tracks the consensus of the football punditocracy to ensure those triumphant declarations from Friday aren't flushed down the memory hole...

Herman Edwards' Coors Light Commercial
We have made no secret of our enduring love of The Dugout, both in its original incarnation and its current, non-expletive form at AOL Sports. But you think these guys just know baseball? Pshaw....

SHOTY Final Four: Kige Ramsey Vs. Pac Man Jones
This is it, folks: We're at the Final Four. Look out: There's Billy Packer! Bah! Grrr!...

Looking Back, Looking Ahead
Dan Shanoff writes a weekly college football column for Deadspin. Email him to let him know what you think....

ManU's Very High Ankle Sprains
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer. This column would have run Monday, but no one was reading the site on Monday....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while perusing fake Craigslist ads... • 8:00 p.m. — Hawaii Bowl: East Carolina vs. Boise State. It's so inconvenient to have to bring your own blue paint on road trips, but it's worth it. [ESPN] • 8:15 p.m. — NFL: Redskins at Vikings. Or, a rematch of the colonization of Newfoundland. ...

West Virginians Should Get Out Of The Conspiracy Theory Business
There's been a wave of sympathy for Michigan in the past year, and I for one hoped they were going to find a good solid coach from the lower ranks to bring up, like Ohio State did with Jim Tressel. That didn't happen, and my sympathy swung to West Virginia for losing their fabled coach Rich Rodrigue...

Tony Romo Distracted By Watching Marion Barber Run Through Linebackers
I'm sure everyone involved in the Dallas Cowboys organization would love to get home to their families by Sol Invictus, but they all have some unfinished business even after beating the Carolina Panthers 20-13 last night....

About Last Night...
What you missed while publicly executing Santa Claus... • NFL: Matt Moore was disrupted by printouts of ... your mom. Cowboys escape Carolina with a 20-13 win. • NCAA Football: Best two out of three then? BYU avenges regular season loss to UCLA in the Las Vegas Bowl. • NCAA Basketball: Oregon loses ...

Jessica Simpson Won't Be In Romo's Head, More Like Against It
It might seem a skosh ridiculous that Carolina Panthers fans are going balls out on this Jessica Simpson cutout distraction thingy tonight against Tony Romo and the Dallas Cowboys, considering that Terrell Owens has said repeatedly that Simpson really isn't a distraction to the team after all. So th...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while finding alternate uses for your excess candy canes... • 5:00 p.m. — New Mexico Bowl: Nevada vs. New Mexico; 8:00 p.m. — Pioneer Las Vegas Bowl: BYU vs. UCLA. Wait, no non-sports-related sponsorship tie-in to the New Mexico Bowl? Not Interested. [ESPN] • 4:30 p.m. — College Basket...

Kirk Radomski Is In Your Extended Network
This analysis of the names in the Mitchell Report? Yeah, we're not done with it yet. Slate compiled a nifty little web graph — an "interweb," if you will — of how the players heard about the butt-needling services of one Kirk Radomski. It's color coded and everything....

Not content with mastering just one method of legally beating the shit out of people in public, Floyd Mayweather might become a mixed martial arts fighter. Now, ESPN reported this story first, and yet I'm linking to an AP story. I know. It's not fair. Consider it a make-up call. [Associated Press]...

About Last Night...
What you missed while explaining the jerkoff motion to your co-workers... • NCAA Football: SCHNELL! SCHNELL! Florida Atlantic quickly builds a football program and wins a bowl game. • NHL: Pssh. Ancient Chinese secret. Calgary falls to Dallas in overtime. • NBA: Portland's win streak is at 10, they'...