the Page 1023 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Goodbye Sweet Weekend
OK, that's it for me, peeps. Many thanks to Will for letting me spin the ol' hamster wheel with you this weekend. It sure is a lot of fun when you get that little son of a bitch going. (His legs are so short!)...

Lefty Loses The Scottish Open In Style
I don't follow golf. Never have, only will when I'm older and need a good way to hide from my goddamn wife and kids who won't stop bugging me to take them to the fucking movie theatre to see some shitty ass flick that probably stars Hillary Duff....

Minor League Pitcher Pokes MLB On Facebook
Right-handed pitcher Jensen Lewis, 23, owned AAA hitters over the last month. At Buffalo he has posted a record of 1-0 with a save and a 1.38 ERA in 10 games, eight of which were scoreless....



Saturday Afternoon Stuff To Watch
• 1 p.m. — NBA: NBA Access with Ahmad Rashad and his earring [ABC] • 2 p.m. — Movie: Cliffhanger [Telemundo] • 2 p.m. — College Football: Miami vs. Ohio State in the 2003 Fiesta Bowl [ESPN Classic] • 3 p.m. — Golf: John Deere Classic [CBS] • 3 p.m. — Movie: Days of Thunder [Spike] • 3:30 p.m. — MLB:...

Beckham Is Here! (And So Is Our Winner)
The day has come, folks: David Beckham's first formal press conference as a member of the MLS is today. DC Sports Bog will be live blogging the presser, and though we're not sure how that's gonna work, it'll likely be entertaining anyway....

Your Feeble Kicks Have No Effect On ... DOH!
It's an idea whose time has come; NBA players as European soccer goalies. Perhaps the Celtics' Paul Pierce is not the one to blaze this particular trail, however; as he looks here less like a keeper and more like a captured tuna....

Jesus Wore A Floppy Hat For Your Sins
Speaking just for myself, I am never happier than when I'm at a baseball game watching the Gay Men's Chorus while wearing a floppy hat. But leave it to certain groups to take all of the fun out of my weekends....

A-Rod Scores Them In Bunches
The guy who provided this here site with The Tip That Shook The Nation — involving Chris Berman and a certain leather-clad female — of course earned a place in our our mythical Tipster Hall of Fame. And in our hearts. But he's slipping, unfortunately. His once great fastball is now merely a languid ...

Platt Vs. Turturro, For All The Ham
If you haven't gotten brought up to speed on The Bronx Is Burning just yet, fret not: It's pretty easy to catch up. Oliver Platt yells, John Turturro yells, Sam shoots people, Reggie hits homers. (The Dugout recap sums it up rather well.)...

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother
As some of you might have heard, Ron Artest's little brother is trying to make it in the NBA. He's got a few strikes against him. First, he's Ron Artest's brother. Second, he weighs about 300 pounds. Third, he weighs about 300 pounds and thinks his jump shot's gonna get him to the League....

What's That Lassie? Mike Greenberg Needs Our Help?
The sun is shining these days on ESPN radio host Mike Greenberg. He's on the backup team for "Monday Night Football," he's got a wacky "Everybody Loves Greeny!" book on the shelves, he's introducing spelling bees on network television and he's the official face of Arena Football, for better or worse...

What We Wish We Could Bid On At The ESPN Auctions
Tomorrow is the last day to bid on official ESPN items to benefit The V Foundation, which helps cancer research and the ability to recruit in a somewhat shady manner. Most of the items are rather dull. An ESPN employee banner signed by Trey Wingo and Jeremy Schapp! A signed Bill Callahan Nebraska je...

Spike Is Here, Kids, And He's READY TO BALL
We've talked to you before about Spike, The Super Ball, the official mascot of Super Bowl XLII at the Pink Taco in Glendale next February. Well, now, Spike is making public appearances. We are all of sudden SO EXCITED about Super Bowl XLII, thanks to Spike's signature brand of crowd-pleasing banter...

Hirshey's First Annual Becksiest Man Alive Contest
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

Tanner Boyle Says Fox Can Take Their Trophy And Stick It Up Their BLEEP
So you want to join in the discussion on the Fox message boards, but you're not sure if you'll be able to call someone a "dipshit" if it's warranted? Sure, it's a dilemma we all face. But now the mighty Fox Network gives you two choices with their blogs, story comments and message boards: Spicy, and...

Gene Upshaw Is Smarter Than You Think
Say what you will about NFL players union chief Gene Upshaw — that he's an out-of-control, useless stooge who collapses under even the slightest bit of pressure from the NFL, which just waits for him to say something idiotic again — but you can't say he doesn't know how to take care of himself....