the Page 1038 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Your Feeble Kicks Have No Effect On ... DOH!
It's an idea whose time has come; NBA players as European soccer goalies. Perhaps the Celtics' Paul Pierce is not the one to blaze this particular trail, however; as he looks here less like a keeper and more like a captured tuna....
Jesus Wore A Floppy Hat For Your Sins
Speaking just for myself, I am never happier than when I'm at a baseball game watching the Gay Men's Chorus while wearing a floppy hat. But leave it to certain groups to take all of the fun out of my weekends....
A-Rod Scores Them In Bunches
The guy who provided this here site with The Tip That Shook The Nation — involving Chris Berman and a certain leather-clad female — of course earned a place in our our mythical Tipster Hall of Fame. And in our hearts. But he's slipping, unfortunately. His once great fastball is now merely a languid ...
Platt Vs. Turturro, For All The Ham
If you haven't gotten brought up to speed on The Bronx Is Burning just yet, fret not: It's pretty easy to catch up. Oliver Platt yells, John Turturro yells, Sam shoots people, Reggie hits homers. (The Dugout recap sums it up rather well.)...
Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother
As some of you might have heard, Ron Artest's little brother is trying to make it in the NBA. He's got a few strikes against him. First, he's Ron Artest's brother. Second, he weighs about 300 pounds. Third, he weighs about 300 pounds and thinks his jump shot's gonna get him to the League....
What's That Lassie? Mike Greenberg Needs Our Help?
The sun is shining these days on ESPN radio host Mike Greenberg. He's on the backup team for "Monday Night Football," he's got a wacky "Everybody Loves Greeny!" book on the shelves, he's introducing spelling bees on network television and he's the official face of Arena Football, for better or worse...
What We Wish We Could Bid On At The ESPN Auctions
Tomorrow is the last day to bid on official ESPN items to benefit The V Foundation, which helps cancer research and the ability to recruit in a somewhat shady manner. Most of the items are rather dull. An ESPN employee banner signed by Trey Wingo and Jeremy Schapp! A signed Bill Callahan Nebraska je...
Spike Is Here, Kids, And He's READY TO BALL
We've talked to you before about Spike, The Super Ball, the official mascot of Super Bowl XLII at the Pink Taco in Glendale next February. Well, now, Spike is making public appearances. We are all of sudden SO EXCITED about Super Bowl XLII, thanks to Spike's signature brand of crowd-pleasing banter...
Hirshey's First Annual Becksiest Man Alive Contest
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
Tanner Boyle Says Fox Can Take Their Trophy And Stick It Up Their BLEEP
So you want to join in the discussion on the Fox message boards, but you're not sure if you'll be able to call someone a "dipshit" if it's warranted? Sure, it's a dilemma we all face. But now the mighty Fox Network gives you two choices with their blogs, story comments and message boards: Spicy, and...
Gene Upshaw Is Smarter Than You Think
Say what you will about NFL players union chief Gene Upshaw — that he's an out-of-control, useless stooge who collapses under even the slightest bit of pressure from the NFL, which just waits for him to say something idiotic again — but you can't say he doesn't know how to take care of himself....
Chandler: This Year You Are Mine, Dan Patrick
If you are reading this, Dan Patrick, let's clear the air on this interview nonsense right away. To put it bluntly, last year you snubbed me. You were the only player at the Lake Tahoe American Century Golf Championship to do so — I even talked with Mike Schmidt. Mike freakin' Schimdt....
Shockingly, The ESPN Movie Isn't Getting Great Reviews
We will confess, we have been, in spite of ourselves, kind of looking forward to the premiere of The Bronx Is Burning tonight. We know, ESPN's movies have been rather awful, and we are dealing with the guy who directed Benny And Joon....
Your Definitive RPS Report
We didn't have the opportunity to watch the big replay of the Rock Paper Scissors tournament over the weekend — what a grand three days of sports we have on tap this week! — but we were hoping that it was like competitive eating, in that there was a modicum of training and skill involved. According ...
Time Once Again To Run Alongside Confused Beef
If you don't count the stuff that goes on in Michael Vick's backyard, then the annual Running of the Bulls in Spain is probably my least favorite sporting event. My favorite sporting event? Well, I think that's been well documented. High five! But I have to admit that every year at this time, I root...
Richard Gasquet Is Your Not-Gay Semifinalist
Roger Federer, staving off a surprising surge from longtime rival Rafael Nadal, won his fifth consecutive Wimbledon yesterday. (His first Wimbledon win was over that idiot on that dumb NBC reality show, by the way.) But the real winner wasn't Federer, but semifinalist Richard Gasquet, who finally ba...
Do NOT ... Go In There. WOOO!
It's perfectly acceptable to vent frustration after a lousy inning of relief pitching. (Fernando Rodney does it all the time.) But here's a lesson to all those up-and-coming pitchers: if you plan to exact physical damage in the dugout bathroom after such an outing, make sure you have an escape route...
Five Straight Wimbledons For A Swiss Athlete
When I first heard of Roger Federer, he already had two Grand Slam titles, and I was sort of hoping that with every additional championship he won, he would legally add another "-er" suffix to his last name. At this point in history he would have added 11 consecutive "ers", as he defeated Rafael Nad...