Clay Is Dry and Ready

While We were all busy watching college football Clay Buchholz was having his way with the Oh-ree-yoles (stupid asbestos) to the tune of zero hits over nine innings. He becomes the third Major Leaguer to throw a no-hitter this season and the 21st rookie to accomplish the feat. Buchholz was as efficient as he was masterful, throwing 115 pitches while racking up nine strikeouts against three walks. An assist has to go to all five feet of Dustin Pedroia. His incredible defensive effort singlehandedly saved the no-no. The Sox bats got the job done as well in the 10-0 win. Those poor Yankees can't catch a break.

• There Goes A-Rod's Sex Life Speaking of the Yanks... they did manage to pick up a win over their fierce rivals from Tampa Bay. Alex Rodriguez led the way with a homer and four runs driven in despite those dubious Devil Rays and their gamesmanship. In response to Joe Torre having Akinori Iwamura's goofy bat confiscated the Rays did the same to the Yankees third baseman. 22 year-old starter Ian Kennedy pitched a gem amidst a deluge of asshattery. The rookie pitched seven strong allowing just one run while tallying six strikeouts en route to the 9-6 victory. They Yankees are in position for the wildcard and they remain five back of Boston in the East.

• Hovering Above Mediocrity Milwaukee continued their turnaround with a dominating 12-3 victory over the Pirates but those wily Cubs just won't give an inch. Chicago got a quality start out of suspected Canadian Jew, Jason Marquis, and some timely production out of their big bangers Derrek Lee and Aramis Ramirez. They hung survived a typically terrifying Ryan Dempster save opportunity for the 4-3 win over Houston. St. Louis kept up with the other Central dwellers with a win of their own. They remain a half game back of Milwaukee and two back of Chicago.