the Page 1038 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
OK, Peyton Can Keep His Job
Damn, just when you write off Peyton Manning as a fluke he comes back to life! Since we last checked in he's added a pair of touchdown passes (Wayne and Addai) and the Colts have pulled away from the first place Panthers. Wait...Carolina's in first place? I don't think I want to live in such a world...
Our Big Ben Can't Tell Time Or Hold His Liquor, But He Can Throw
In Cincinnati the quarterbacks have been all but perfect. Caron Palmer has gone 14-16 for 114 yards but the Bengals have seen two drives stall out forcing them to settle for a pair of field goals. Conversely Ben Roethlisberger is 10-12 for 136 yards with two satisfying touchdowns. Willie Parker has ...
Ho-ly Crap
Really, is there anything else left to say? There were like 15 laterals there for Trinity University of San Antonio and it all resulted in a 24-22 win over [Paul] Millsap....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while your fantasy team conducts their final walk-through before tomorrow's big game... • World Series Game 3, Boston at Colorado. Dominican Lou says "It is berry berry cold." I expect Screwballs to post more feats of female hoisting, the air is thinner out there.[FOX] • College footba...
What, No Facepaint?
For a franchise with such a short and unremarkable history the Carolina Panthers sure seem to attract an odd level of devotion. Most recently a curious young couple thought fit to devote their entire wedding ceremony to the team they love so much....
Parlay O' the Week
Amateur athletics and gambling go together like bacon and hot fudge. Each weekend I will share some of my valuable college football gambling wisdom with you, the reader. Just remember, most of said "wisdom" comes from years of losing ridiculously speculative bets; when you lose all your money don't ...
Hey Kids, It's The Giant Colon!
Seriously, the kids could spend all day playing in the giant colon. And they would, if the state capitol building didn't close at 4. Actually, the display is called "Super Colon and Friends," and is on display in Carson City, Nev., to raise colon cancer awareness. But I just call it fun! (Yes, I ha...
Brady Quinn's Stone Cold Lead Pipe Locks
We haven't checked in on Brady Quinn in a while: How's our favorite flashdancer doing?...
Goodnight, Sweet Prancing Prince
It's a sad day, kids, but we knew someday this national joyride had to end: Mark Cuban has been been booted from "Dancing With The Stars." We know. We're sorry we have to be the ones to tell you....
Jason Taylor Is Attacking London
If you happen to be reading this from London, hey there! Put another shrimp on the barbie! Konichiwa! Bellisimo! No me importa un pimiento! Elcome-way oo-tay ee-thay ational-Nay ootball-Fay eague-Lay!...
This Week In The SSW
For years — OK, a couple of days — Slate writer Robert Weintraub has been tinkering with a concept called The SSW, short for "The Sean Salisbury Wisdom," which tracks the consensus of the football punditocracy to ensure those triumphant declarations from Friday aren't flushed down the memory hole on...
Chad Johnson Wants You To Keep The Tape Rolling
No matter what anyone says, it's still hard to adjust to the notion of Keyshawn Johnson wearing a suit and being introduced by Chris Berman. It's like the spectacle of Sitting Bull as part of Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show. Keyshawn was not meant to be tamed....
Which City Has The Ugliest People?
It's a question which has tortured us since we first read it about an hour ago: Which city has the ugliest people? Actually, this survey conducted by CNN News and Travel & Leisure Magazine is not confined to sports fans; it lists the cities with the ugliest residents overall. There were several cate...
Who Doesn't Love Joey Porter?
The Mighty MJD's Smorgasbord runs every Monday. Do enjoy....